Spider's Claw

The avatar changing system is a malicious entity that gets off on our misery, clearly.

Pinkie Pie? You'd rather not. You've never been to Ponyville so you've never actually met her. Your only impression of her is that awful, terrible fanfic that you just couldn't stop reading. You decide to go down the secret staircase to Doctor von Ponington's secret lab. You suddenly wish you didn't. Nothing could have prepared you for this place. It is almost entirely white, in stark contrast to the dark gray color scheme of the castle. It is very, very well-lit, in stark contrast to the dimly lit castle. It is filled with operating tables, some of which have bloodstains. Beside each table is a cart no doubt filled with surgical tools and torture devices. You look to the other end of the room. The things over there look like three perfectly harmless large cylinders on the ground level, but from the staircase, you can see they are halfway filled with acid and the third one is pretty much filled with pony skeletons. You begin to wonder where or what Doctor von Ponington gets his inspiration from. Someone calls out to you for help. It's not the doctor. You know that voice. You know it quite well. It's your brother, the young, ill one that Doctor von Ponington supposedly cured. Looking around again, you notice him strapped to one of the operating tables against the wall. The secret door shuts behind you. You doubt Ponystein is competent enough to open it up. You're safe for now. Moonlight Minuet Condition: Fine Talent: Princess Inventory (0/3):

You leap into the air and stick your right flank out, slamming against the button. A mechanical voice calls for a password. You know just what to do. You've seen the doctor do this from time to time, and now you know why: it's how you get into his secret lab of secrecy. You spin around in circles. The wall opens. There is a staircase leading down. Ponystein is approaching. Moonlight Minuet Condition: Fine Talent: Princess Inventory (0/3):

Well, Doctor von Ponington is somewhere else in the castle and you have no desire to go find him again. But surely you can seduce Ponystein. You walk up to it and bat your eyelashes, and show a little bit of flank. Turns out you're a blank flank too. Not like you didn't know that. Before you can do anything else, it knocks you into the air and into the wall a few yards behind you merely by pushing you semi-gently with its hoof. Yeah, you're not too sure how fighting it is going to go. The force of you hitting the wall caused a framed painting to fall off the wall and onto your head. This painting was covering a secret button! Moonlight Minuet Condition: Fine Talent: Princess Inventory (0/3):

You're sure Morning Glory is still alive. She must've had the sense to run. Yes, that beautiful mare surely wouldn't walk right into the doctor's trap. She's too smart, and clever, and pretty for... What were you doing? Oh, right, leaving, yes, that's what you were doing, leaving and, uh, reuniting with Morning Glory. You run from the castle. You can hear Doctor von Ponington shouting for the guards to shoot you. Not to kill, just to incapacitate. He wanted to do a few things before killing you. Torture things. Fortunately, the guards have sucky aim! As you escape back to St. Arion, you assume the role of another character. -=-=-=You Are a Princess - A Text Adventure=-=-=- You find that you are now playing as Princess Moonlight Minuet. You ordered Natural to flee the castle, and you plan to gather your three sisters, your brother, and your parents. You were the sole member of the royal family who had doubts about Doctor von Ponington, but now he has shown multiple times that he is not only untrustworthy, but also evil, you are sure that you can convince your family to exile, arrest, or execute him. As you make your way down the halls of your castle, you notice that Ponystein is following you oh God. Moonlight Minuet Condition: Fine Talent: Princess Inventory (0/3):

You tell him no, you need to go back to St. Arion and find Midnight Morning Glory. He asks politely. He would REALLY like it if you vere in ze bag. Hey, he did ask nicely. You go back in the bag. He starts to tie it as a notification appears in your view:GOOD LISTENER Earned for taking Doctor von Ponington's advice. Moonlight Minuet pulls you out of the bag again. Since you're clearly too incompetent, she decides to take matters into her own hands. She picks up the bag and forces it over the doctor's head. He stumbles around blindly and attempts to remove it, and then starts calling for Ponystein. Moonlight says run. She's going to go get her family and get the hell out. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (0/4):

Wooden stake, what on earth are you talking about? Ah ha ha ha you threw that already, it totally isn't in your inventory! You facehoof. Earthquake machine, lightning machine, corpse reanimation machine, what else does he have? He shouts from across town that he is also building a plague machine, is in possession of more zan a few torture machines, unt probably one or two sentient killer machines of some sort. Unt also a death ray machine. Guy's like Pony Tesla. You turn to Morning Glory. You tell her we're either going to ship tease or just skip right to making out, right now. She politely declines on the grounds that she does not swing that way. You run toward one of the chasms. Morning Glory attempts to grab your tail and stop you, but she fails. You leap head-first down one of the chasms. You are beginning to wonder when you're going to land. Your thoughts are cut short when you hit a surface and black out. After some time, you wake up. You can't see anything, but you can hear voices. A young-sounding mare is asking what's in the bag. You come to the conclusion that you are what is in the bag. The pony closest to you, who you know for a fact is the sciencepony, says that ze bag contains only supplies for ze innocent sciences, unt not a cadaver nor live pony zat he intends to cut open. The mare refuses to believe him. Somepony opens up the bag. You crawl out of it. Moonlight Minuet helps you to your hooves. Doctor von Ponington politely requests you get back in ze bag so he can dissect you as originally planned. Doctor von Ponington says he vill show you ze cool machines, if you behave unt get back in ze bag. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (0/4):

You start typing in a password, which you know for a fact will give you all of the items and weapons. ERROR: PASSWORD SYSTEM NOT UNLOCKED. COMPLETE GAME FIRST. Dammit. Well, next best thing: Run, Natural, run!!!!!!!! Morning Glory grabs your tail, and then proceeds to correct you. You both make a "tactical retreat" far, far away from the scientist and his monster. "Three... two... one... ZERO!" the doctor shouts, stomping his hoof. The ground shakes violently and cracks, opening several chasms and tearing down houses unfortunate enough to be caught in the radius of the earthquake. Oh sweet Pony Jesus he has an earthquake machine. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Wooden Stake Morning Glory Condition: Caution Talent: Magic Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

Counting on wallpapers existing soon. There are so many things in this flash that I would love to use as my wallpaper.

I thought Lords of Shadow, like all of the other 3D games in the series, was dull and uninteresting. Now I'm still eagerly awaiting another game. I miss Castlevania, and I've already played III, Symphony, and Aria to death. I need a new thing to play with.

One must always stand up to injustice.

I haven't been this happy in years. Really? REALLY? I have to bump this? I thought one of you guys would've had this covered since CASCADE dropped today. That said, Cascade is one of my favorite things ever now.

You politely ask that the sun move a tiiiiny bit faster. It does. THE MORNING SUN HAS VANQUISHED THE HORRIBLE NIGHT. Unfortunately, the morning sun has not vanquished the horrible Ponystein and Doctor. They are advancing on you. You've managed to convince a small group of braver ponies to come from their homes. They all begin throwing rocks at von Ponington and the creature. The creature seems unharmed by the rocks, while Doctor von Ponington uses magic to deflect any rocks that might be coming in his direction. You throw the broken wooden stake at the monster, hoping said stake will function like a throwing knife and lodge itself in the beast and kill it. The monster is hit in the face with the rounded, cylindrical part of the stake rather than the sharp ends. Whoops! Doctor von Ponington decides this has gone on long enough. Lightning strikes and his horn begins to glow. He raises his hoof and the ground begins to shake. The black rings on his front hoof glow a soft red. Ponystein slowly turns its head toward its master, unsure of what's happening. The doctor begins counting down. "Ten... nein nine... eight... seven..." You're not too sure what's going to happen when he gets to zero. All you know is the pony militia has once again abandoned you. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Wooden Stake Morning Glory Condition: Caution Talent: Magic Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

lol norton Like I said, find some way to destroy said controls or otherwise take over the laptop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qC3SlEk3bA8

Take said controls off.

It pretty much became just the Food thread.

I was expecting this story to end in tragedy, seeing as Murphy's Law never fails. Since there were no monsters around, there is only one logical conclusion: they are currently plotting against you and will soon raid your house. Also: when I get my computer back, it's high time I started a new project. Maybe if we get a server for this forum. I'm thinkin' something inspired by H. H. Holmes' murder castle.

You flee down the hill and manage to catch Morning Glory before she suffers any serious damage from colliding with any of the large rocks on the hill while rolling down it. The two of you run back to St. Arion and try to convince the townsponies to come out again. Surely one of them can fight. And if not, all of them can fight together. This Ponystein couldn't win against all of St. Arion. Ponystein and Doctor von Ponington are following, but slowly. They're about halfway down the hill. The sun is finally beginning to rise after three and a half pages of night. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Wooden Stake Morning Glory Condition: Caution Talent: Magic Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

Because he is without a soul.

Maybe the creation will be friendly. Maybe you can be nice to it and, with the magic of friendship, you can turn the monster on its master and make your job a thousand times easier. You tell the beast you aren't going to fight it. Morning Glory tries to convince it that, should it betray Doctor von Ponington, it would be regarded as a hero. Besides, the doctor is probably an abusive master. The creature ignores both of you. The creature suddenly charges with surprising quickness, right into Morning Glory. She is tossed from the hilltop and sent tumbling down the hill. "So now vhat? NOW are you goingk to run? Vitness ze power of ze great Ponystein!" Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Wooden Stake Morning Glory Condition: Caution Talent: Magic Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

After numerous suggestions, you come up with one you like. A pretty name. A fitting one. An oasis in a sea of somewhat unfitting names. Morning Glory. She likes it. Coincidentally, it is her actual name. What luck! You tell everybody to chill out. Morning Glory is cool. She's not going to kill anyone. She's not a vampire. It's that evil, dastardly scientist in the castle that put her up to this. One by one, the villagers come out of their homes and hiding places. Morning Glory explains that Doctor von Ponington kidnapped her family and forced her to kidnap the poor, unfortunate ponies of St. Arion. She explains that if the village wants to be safe again, everypony must storm the castle and, one way or the other, get rid of the doctor. Some convincing later, the townspeople have rallied and started their journey to the hilltop, where they would proceed to break down the castle doors, march to the laboratory, and kick that sciencepony's behind. You and Morning Glory take the lead. You reach the top of the hill. The large doors of the castle swing open. Two ponies walk outside. One of them is the doctor. The other... The other is best described as a monstrosity stitched together from the parts of multiple ponies, all of varying colors. This pony is not wearing a cape or coat at all, so you can see its cutie mark, if you could call it that. Apparently the doctor didn't like the cutie mark of the pony he murdered for that part of his creation's body, and chose to cut that part of the flank away and replace it with another pony's hide. This cutie mark was rather simplistic: a crude drawing of Doctor von Ponington's stupid pretentious glasses. The patchwork pony advances on the crowd. In under ten seconds, the entire population of St. Arion fled back to the town and went back to hiding in their homes. You and Morning Glory stand your ground. This might be an incredibly stupid idea! Von Ponington agrees. Natural Harmonia Condition: Fine Talent: Protagonist Inventory (1/4): Broken Wooden Stake Morning Glory Condition: Fine Talent: Magic Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

I'm a lefty and I love it because it makes me even more special. Coincidentally, my idol, H. H. Holmes, was apparently a lefty. Hell yes.

Yeah Civ is pretty rad.