Spider's Claw

Tuxedo Tango glances at Shuffle. That beautiful body. Those wings. That... that plot. I mean, technically they aren't entirely related, so-- no, absolutely not, stop it. Stop! You and Morning Glory start leaving town. Might as well go back to Ponyville, even if you have to go through Everfree Forest. Midnight asks about Morning's family. She says they live in St. Arion anyway. Tuxedo tells you to wait. The two of you ignore him. Winter says the sciencepony's body is missing from the gallows. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings Morning Glory Condition: Fine Talent: Magic Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3 Moonlight Minuet
 Condition: Fine
 Talent: Spy 
Inventory (5/6): Revolver | Electrosapper | Knife | Disguise Kit | Invisibility Watch Winter Waltz
 Condition: Fine 
Talent: Princess 
Inventory (1/4): Communicator Sunny Shuffle Condition: Fine 
Talent: Lvl 2 Aviatrix 
Inventory (2/5): Communicator | MANE CO. Key Tuxedo Tango Condition: Fine Talent: Prince Inventory (1/3): Scalpel

But... but why are you ignoring such a fascinating lecture on physics?! Oh noooo!

Somebody talked me into getting MvC3 against my wishes. And while Ultimate looks pretty awesome, it's not for me seeing as I suck at fighting games. I'm not throwing out any more money. I'm just going to worship Nic Cage from a distance.

This calculus project sure is taking up most of my time!

You tell Morning Glory to go see if he's dead. She asks why. You say it's because she's the only doctor here. She sighs and walks over to the gallows. She checks his pulse. "Yup. He's dead." You say great, now you can get out of here and get back to Ponyville. Morning Glory says she used to live there a long time ago. She'll go with you. St. Arion kind of sucks. Moonlight takes offense. Winter Waltz asks what Ponyville is. "Maaan, sis, I can't believe you don't know about Ponyville!" You look around for the origin of the voice. The others know quite well who it is and where it's coming from. An orange pegasus with the royal family's defining blue eyes (partially covered by some really badass shades) swoops in, carrying Tuxedo Tango with ease. The pegasus introduces herself as Sunny Shuffle. Princess Sunny Shuffle. She prefers Shuffle. You ask how she can possibly be a pegasus if she's the daughter of two earth po-- Moonlight shoves her hoof in your mouth. We don't talk about Shuffle's conception. Shuffle and Tango have joined the party! Shuffle asks if you really want to leave. She thinks you should stay in the town seeing as you just killed the sciencepony. You're like a celebrity. Party:

This is why I love this fandom. No no, that's pretty much good ol' fashioned abuse right there, not "one step from abuse." I suppose I'm lucky that my parents stick to mental abuse. If they ever so much as tried to hurt me I'd be calling CPS on them. That said CPS is totally an option. A final option, but still an option. Alternatively, you've only got three years left there now, right?

I don't know but it probably involves Bonzy My perfect night, at least right now, would be the night where I finally don't have to worry about these bloody college applications and scholarship nonsense. Alternatively, finding out I've been accepted to Harvard. Which is a very real possibility now and it still makes me so giddy!

Moonlight tries to open the MANE CO. crate. It's locked! There's a note on the crate that says the key is taped to the underside. Moonlight takes the key and opens the crate. Moonlight has Found: • A document that legally certifies the owner is an official Spy • Revolver • Electrosapper • A knife • A disguise kit • An invisibility watch • Three extra inventory slots • Talent upgrade: Princess -> Spy Moonlight freaks the hell out. She loves Pony Fortress 2. Now all her dreams are coming true! Her inventory automatically updates. The document does not count toward her inventory, and the scalpel ceases to exist. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings Morning Glory Condition: Fine Talent: Magic Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3 Moonlight Minuet
 Condition: Fine
 Talent: Spy 
Inventory (5/6): Revolver | Electrosapper | Knife | Disguise Kit | Invisibility Watch Winter Waltz
 Condition: Fine 
Talent: Princess 
Inventory (1/4): Communicator

One's not quite enough. You go with four. SERIOUSLY MORNING HELP. Morning Glory goes back to her old mansion house thing, gets her medical supplies, and fixes you with bandages. Because bandages cure everything. Your party begins a victory dance. You're interrupted as one of the ponies shouts that the doctor is still alive. Quick, take him to the gallows! Another pony asks what gallows. St. Arion has no gallows. The first pony proposes it's high time they BUILD gallows. Some ponies set to work on constructing the gallows. You can hear Doctor von Ponington asking vhat's goingk on. Is zis a party? A rock show? Is he being carried throughout ze audience or somezingk? The crowd's chant is getting louder. GIVE US THE DOCTOR GIVE US THE ROPE GIVE US HIS HOOVES GIVE US THE DOCTOR GIVE US THE ROPE! This chant continues until the mob disbands. The four of you walk outside. The blinded sciencepony is hanging from gallows that were constructed in a matter of minutes. Winter asks how long he's going to be up there. One of the mob ponies tells you they're going to keep him up as a warning directed at no one in particular. A pony comes out of the town, saying he has a package for Moonlight Minuet. He hands her a strange crate, which she puts in her inventory. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings Morning Glory Condition: Fine Talent: Magic Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3 Moonlight Minuet
 Condition: Fine
 Talent: Princess 
Inventory (2/3): Scalpel | MANE CO. Crate Winter Waltz
 Condition: Fine 
Talent: Princess 
Inventory (1/4): Communicator

Well, your... "partner," Morning Glory, is/was a doctor! You could go to her! You quickly run from the entrance hall. Doctor von Ponington hears you and starts running after you. "YOU CANNOT GET AVAY FROM ME!" You notice it's nighttime now. You start running down the hill. The blind, bleeding, and possibly mortally wounded sciencepony won't be able to pursue for very long. He knows this too, and starts yelling for his guards to SHOOT ZE INTRUDER, SHOOT ZE INTRUDER. He tells them not to kill, just to incapacitate. "Zey're gettingk avay! Shoot zem now! In ze leg! Do not kill!" You look behind you, up at the guard tower. The stallion in the tower is taking his aim with that strange rifle thing. There's a laser attached to it. You trace the line of the laser and see that it's pointing at the doctor. Looks like the guard can't see who's who in the light. Bang. The doctor gasps in pain as he's shot in the leg. He loses his balance and trips, and starts rolling down the hill. He quickly gains speed, going much, much faster than you. He hits several of the sharp rocks on the hill as he goes down. You look ahead of you again. You can see Morning Glory, Midnight Minuet, and Winter Waltz a cyan pony you don't know trying to talk the mob out of attacking the castle. Doctor von Ponington reaches the bottom of the hill and starts slowing down, and comes to a stop. You run back into town and inform Morning Glory that: 1) You need help 2) Von Ponington is injured, unconscious, and probably dead outside of town 3) You're horribly wounded 4) Seriously Morning help The smug stallion overhears point #2 and steps outside of the town. He comments that not only did you defeat the beast, you also killed the sciencepony. Excellent work. But now it's time for you to lend your talents to his movement to destroy the royal family. Moonlight tells him to go screw himself. The mob echoes this. The stallion is crestfallen. "Jack Daniels doesn't take no for an answer, ponies. You'll see. One day, ONE DAY, you'll regret this, and then you'll need me!" He walks off. Morning Glory has rejoined the party! Moonlight Minuet has joined the party! Winter Waltz has joined the party! Natural Harmonia Condition: Danger Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings Morning Glory Condition: Fine Talent: Magic Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs Moonlight Minuet
 Condition: Fine
 Talent: Princess 
Inventory (1/3): Scalpel Winter Waltz
 Condition: Fine 
Talent: Princess 
Inventory (1/4): Communicator

Oh God, Linguz, why are you bringing me into this? Doctor von Ponington is distracted by the writer's voice long enough for you to decide what you want to do here. This is entirely your call. Natural Harmonia Condition: Danger Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

He hears your attempt to be silent. A stone spike comes up from the ground next to you and grazes you. Using RPG logic, this deals absurd amounts of damage. "I bet you vant to run avay now, mein little pony!" Natural Harmonia Condition: Danger Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

Applying to colleges. Yaaaay.

You jump at him in an effort to tackle him. He hears you make the jump, and his horn glows again. A sharp wall of rock erupts from the ground between the two of you. It doesn't kill you, but it does injure you. The wall and the spikes shoot back into the ground. Natural Harmonia Condition: Caution Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

You shove your hoof into his other eye, blinding him. He asks VHY ZE HELL YOU VOULD EVEN DO ZAT! He then chuckles and says no matter. He can still HEAR you. You're not gettingk avay from him. You take a step back. He punches in that direction, narrowly missing you. His horn starts glowing again. Stone spikes erupt out of the floor dangerously close to you. Your bloodlust wears off. Your strength and agility bonuses are gone. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

You quickly roll out of the way of the chandelier, which crashes into the floor next to you. The entrance hall is not directly above a basement, and the lab's secret staircase is far from the chandelier, so no new passageways are opened as a result of the chandelier breaking through the floor. Doctor von Ponington is laughing madly, thinking the chandelier crushed you. You take advantage of this and run up to him. And poke him in the eye. But since you don't have fingers, just a hoof, you shove your hoof into his eye. Well, there goes his eye. Effectively destroyed. Shame, they were such strangely beautiful eyes. After calming down, von Ponington tells you that you should probably be runningk now. Seriously, run. You are NOT getting avay viz zis. Run ze hell avay. Zat vill make ze chase ZAT much more interestingk. His horn starts glowing. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine - Bloodlust Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

You tear the black ring off his front left leg and smash it against the ground, effectively destroying the only means of activating the earthquake machine. Destroying such a high-level piece of machinery sends Igor into a panic and your EXP bar skyrocketing. LEVEL UP! Doctor von Ponington is unfazed. This somehow makes you even more furious and you begin beating him savagely with his own broken earthquake rings. Turns out they make for a pretty good beating stick. During this, Igor runs away. After a few more seconds of flogging the doctor with his own jewelry, he decides enough is enough and tosses you off him. He quickly comes to his feet and uses his magic science to sever the chains keeping the chandelier attached to the entrance hall's ceiling. This chandelier is conveniently directly above where you are currently laying. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine - Bloodlust Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

Oh that German son of a... You are going to tear him apart. Limb from limb. He has no idea of the world of pain he's going to end up in, in just a few moments... As you're getting angrier by the moment, the doctor raises his hoof, the one with the black rings. The black rings - what you know to be the earthquake machine controller - begin to glow red. You now officially feel bloodlust. Wow! Feels good! You leap through the air and knock Doctor von Ponington off his feet. The earthquake rings stop glowing. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine - Bloodlust Talent: Protagonist Inventory (0/4):

What you are good at, though, is bucking. You toss the sword into the air and, with improbable skill, kick it through the air at the doctor. He narrowly avoids, but the sword tears through the white rings on his back leg. He loudly complains that ze thing you just destroyed vas ze controls for ze lightningk machine. NOW look vhat you've done! You ask what you've done. He says ze lightningk machine von't verk anymore unt zis ist your fault. You say good. You expected it to go haywire and destroy everything. He says oh no no no, he vouldn't dream of it. He's not ze type of scientist zat does stupid stuff like that. Zose zings alvays backfire. Just like self-destruct buttons. As you nod in agreement, his horn begins to glow and he stomps his hoof. Your sword is broken into multiple pieces. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (0/4):

I have all of the Narnia books somewhere, and I should probably read them just for the sake of reading them eventually. Can't do that now though. Because I'm reading Bloodstains and worshiping H. H. Holmes too much to bother with fairy tales. Bloodstains' author, Jeff Mudgett (Holmes' great great grandson) is bloody mental and I love it.

I would actually like to see what could possibly be done with Resident Evil 4. But mostly I'm voting for it on the off-chance it involves my beloved Salazar.

I distinctly remember enjoying Xiaolin Showdown, but I have absolutely no idea what happened after about halfway through the series since I had to stop watching for a number of reasons.