Stone Cold Steve Jobs
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Status Updates posted by Stone Cold Steve Jobs
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Happy birthday!
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Ow, my little heart just did a little flip there. Thank you so much, S.G! You'd be the first one today!
I'm in that weird grey zone where you want others to wish you one, but you don't wanna be the one to bring it up first & look all self-centered!
I'm going to try and attempt to bake my own birthday cake! There is going to be a lot of cream cheese involved!
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That awkward moment when your best friend of 20 years forgets your birthday. Again.
Gg.
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My birthday is the 5th. So freaking excited. Yaaaaay. I need a drink.
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Ahem.
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You know what really grinds my gears? When you block the number of a con artist trying to get your personal information through fear, and they get another number and keep bugging you.
i swear, if i get one more message from these people heads will roll.
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Me: *Checking out at store*
Cashier: Caw
Me: What?
Cashier: CAW.
Me:
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*sob*
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I was going to say something about it being a cheap ploy but... this has actually happened on countless times in real life...
Heck, Japan has a famous story of a dog that kept waiting at the train station for decades for his master... so much so that they even made a Yugioh card in memorial... even a skeletal version that's still waiting into eternity...
I... I have so many dogs waiting for me...
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You ready to be let down?
We only know what about 4% of the universe is made of.
You've just been let down.
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I love Drake and Josh, don't get me wrong, but Drake Bell is such a drama queen it just boggles the mind.
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*Day before father's day*
Customer: Are you a daddy, (my name here)?
Me: *pauses a moment* ...I sure hope not.
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I learned a long time ago that there are two kinds of people in this world: people who appreciate my sense of humor and people who can go fuck themselves.
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During the American Revolution, an American ship was out at sea, and a guy in the crow's nest shouts, "Enemy boat on the horizon!" The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt." The crew is confused, but someone gets him his red shirt, which he puts on. The battle commences, and it goes great for them. They destroy the enemy boat and take no casualties of their own.
Later on, the guy from the crow's nest approaches the captain and asks. "Before the battle started, you asked for your red shirt. Why was that?" The captain smiles and says, "This way, if I had been shot, nobody would notice the blood and would fight on anyway." The guy from the crow's nest nods, and considers it a good idea.
The next morning, the same guy is in the crow's nest looking out, and he shouts, "20 enemy boats on the horizon!"
The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
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Waaaiiit... if their calling you names, ain't that also them givin' you attention? I fail to see the downside here!
Hey, if they gonna have a negative view of you, that's kinda a sliver linin' there eh? One less person you gotta live up to their standards for & you might as well play into it anyway!
I've had actual teachers cal me a total prick before! Hey, Haters gon' hate! Just shake it off, shake it off!
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I just found out that tomorrow my best friend of 20 years is going for a "minor surgery" to clear one side of his heart.
I don't know how much more of this year I can do. Who can I beat to death to feel satisfied? I need 2017 personified.
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People keep telling me that Wal-mart might be a good job to easily get... but I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that I think its absolutely souless. People will just eat food right off the shelf and leave the wrapper or cup behind. No matter what good intentions you'd have going in there, it'll just drain ya...
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So, I went to my car and someone had scraped the logo off the front of it. Then an old lady threw a water bottle at my car because she didn't understand how crosswalks worked.
Who gets triggered by a car logo?
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Lol
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You ready to be let down?
Due to composition and pressure differentials, it is possible that it may rain diamonds on Neptune. Too bad we will never get to them.
You've just been let down.
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@K.Rool Addict We have been there before. It's the fact that they fall into the planet that is the problem here. There is no solid ground to Neptune, and no way for a probe to survive entry, and escape.
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Wouldn't it be possible to create a spacecraft with the sole purpose of catching these diamonds before they fall into the planet? I understand the winds are around super sonic speeds there, but I am sure that would not be a problem for a space craft capable of withstanding potentially hundreds of thousands of miles per hour.
I'm sure it is very plausible, but as BronyNumber42 said, they will become way less valuable in that instance lol
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Not with our current technology. As is we can barely keep an active lander on Venus for more than an hour. By the time you reach the diamonds, the pressure above you is too great. That combined with extreme heating and high winds turning diamonds into shrapnel spell doom for any current technology, as well as any we come up with in the near future. One day, perhaps, but not anytime soon.
Nice one.
well good thing I'm not American
