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TailsIsNotAlone

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  1. TailsIsNotAlone
    ~What's with~ ~everypony~ ~putting weird symbols~ around their names and/or calling themselves ~Chaotic Somebody~? It was cool when Harmony and Discord were doing it, now it's just getting old.
     
    Yep, that about sums it up really. I would expect it on another board but it just looks silly here. Reminds me of an old (bad) forum I was on when everybody became obsessed with the word "ocelet."
  2. TailsIsNotAlone
    So I've heard a few members around here, the highly respected CronaTheCritic and others, say they're disappointed in a perceived lack of "love and tolerance" in the fandom and they don't identify with other bronies like they used to. I understand why they might feel that way, but at the same time, I think a lot of us don't know how lucky we are to have this place.
     
    Do I agree with everybody here? No. Have I run into a few members that made me happy to have an Ignore feature? Sure. Is "love and tolerate" an anachronistic meme, not a goal or an obligation? Fortunately, yes. Otherwise it wouldn't be so special when somepony goes out of their way to say something nice to me or brohoof a post I thought no one would like. What makes that stuff so valuable around here is the fact that it's not expected of us. We do it because we want to. And what's why I love you guys, because you go out of your way to be respectful and nice, and you inspire those things in me.
     
    I am being 100% honest when I say this is the best community I've ever been a part of. Since I first trotted onto the Internet almost eight years ago, I have stumbled across some ornery, mean-spirited and downright awful groups. I was on a pro wrestling forum with a lot of good people, but it wasn't a fun atmosphere. Everyone thought they were smarter than everyone else and I didn't even know how bad it was until I came here. And this one Final Fantasy board that shall not be named...how do I describe it?
     

    (I couldn't find a meme like this. I had to make it myself in Photobucket.)
     
    I won't post any examples from there for the sake of good taste and the rules, but my point is, this is the Internet, and we're in one of best parts of it. It gets so much worse than the occasional meanie you see here.
     
    When you don't take the community too seriously--and I try not to--it's much easier to accept everything that comes with it. When you focus on the show, the good vibes will always drown out the bad.
  3. TailsIsNotAlone
    *In a dream. But please, don't let the shameless false advertising in the title stop me from sharing this totally loony story with you.
     
    It's so ridiculous I have to type it out before going back to sleep, or I'll forget it or stop believing I ever had it. It also must be related in full detail, making it a bit too long for the "What Are Your Dreams" thread but ideal for a blog, so here it is.
     
    I was over at a relative's house. My aunt and uncle's place , to be precise. It looked exactly like my grandparent's, at least on the inside, but different outside. So for whatever reason, they were having someone staying over with them for a night or so: THE POPE. Yes. Pope Benedict XVI is my aunt and uncle's houseguest. I don't know why, but he is.
     
    So as my dream went, the relatives were all gone doing whatever it is they do, and I was still there. Well, I thought, I'm not religious at all. In fact, I left Catholicism long ago because my private school sucked and I was tired of hitting intellectual brick walls everywhere I turned. But if you had an opportunity to see and talk to the Pope in person at your aunt's house, would you pass it up?
     
    So I go downstairs to the guest room he was staying in (the same one I once used after moving out of my parents' and before I got an apartment). And there he is, standing in the doorway in full regalia. He looks just like he does on TV, except a little bigger and somehow more...not sure how to say it. There's just something faintly sinister about him. (Or maybe I always thought that. Look at his picture. You can't tell me this man is not evil.)
     
    Naturally I'm a little nervous. I figure you're supposed to bow or something, so I do just to get on his good side. "Er, Your Eminence...I'm sorry for disturbing you, but may I ask you one question?"
     
    "Why, certainly, sonny," the Pope says kindly.
     
    "I'm sure you hear this all the time," I say carefully as he discards his outer robe and seats himself casually on the carpet. "But...what's it like being the Pope?"
     
    "I'll tell you," he replies, "But first you have to come over here and sit on my knee."
     
    "Um...okay." Gee, that's weird. I'm a grown man and he wants me to sit on his lap? But I go over and do it anyway, since it's a dream and you kind of have to go where your mind takes you. I never could manage that lucid dreaming stuff...but it would have come in handy here, because as soon as I'm sitting on his knee, the Holy Father does something very bizarre...
     
    He makes a pass at me.
     
    I don't remember what he says, just that it's gross and I get the hell off his knee. This is even more uncomfortable to write about than it is to read, folks.
     
    "Hold on," the Pope says, and now he's looking more sinister and crazy with each passing second. "Don't you want an answer to your question?!" And he reaches behind the bed and pulls out a speargun.
     

     
    Like the kind you would use against big fish in the water or something. Except there are no fish around, only me, and this innocent scenario is taking a highly unwelcome turn into dark comedy.
     
    Laughing crazily, His Unholiness fires. The first spear misses me and splinters the closet door I'm standing next to. "What the f*** is wrong with you?!" I scream as he fires the second spear into the ceiling above me. I'm standing like 15 feet away, so he must not be a very good shot, but I have to get away from him just the same. The third shot goes into the wall where I was standing; I'm already racing up the stairs and into the living room. I run out the front door and lock it behind me.
     
    I know no one in my family will believe this, but as I run, I realize there's one thing I have to do, even if I have no idea why. The Pope isn't athletic enough to pursue me, but he's still in there and still dangerous. I quickly find a friend of my cousin's and get a spare set of keys off him. "What do you need them for?" he asks. "I can't tell you. You'd never believe it," I answer. I run back to the house, unlock the front door, eye the living room to make sure no homicidal religious leaders are waiting for me...and I sneak out their big flat-screen TV.
     
    At that point, my dog started whining and the dream ended. Yep. So THIS horrible near-death experience is the first dream that I remember in months, and I will never be able to see Pope Benedict in the paper or on television again without thinking of it.
     
    Hallelujah. 
    I never would've had a dream like this about Pius IX or John XXIII...they just don't make Popes like they used to.
     
     
    "I have as much authority as the Pope...I just don't have as many people who believe it."
    --George Carlin, 1937-2008
  4. TailsIsNotAlone
    Greetings everyone, this is Tails the Lyra fan and occasional grammar Nazi. I am taking five minutes out of my day to teach you a spelling lesson that will last a lifetime, because I care and I don't want us to look foalish anymore. Ready? Here it is.
     
     
     
    can·on
    noun
    1.
    an ecclesiastical rule or law enacted by a council or other competent authority and, in the Roman Catholic Church, approved by the pope.
    2.
    the body of ecclesiastical law.
    3.
    the body of rules, principles, or standards accepted as axiomatic and universally binding in a field of study or art: the neoclassical canon.
     
     
    can·non
    noun, plural can·nons ( especially collectively ) can·non, verb noun
    1.
    a mounted gun for firing heavy projectiles; a gun, howitzer, or mortar.
    2.
    British Machinery , quill ( def 10 ) .
    3.
    Armor. a cylindrical or semicylindrical piece of plate armor for the upper arm or forearm; a vambrace or rerebrace.
     
     
    There. Five minutes on Websters.com clears up a mistake about 50% of bronies have been making for years. The events and rules of the show are canon. The only cannon on My Little Pony, however, is Pinkie Pie's party cannon. Got it? I don't want to read the term "headcannon" ever again, unless you have one of these.
     

     
    As you were, fillies and gentlecolts.
  5. TailsIsNotAlone

    CUPCAEKS 2

    By TailsIsNotAlone,

    Don't mind me, I just felt like parodying Cupcakes AND bad fanfiction in general. Basically going against everything that was posted in the Fanfiction Writing Guide posted by Dawn Rider.
    http://mlpforums.com/topic/52513-ezns-fanfiction-writing-guide/?view=getnewpost
    Enjoy.
     
    cupcaeks v2
    by tailsisnotalone
    omg hello fluttershy said pinkie pie. she was jumping up and down alot while flutter shy just looked at her to shy to say anything. um h-hi p-pinkie p-pie if thats ok she finally said shuffling a hoof nervosly on the floor. oh thats totally alright flutters you can always say hello to me, i love it when other ponies say hello! said pinkie. And especially when they let me lure them down into the basement and lock the door behind them that is just my favorite thing because then we can play the BEST games. you locked the door? asked fluttershy. now now dont be a shypie said pinkie cuz this is going to be fun! out of nowhere she pulled out a huge butchr knife. sorry said fluttershy i know your secret your not rly pinkie pie your sgt sprinkles who wrote the first cupcakes story. and your projecting your sick fantasys into a cartoon character when you rly shood be getting mental help. dawwwwwr ur no fun! said pinkie/sgt. ok enough now bgone evil fanfic writer spirit shouted fluttershy giving her the stare. pinkie fell over frothing at the mouth then got up and blinked. wow she said, what happened? an example of a rly bad fanfic said flutters shy, plus tailsisnotalone felt like makeing fun of cupcakes. thats rite i did said tails from out of no where. plus i have my own fantasy to deal with. you sure do said rainbow dash get over here. and she kissed him
    the end
  6. TailsIsNotAlone
    Alfonzo's Most Attractive Pony Tournament continues with the Magic Bowl. Vote here! http://mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013-conference-championships/
    And check out last week's Wildcard results here.
    http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2609-full-wild-card-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    Next week's Conference Title results are here!
    http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2910-full-conference-championship-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
     
    Wardrobe Malfunction
    Dozens of bronies rushed to see the most high-profile matchup of the week. For the first time, one Mane 6 met another in the playoffs, and the game did not disappoint. The most fashionable mare in Equestria came in with confidence, strong fan support and a great deal of momentum. But as Fluttershy proved this week, kindness is never out of fashion.
    “Oh, I…I, um, I didn’t really do much,” the pink-haired Pegasus whispered into the microphone. “I mean, I think Rarity is much prettier than I am. But, um, thank you very much…eep!” She caught sight of the camera and retreated into her cottage, ending the interview.

    Some things never change.
     
    But Fluttershy was anything but passive in the polls, which tied up and switched sides repeatedly before finally shifting in her favor. Rarity held on for days, but eventually a win was out of reach, sending her back to Carousel Boutique for the season.
    The exquisite pony was gracious in defeat. “I am very happy for Fluttershy, darlings! …Very happy. We all know a natural beauty when we see one, don’t we? Yes, of course. She deserved to win. And I do have work to do on the next spring fashions, you know!”

    This fashionista will no doubt remain a showstopper in next year’s tournament.
     
    Though she shrugged off the loss to reporters, Rarity seemed reluctant to depart, sitting silently with a few of the animals and a small dragon long after the sun had set on the meadow.
    FLUTTERSHY, 106-90
     
     
    Octavia Fiddles, Spitfire Burns
    There was more than one upset in the Divisional round. As the most popular mare in the Wonderbolts and head trainer in their prestigious academy, Spitfire soared to the number one seed in the Pony Friendship Conference. But as she learned this week, dive-bombing the weakest division in Equestria and succeeding in the playoffs are two different things.

    Spitfire’s loss leaves Fluttershy as the only Pegasus in the playoffs.
     
    The Pegasus’ dazzling regular season and Octavia’s hard-fought wild card berth led some to underestimate the beautiful musician. But when a close fight in the first few days developed into a steady lead for the underpony, all doubts of her competence were erased.

    After two eye-opening wins, this pony has earned her rest.
     
    Octavia was as calm and composed as ever following the battle. “I am pleased that my appearances are so appreciated by so many. I was looking forward to facing my old rival Rarity once more, but I see that won’t be possible. Whatever the case, I do not intend for next week to be my final performance.”
    Oddly enough, Octavia was taken home from Cloudsdale in a hot air balloon by none other than Twilight Sparkle, one of her potential opponents should she reach the Magic Bowl.
    “What happens, happens. You can’t win ‘em all, you know?” Spitfire said quietly. “Can’t let it get you down.”
    With that she marched briskly back into the Wonderbolts Academy, barking out orders in a very different voice.
    OCTAVIA, 107-89
     
     
    Twilight Gets ‘A’ for Attractive
    “Dear Princess Celestia,” Twilight dictated to Spike following the game, “This week I learned a very valuable lesson about friendship. I learned that—”
    “ ‘Humans like to stare at my plot?’ ” muttered her dragon assistant.
    “What was that?!”
    “Um, nothing!”
    It may have sounded like just another day at the Ponyville Library, but the fanfare outside made it anything but. Ponies from all over town gathered for a grade-A Pinkie Pie party to celebrate the Element of Magic’s win.

    In Twilight’s case, attractiveness was magic.
     
    A matchup that looked difficult for top DJ Vinyl Scratch turned out to be exactly that. Scratch never stopped the music, but Princess Celestia’s number-one student reeled in nearly twice as many votes to secure the most comfortable victory of the week. She goes on to face unlikely contender Lyra Heartstrings in the EFC Championship.

    ‘DJPon3’ is eliminated but not forgotten.
     
    “I’ll talk to you later, okay guys?” an exhausted Scratch said, finally putting down her headphones. “I’ve got a killer headache.”
    TWILIGHT, 125-71
     
     
     
    The Last Round-Up

    Applejack bids her fans goodbye—for now.
     
    It was eerily similar to last week. The stage was all set for a home victory at Sweet Apple Acres. All the luminaries from Feld0 on down came out to vote for Applejack, along with a legion of her fans. Pictures were fired off like bullets, jokes were made, and words of doubt and disbelief were flung at the unlikely challenger.
    But when the dust settled, Lyra walked out with another victory. The race was close and intense, every bit the knock-down drag-out fight as the game with Dash. The brilliant unicorn overcame an initial rush from AJ and rode a slim lead for three days. Applejack finally caught up and overtook her by three votes on Sunday, but Lyra stormed back to cement an impressive win.
    When the Most Attractive Pony Tournament began, few bronies even considered Lyra Heartstrings to be a real contender. Those who did saw her stuck in a division dominated by Twilight Sparkle and likely to be warming the bench, no pun intended.

    The Minty One’s unbelievable quest continues.
     
    A lot can happen in two weeks. Carried by a massive outpouring of fan support, the background pony has upset two of the Mane 6 in two weeks and turned the playoff scene upside down on her way to the EFC Championship.
    “I can’t believe this is happening,” the unicorn gushed in a post-game interview. “That settles it. I’m going to the human world so I can meet all these people who are voting for me! I just have to find out how. Maybe Twilight will have some ideas! Hee hee!”
    “Don’t be feeling sorry for me, you hear?” Applejack said after the loss. “I’m not one to cry over spilled cider. I’ll just work harder next season. And speaking of cider…gather round, everypony! A toast to the audience!”
    The game was lost, but the Apple family still has plenty to celebrate.
    LYRA, 105-91
  7. TailsIsNotAlone
    Lyra 'Bowls' Over MLP Forums
     
    It was just another Saturday in the big city. A river of vehicles crawled and honked their way through the streets. Teenagers with allergies in the dozens and noses in their smart phones shuffled down the sidewalk. A 30-ish man looking down on his luck made a beeline for the nearest bench where he sat every day.
     
    To its inhabitants, this tired tableau of human civilization was nothing special. But it was the most amazing thing that Lyra Heartstrings had ever seen.
     
     

    From where Lyra sits, all of us are winners.
     
    “Hey,” the man on the bench nodded slowly as a very cute and very strange creature sat down beside him. “You got a light?”
     
    “Why sure, Mr. Human!” the unicorn replied. Her horn flared up and glowed incandescently.
     
    “Holy ****,” said the man.
     
    The rest of Lyra's memorable debut in the human world and how she became an anthropology professor and/or escaped from scientists and/or was elected President is too long to relate here. What matters is that to reach our world, Lyra had to go through Fluttershy in the inaugural Magic Bowl--and that she did.
     
    For once, it wasn't close. The mint-colored mare who had galloped furiously from one tough race to the next scored a comfortable victory.
     
    Fluttershy's supporters had seen their pony in a tough situation before, as dozens of voters gave her opponent a huge early lead in the PFC Championship. The same thing happened in the Magic Bowl--except here, the deficit was too large for Shy to make up. At one point she had cut Lyra's lead of over 40 votes to just 23, but it was as close as the game would get.

    At long last, the oft-ignored background pony has her moment of glory.
     
    Lyra rode a dizzying wave of fan support through most of the final round, bidding a fond farewell to the appreciative crowd in Ponyville. "I'll be back, everypony, I promise! I just have to see all these awesome creatures who got me here. And now I finally will! Hee hee...I love them!" She stepped into a mysterious machine branded with Twilight's cutie mark, and was gone--but now, never to be forgotten.
     
    "Oh, um, it's all right that I didn't win," Fluttershy said bashfully to reporters. "Just being the second most attractive pony in Equestria is very nice. And the animals made me train so hard just to get here, I was kind of exhausted. Angel is such a tough coach. But maybe next time it will be different..." the shy pegasus trailed off slightly. The sun went briefly behind a cloud, and the air grew heavy and oppressive. "Maybe next time...everypony...and every human...is going to love me."
     

    Mommy... 
     
    But this dark moment was over as soon as it began. "So, anypony want to help me feed the animals?" Fluttershy chirped.
     
    Four weeks ago, you couldn’t have found one brony willing to bet that the first-ever Most Attractive Pony tournament would end with the announcement “Lyra Heartstrings, Magic Bowl Champion.” A mediocre contender stuck in the same division with the main character of the show, Lyra’s playoff prospects were doubtful, and her chances of beating a Mane 6 head-to-head improbable.
     
    But the love of bronies can accomplish just about anything, and thanks to them the unicorn blazed a trail through the most hostile territory, overcoming four Mane 6 ponies to reach the championship. The feat is unprecedented and unlikely to be repeated by any background pony in the future. Lyra's journey has culminated in her greatest moment on MLP Forums, and proven that beauty is not in popularity, but the eye of the beholder.
    LYRA, 108-83
     
    Other stories this week:
    The Lyra Phenomenon: An Exclusive Interview With TailsIsNotAlone--Sunday Feb. 10, 8pm Eastern at http://livestream.com/theloyalbrony (No, seriously)
    ~Chaotic Discord~ Out With Concussion: Excessive Facepalming the Culprit
    Hasbro Shuts Down Most Attractive Pony Tournament for 2014: CEO: "You've had your fun kids, now get lost..."
     
     
    Want to know how the rest of the tournament went? Recaps of all the matches are here:
    Conference Championships, 1/30: http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2910-full-conference-championship-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    Divisional Round, http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2743-full-divisional-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    Wild Card Round, http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2609-full-wild-card-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
     
    And check out the massive 53-page MAPT thread here:
    http://mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/page-53
  8. TailsIsNotAlone
    Psych. It's been a while since I posted a serious blog and I think the time is right. ^^
     
    When is a house no longer a home? I guess that's different for everybody--my house is a tiny apartment, for example. Maybe it's when you have new neighbors who make too much noise. Maybe it's when you look outside and realize most of the people you knew around here have moved away. Or maybe it's when you just can't afford to live there anymore. -_-
     
    I was so desperate to get out of my old job that I quit before I found a new one. Full-time work has eluded me since then, and the only thing between me and the curb was the generosity of my family. Fortunately they came through; my brother is letting me stay with him for a while, so on Sunday I'm moving back to St. Paul. I've already found a job there, so things are looking up!
     

     
    I had it pretty good for a while holed up in Rochester, just me and the ponies. If things hadn't happened this way, I may never have discovered the show. But now I'm off to start a new chapter of my life. My brother doesn't even know I'm a brony. I imagine I'll have to tell him. I guess we'll see how it goes!
     
    But rest assured I will still be here to worship Lyra, post cute pony pictures and criticize Twilicorn.
     
    I can't think of anything more to say, so here's a picture of Quinn angering Daria.

  9. TailsIsNotAlone
    PSYCH.
    Yeah, you know I'm not that guy.
    But I have a point here. Why do we keep seeing discussions like this?
     
    Being a brony is the best thing that's ever happened to many of us. It started a new chapter of my life, a much happier one. There's not one of us here that doesn't enjoy being a part of all this, watching the show and seeing the work it's inspired (whether Hasbro likes it or not xD).
     
    So why the constant rumor-mongering and debates about stuff that hasn't happened yet? Why repeat every negative thing people say about us? We're fans, not tabloid journalists. One of the reasons Lauren Faust created My Little Pony was to transcend that kind of cynicism.
     
    Have we? And if we fail to do so as fans, how much are we really appreciating the show and its message?
     
    Something to chew on.

  10. TailsIsNotAlone
    View the final round, the Magic Bowl, here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-3094-magic-bowl-recap-and-the-most-attractive-pony-is/
    And review last week's Divisional results here. http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2743-full-divisional-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
     
    Kindness Flutters On
     
    “Fillies and gentlecolts,” Mayor Mare announced grandly, “Allow me to introduce the winner of the PFC Championship game and one of two ponies going on to the very first Magic Bowl…the only cellist in Ponyville!”
    “Um…excuse me…”
    “Truly this is a most auspicious day for our elegant gray earth pony, one of Equestria’s greatest musicians…” The clueless politician continued.
    “Um—actually…”
    “…Whose melodious journey through the Most Attractive Pony Tournament is clearly just beginning. Without further ado, here is—”
    “EXCUSE ME!” a yellow Pegasus burst out. Mayor Mare jumped in surprise, as did the entire crowd.
    “Um, oh, I’m very sorry. But…you made a mistake. It’s just that, if you look at the votes, I think, um…actually, I won…if that’s okay.”
    The mayor took another look at the scoreboard. “…Why, of course you did, dear! As I was saying, here is the conference winner, FLUTTERSHY!”

    The mayor’s new spectacles will be arriving shortly.
     
    Anypony who had voted within the first two days and not checked the poll since would be equally surprised.
    Coming off convincing upsets over Pinkie Pie in the wildcard and Spitfire in the divisional, Octavia jumped out to a huge double-digit lead early in the game. Fans applauded with delight as her music rose through the arena and into the heavens.
    As it turned out, the crescendo came too early.
    Over the next few days, Fluttershy rose to great heights of her own. For a while she was nearly an afterthought in her own game, but “the bunny whisperer” refused to give up. She tied Octavia in the second half, and finally surpassed her to score another win.
    Fluttershy’s strong playoff standing was clearly no coincidence, as she will meet Lyra Heartstrings this week for the Celestial Trophy.
    “Oh, um…you don’t have to interview me,” the relentlessly cute Element said bashfully. “Besides, I have to rush home! Angel gets so upset if his tail isn’t fluffed properly.”

    The elegant cellist went diminuendo, but not al niente.
     
    Octavia was disappointed, but graceful in defeat. “Worry not, everypony,” she said after the game. “This was only my first approach at greatness. I have many more performances yet to come before my final symphony.”
    She left the field with a cadre of other musical ponies, a mint green unicorn among them.
    FLUTTERSHY, 123-100
     
     
     
    Playing With the Angels
     
    Background ponies simply don’t make it this far.
    The kind of shock and excitement that rocked Ponyville this week only comes with a Sonic Rainboom, or a new apple-bucking record—or a thrilling magic duel. This time, it came from the Cinderella story of Lyra Heartstrings.

    ‘My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and you will remember me...’
     
    An inspiring tale of upset victories in Cloudsdale and Sweet Apple Acres was expected to end at Ponyville Library in the EFC Championship. And it nearly did as Lyra’s dominating division rival took an early lead. For a while it took everything she had just to stay one step behind. As the days wore on, the natural advantage of Twilight Sparkle seemed impossible to overcome.
    But as ponies and bronies alike can testify, nothing is impossible in this tournament.
    Twilight swept the anthropologist (and her entire division) in the regular season. But this was a new game and a new Lyra, and she proved it by gaining a 3-vote lead as the second half began. The 'mane' character struck back, and at one point led the match by 6. Knowing better than anypony that the “clock was ticking,” she tried to hold her lead—but the pony no one was betting on made one last charge and held on for another improbable win.

    Twilight wasn’t the only one unprepared for the outcome.
     
    “Oh, well!” the purple prodigy exclaimed, her left eye twitching only slightly. “I sure didn’t plan for this…but I guess that’s just how it goes! I just wasn’t able to stand between Lyra and all her good friends! Spike! Where did I go wrong?! Was it my mark? My eyes? My tail?” She looked at it and gasped in horror. “Oh Celestia, I think a strand was out of place!!”
    The baby dragon shook his head and sighed. “Come on, Twilight. Let’s go to the spa. It’ll make you feel better! And I can see Rarity…” He led Twilight gently away from the library.
    Lyra rises above all expectations only to climb the highest mountain—a daunting task, especially without hands. Reporters found her camped out at the edge of Fluttershy’s field the night before the first Magic Bowl, awaiting her final test.
    “One more game and then I’m off. The humans are calling me—I know they are. Research just isn’t enough anymore. I have to see them! Twilight was really helpful even though she didn’t win. I think she’s found a way for me to visit the human world at last!” Lyra paused.
    “It’s going to be a tough one, isn’t it? But I’m not afraid. I knew it all along—if I believed in them, one day, they would believe in me.”
    The EFC Champion took out her lyre, looked up at the stars, and began to play.
     
    LYRA, 118-105
  11. TailsIsNotAlone
    First and foremost, if you are new here, welcome welcome welcome! It's wonderful to see more My Little Pony fans joining every day, even better when they stick around and add their energy to the forums. I hope it lasts forever.
     
    With that said, here's some helpful advice from a more experienced member: 5 things all new members should know about MLP Forums!
     
    1. The character limit is a good thing.
    It may seem annoying at first, but we're not texting here. The limit is there to encourage discussion and discourage comments that don't add anything constructive to a topic, like "I agree," "k thx," "lolwut" and "tl;dr." Complaining about the character limit makes a poor first impression.
     
    2. RP-posting is not original.
    You know the kind of thing I mean: introducing yourself as your OC pony. Stuff like HI IM CRIMSON DEATHSNORT THE ALICORN GOD OF PONY DEATH. I TAKE PONIES TO TARTARUS AND IVE DATED LUNA. WORSHIP ME & I MAY SPAR UR LIVES! It's been done, many times. We'd rather get to know the real you.
     
    3. Greet other newbs!
    Don't be shy about welcoming someone else to a place you've just arrived at. It's a great show of solidarity and friendship, and that's what My Little Pony is all about! And don't be afraid to explore the board either. Try every section. You'll definitely find something you like.
     
    4. Post for respect, not attention.
    Gimmicks won't do much for you on MLP Forums. Let's face it, they're not very interesting and we've seen 'em all. The all caps/bold/italics, typing in dialect ('ah sure am happy to be meetin y'all'), squicky avatars etc, the guy who's been on too many Youtube comment pages and can't go 3 posts without talking about *insert controversial topic here.* We have a sense of humor (esp. in Cloudsdale Commons) but the important thing is what you actually have to say. That's why smart cookies like Kyronea can take a topic to the next level with one post, but a one-sentence joke or meme is forgotten in minutes.
     
    5. This is not just another board.
    It's better. Better organized, better atmosphere, better contributions. And that's the most important point. I've been on a lot of forums and many were kind of cynical or shallow, with too many trolls or members constantly bickering. Don't worry, this place is different. We are a welcoming and accepting community. Liking MLP doesn't just put us in the same place; it draws us all closer together. We really read what you say. Take the things you learned from the show and let them be your guide, and you will make friends here! Don't be afraid to tell us your stories and express an honest opinion.
     
    And that's all the advice I have for our new joiners, at least while sober. Welcome and pony on!
  12. TailsIsNotAlone
    Rarity Outshines the Sunset
     

    Everypony's favorite fashionista patiently awaits her next challenge.
     

    Prior to the playoffs, Sunset Shimmer promised her growing fan base that she would win the Celestial Trophy and return to the human realm. She would keep only one of those promises.
     
    Supremely confident after a convincing win over Princess Celestia in the wild card, the mysterious antagonist ran straight into a wall of "fabulosity" as Rarity reminded everypony why she was the #1 seed in the league. Shimmer's appealing design and eye-catching colors could only do so much against the quintessential attractive pony.
     
    Rarity was all business in her postgame remarks. "I had an adequate performance. There are still some wrinkles to smooth out, but I promise that my next game plan shall be a flawless design! Sunset Shimmer was quite the interesting opponent and I'm sure we're going to see more of her."
     

    Sunset Shimmer reevaluates her future plans.
     

    "It's not fair!" Shimmer fumed in her locker room. "This thing was mine! I was supposed to show up Twilight Sparkle on her own turf. This isn't over yet, Princess."
     
    When asked if she was worried about facing her nemesis Fluttershy, who defeated her in the 2013 M.A.P. Tournament as well as the 2014 World Cup, Rarity replied, "Au contraire, darlings! I am simply thrilled every time I have the chance to meet a wonderful pony like her in friendly competition. It's no surprise that so many spectators like Fluttershy as much as I do. I go into this game as I do every other: with an expectation to win."
     
    RARITY, 117-73
     
     
     
    When the Music Stops
     
    Rarity was not the only one who left the divisional round with a monkey on her back. Just as Pinkie Pie was unable to defeat Octavia in two tries, Octavia herself was unable to surpass Fluttershy in their 2015 rematch.
     
    Even the details of the game evoked some deja vu: Octavia started out strong in the first half, then was slowly but surely overcome by a rising tide of Fluttershy votes. The elegant musician's failure to finish off a strong Mane 6 leaves her right back where she started, but just as before, a loss to the timid pegasus is nothing to be ashamed of.
     

    "They're all going to love me..."
     

    "Oh my goodness. I'm so happy that I was able to win!" Fluttershy exclaimed to the Ponyville press. "I think Octavia is such a beautiful pony, and I'm grateful to have an opponent that inspires me to be the very best I can be."
     
    Despite Fluttershy's unfailing kindness, her ability to overcome almost any odds makes her a most dangerous opponent. Undefeated but for a loss to Lyra Heartstrings in the first Magic Bowl, she flutters on to face Rarity--the only pony standing between her and a return trip.
     

    Octavia must compose a new strategy for the future.
     

    Octavia did not answer questions after the game, but the sad solo she played on her cello said it all. Always gracious in victory, Fluttershy was among those who stayed behind and listened as each note spread throughout the Everfree Forest.
     
    FLUTTERSHY, 107-83
     
     
     
    Twilight Steals Dash's Thunder
     

    Dash remains winless in the M.A.P. playoffs.
     

    Thinking of what to ask a pony whose season has just ended is never easy. But with Rainbow Dash, it was unnecessary. Before any reporter in the locker room could get a word out, she was already talking.
     
    "I don't get it!! Since when is being awesome, extreme, and amazing not attractive?! I mean, Twilight's my friend and I guess she's pretty good-looking--but I wore a parasprite bikini, people! Do you have any idea how those things itch?!"
     
    Her distress is understandable. The Element of Loyalty had an even better season than she did in 2013, winning a first-round bye while forcing such heavy hitters as Trixie, Lyra, and Twilight Sparkle herself into the wild card round. But ultimately, the result for Rainbow was the same: one and done. Though she fought hard through the entire game, the mane character maintained control and never relinquished her lead.
     

    Twilight shows that awesomeness is relative.
     

    "I don't have time to celebrate! There's still so much to do," Princess Twilight fretted, sounding very much like her old self. "First I have to smooth things over with Rainbow, then I have to wish Princess Luna good luck in our game, and I have to report to Princess Celestia about my progress, and then I have to write a letter to Cadence, and..."
     
    The to-do list continued long after every reporter had left the library. But one thing stood out: Luna. Twilight moves on to a dynamite EFC Championship game against one of the strongest opponents she has ever faced, and the first match ever to pit her against a fellow princess.
     
    TWILIGHT, 113-77
     
     
     
    Dark Side of the Moon
     
    There are decisive victories, there are blowouts, and then there are games that make fans wonder what one of the contenders was even doing there. Unfortunately for Princess Cadence, her divisional match against Princess Luna was that kind of game--and she was that contender.
     
    After pulling off a squeaker over Trixie in the wild card that raised a few question marks around her playoff run, Cadence did little to reassure the brony audience in her next matchup. Night fell so swiftly over Canterlot Castle that the game itself was almost obscured, but the results were crystal clear. For a first-time competitor in the M.A.P. Tournament, Luna looked unstoppable--and sounded like it, too.
     

    This princess knows how to make an entrance.
     

    "LOYAL SUBJECTS!" she bellowed, forcing many a seasoned sportswriter to drop their cameras and clamp their hooves over their ears. "IT WAS WITH GREAT PRIDE THAT WE MET A FELLOW PONY OF ROYALTY IN HONORABLE BATTLE. WE GRATEFULLY ACCEPT...er, pardon me. I gratefully accept your support. I must now retreat to prepare for the next challenge."
     
    Luna's dominating performance sets a new record for most lopsided win in M.A.P. Tournament history, surpassing Rarity's 109-39 defeat of Cloud Chaser in 2013.
     

    Love hurts.
     

    "Oh, well..." Cadence trailed off glumly in her post-game interview. "It may be a difficult loss, but it's still better than being imprisoned underground by those vile Changelings. And nearly losing the Crystal Empire to King Sombra. And having my name constantly misspelled. And..."
     
    LUNA, 134-56
     
     
     
    See a recap of the Conference Championships and Magic Bowl II here: http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-15096-magic-bowl-2015-
     
    ...And review the Wild Card results here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-14709-2015-most-attractive-pony-tournament-wild-card-recap/
  13. TailsIsNotAlone
    Greetings, everyone. I just wanted to tell you a few interesting stories I have dug up about retail history. I've done some work in the field, but only in the past year have I begun to understand what a simple store can reveal about a community, and the stories it can tell--even after it's gone.
     
    Take shopping malls, for example. When I was growing up we went to Maplewood Mall, a vibrant and healthy shopping center that's still going strong. Back then I thought malls were these big, unstoppable superstores that would never go away. But now I know better.
     
    (Made by me on Youtube:)
    http://www.youtu.be/Cwwz4pAnL24
     
    Since the 1970s, and especially the 90s and 2000s, malls have been closing down all over the U.S. Many lose their anchor stores (like Sears or Dillard's) and starve from lack of business. Others can't compete with other malls that are newer, bigger or more conveniently located. Some lose all their traffic because of rising crime rates and their communities changing around them (the famous Dixie Square Mall in IL and the subject of my video). And still others just never should have been built (Forest Fair Mall in Cincinnati).
     
    On top of all that, there is the growing shadow of Internet merchants and big-box stores like Wal-Mart and Costco that have sprung up all over the country and cut into their profits.
     
    Public shopping centers go as far back as ancient Rome with Trajan's Forum. The first enclosed mall ever built in the U.S. was Rhode Island's Westminster Arcade in 1828, but they did not become common here until the 1950s and 60s, thanks to the visions of Austrian-born architect Victor Gruen. Gruen originally wanted malls to be not only shopping centers, but community centers complete with residential areas, medical facilities, and schools. He believed they would centralize towns and cities and change civilization for the better.
     
    In fact, his most celebrated creation was built here in Minnesota: the Southdale Center in Edina. It was the first mall to be fully enclosed and climate-controlled, and thousands of similar malls were soon constructed all over the nation.
     
    "Fifty years ago," wrote Malcolm Gladwell in a 2004 article for The New Yorker, "Victor Gruen designed a fully enclosed, introverted, multitiered, double-anchor-tenant shopping complex with a garden court under a skylight—and today virtually every regional shopping center in America is a fully enclosed, introverted, multitiered, double-anchor-tenant complex with a garden court under a skylight. Victor Gruen didn’t design a building; he designed an archetype."
     
    However, the grandest elements of Gruen's vision were never to be.
     
    "He didn’t appreciate that it made a lot more sense, for his client, to save civilization at a hundred and fifty thousand square feet than at six hundred thousand square feet. The lesson of America was that the grandest of visions could be derailed by the most banal of details, like the size of the retail footprint, or whether Congress set the depreciation allowance at forty years or twenty years.
    When, late in life, Gruen came to realize this, it was a powerfully disillusioning experience. He revisited one of his old shopping centers, and saw all the sprawling development around it, and pronounced himself in “severe emotional shock.” Malls, he said, had been disfigured by “the ugliness and discomfort of the land-wasting seas of parking” around them. Developers were interested only in profit. “I refuse to pay alimony for those bastard developments,” he said in a speech in London, in 1978."
     
    http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2004/03/15/040315fa_fact1
     
    The Southdale Center still stands today, but as the retail climate changed in the 21st century, many of its successors have not been so lucky. Some malls have quietly died and been revamped as libraries, schools or storehouses. Others have sat empty and abandoned for years, like Dixie Square, or been quickly demolished as smaller strip malls and open-air shopping centers take their place.
     
    But they all have a story to tell, and I believe these stories are worth remembering. You can read them at http://deadmalls.com by people who shopped there and grew up in the region.
     
    In some places, malls were criticized as invaders, profit machines bereft of culture that were an eyesore in their cities and choked the life out of the downtown areas. But in the long run, these places were just another stage of the country's economic development. Now the malls themselves are slowly but surely being phased out. Today I look at the nasty urban sprawl that is taking their place, jump-started by national chain stores racing to keep up with 'white flight' and the country's unstable demographics. They have fled the shopping centers and instead are camping out all over the highways and the outskirts of our cities--"smearing their logo feces all over the landscape," as George Carlin once said.
     
    Today I see that sorry display and wonder, "Is this any better? Maybe it's worse."
     
    Thanks for reading.
     
    And any TL;DR comments will be deleted with extreme prejudice. Cheers!
  14. TailsIsNotAlone
    Lyra Stuns Dash in Thriller

    Lyra entered Cloudsdale as the weakest contender in the league and left with an unforgettable 4-vote win.
     
    Fans of Rainbow Dash flocked to the sky from all over the forums—tailgating, drinking cider, swapping pictures of their favorite Pegasus and preparing to celebrate an easy victory before the Divisional round.
    None of them got to celebrate as a 6th-seeded background pony named Lyra Heartstrings pulled off the biggest upset of the competition. After jumping out to a quick lead on opening day, the best young flier in Equestria was poised for victory. But the eccentric mint-green unicorn, who squeaked into the playoffs via tiebreaker, suddenly surged forward and stayed one gallop ahead for most of the game.

    Rainbow Dash loses the game, but not her looks—or her spirit.
     
    Rainbow silenced any doubters who thought she couldn’t play from behind by fighting back and regaining the lead on Wednesday, but Lyra found a way through her defense once again and held on for a stunning win. Her victory sends reverberations across the EFC as she faces Applejack next week in a match nopony was predicting, sending Twilight Sparkle into a duel with Vinyl Scratch.
    “Oh my gosh,” Lyra gasped while resting on the bench. “I knew humans were out there! I knew it! And they…they voted for me…thank you so much. I’m going to research you even more now!!”
    Dash appeared shocked and said little in her post-game interview. When asked where she planned to go from here, the Pegasus replied, “I’m Rainbow Dash. All I’m gonna do is get better.”
    LYRA, 76-72
     
     
    Trixie Faces the Music
    An EFC West marefight that raged all through the regular season was finally settled this week. Celebrity DJ Vinyl Scratch and “the Great and Powerful” Trixie fought each other all the way to the playoffs, and in the end, Vinyl was the more appreciated pony.
    “Trixie has nothing to say to you!” the blue mare said as she stormed off. “Obviously the most beautiful mare in Equestria, whose beauty was matched only by her bravery in vanquishing not one but two Ursa Majors, is not appreciated here!!” A puff of smoke burst around her, but rather than vanishing, she galloped out of Club Pon3 as it was dissipating.

    Trixie blows town once again, facing an uncertain future.
     
    Trixie’s personality, always a small factor in attractiveness, may have lent Vinyl an edge—and if so, that edge grew sharper as the game wore on. After four or five days, a tight contest went in Vinyl’s favor. The attractive DJ slowly but surely built a decisive lead to advance to the Divisional Round.

    ‘DJPon3’ finally vanquishes her rival—but can she drop a beat hard enough to stop Celestia’s number-one student?
     
    “Party at Sugarcube tonight!” Vinyl whooped. “You guys might wanna bring your earplugs.” But Scratch won’t have long to celebrate, as she faces a tough contest with Twilight Sparkle next.
    VINYL, 82-66
     
     
    A ‘Fabulous’ Victory

    Rarity made ‘getting there the hard way’ look easy.
     
    It was almost a relief to have one wildcard game that wasn't a hoof-biter.
    After fighting her way to an unlikely playoff berth, Cloud Chaser found herself hopelessly overmatched against one of the most beautiful ponies in the PFC. The excellent defense that helped Rarity ward off a challenge from Octavia in the regular season was hardly needed here, as she galloped out to a huge lead and never slowed down. In a grinding wildcard week that saw upsets of two other Mane 6, the Element of Generosity never broke a sweat.
    “I was disappointed that a mare of my fabulosity was relegated to the, *ahem*, ‘wild’ card,” Rarity remarked in her dressing room afterwards, “But a lady does what she must. Photographers? I am ready for my close-up! Now, now. Not that close...”

    Cloud Chaser’s wobbly 6th-round playoff berth ended with a crash.
     
    “It is what it is,” Chaser said while being consoled by her sister Flitter. “I didn’t bring my A-game today. Rarity did. I just have to go back to weather patrol and be ready for the next opportunity. And something tells me it’s gonna rain over at Carousel Boutique tomorrow.”
    RARITY, 109-39
     
     
    Octavia’s Winning Performance
    It was a good week to be a unicorn, but an even better week to be a background pony. For much of this game, the party pony and the classy cellist fought the tightest battle of the wildcard. Pinkie Pie and Octavia tied each other and exchanged one or two-vote leads too many times to count. But in the final days, it was Octavia who surged ahead in the 2013 Most Attractive Pony Tournament.

    The only cello player in Ponyville performs a celebratory solo after her hotly contested win.
     
    “I am honored to have come out victorious today,” the musician said graciously. “Pinkie Pie is a vivacious mare and a worthy opponent, who greatly disrupted my performance at the Gala a few years ago. I suppose a small part of me did not forget that.”
    “Lose? I didn’t really lose, silly,” Pinkie giggled with a smile that was just a little too wide. “I won 62 friends! YAY! Can you imagine if all of them came over for a party? And all of them brought cupcakes? That would be 62 cupcakes! Or if all of them baked a TRAY of cupcakes?!?! That would be like eleven-teen gazillion cupcakes!!! Ohmygosh I can’t wait anymore…PARTYYYY!”

    Down but never out, Pinkie Pie smiles for the camera.
     
    The pink mare promptly grabbed our reporting team and spirited us away to Sugarcube Corner, for what was assuredly one of the biggest parties in Ponyville history.
     
    OCTAVIA, 86-62
     
    Look back on Alfonzo's tourney here! http://mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/page-1
    And check out the Divisional results here... http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2743-full-divisional-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    The Conference Championships here... http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-2910-full-conference-championship-recap-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013/
    And the Magic Bowl here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-3094-magic-bowl-recap-and-the-most-attractive-pony-is/
  15. TailsIsNotAlone
    A Case for Octavia and Lyra in the Magic Bowl
     
    You probably know about the Most Attractive Pony Tournament by now. If you don't, the name speaks for itself. You go in and vote for the ponies you find most attractive until only two are left, and those two square off in the 'Magic Bowl.'
     
    Well, this week the voters decide which ponies get there, and the matchups are Lyra Heartstrings vs. Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy vs. Octavia. Does your mind automatically say "well, Twilight of course!" Is your eye immediately drawn to Fluttershy? I don't blame you. They're two of the cutest and more popular ponies on the show after all! But before you make your final decision: here's some food for thought, quoted from the tournament thread itself.
     
    We aren't alone in wanting to shake things up on this board; I knew that from the beginning. I for one would love to see two background ponies in the Magic Bowl. If there's any way to show how far we've come as a fandom in such a short time, that would be it. No longer depending on the show's main characters, but seeing beauty and life in ponies who have only moments of screen time to their name.
    -ME
     
    You know it's funny. I've been hoping for Lyra vs Octavia final round pretty much as soon as the brackets were made and now it's pretty close to happening.
    -COTA
     
    I reckon that if Twilight wins against Lyra, Octavia's going to get demolished due to a condition I have dubbed "Mane 6 appeal". It will be much more interesting to see the background ponies at each others' throats than watch Octavia get slam dunked in my opinion.
    RALLY TO THE CAUSE, BACKGROUND PONY FANS! TOGETHER WE CAN PUSH BACK THE MANE 6 MENACE AND CREATE A BATTLE THAT WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY!
    -ARCHI
     
    Many of us are starting to think a little differently. Yes, it is about voting for the ponies we find most attractive, and maybe you haven't looked at Lyra or Octavia that much before. But now is a good time to start. Because if you can see in them what we see--the cuteness, the adorable designs and color schemes, the rich personalities that the show didn't even have to create for us...
     
    ...You can also move this board toward a unique and unforgettable moment. Octavia and Lyra have made it this far because enough of us started to think outside the 6-sided box. And it's not hard to get there. Tell me these two ponies aren't the most beautiful!
     
    Lyra tries to break Octy's hi-score. o_O
    It's just not the same if one of them is left out.
     
    This moment, Octavia vs. Lyra, is possible. And by voting for them, you can make it happen.
    http://www.mlpforums.com/topic/44455-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2013-conference-championships/
     
    Thank you for reading. ^^
    -Tails
  16. TailsIsNotAlone
    I came to this realization while answering a question from Firebolt about why I don't like Magic Duel, so thanks Bolty. I thought it was worth mentioning to everyone else and it's as good a reason as any for which eps of S3 are my least favorite--and why it's been my least favorite season overall.
     
    In retrospect, I think Season 3 was all over the place--not just its quality, but the tone of its episodes and how much attention it paid to the bronies as opposed to the kids. The show balanced that out pretty well in Season 1 and even better in 2, but not so much in 3. To me, the two extremes of S3 are represented by the finale and Magic Duel.
     

    On one side you have Magical Mystery Cure. It seems to have been written in an alternate universe where MLP has only a child audience, with no expectation that anyone over the age of 10 would ever watch it. An overly simplified show, stereotypically "kiddy" in a way MLP was never supposed to be.
     

    And at the opposite extreme, you have Magic Duel: an episode that was all too aware of its adult viewers. Everything from Twilight's "padawan" role with Zecora to Fluttershy almost literally being a tree to Rule 63 and age change references felt like an exaggerated wink-and-nudge to the bronies.
     
    There were some similarities. I thought both episodes had poor organization and lackluster writing, but the point of this is: basically, they went so far in their respective directions that they totally lost me. And Sleepless in Ponyville did the best job of balancing the innocent (not childish) spirit of the show with what the bronies wanted, and was my favorite of the season. It all makes more sense now!
     
    What do you think?
  17. TailsIsNotAlone
    Well, I guess you can just look at the title and see the correct way. But yeah. Why can't anyone spell this word? It's not "defintly," it's not "defiantly," it's not "defnitley." I should also point out the difference between these two words because they are mixed up all the time:
     
    Definite / definitely: for sure, certain, without a doubt. (pronounced DEF-in-it-ly)
    Defiant / defiantly: stubborn, rebellious, uncooperative. (pronounced dee-FY-ant-ly)
     
    I don't usually quibble over this stuff but there you go.
  18. TailsIsNotAlone
    Rar-efied!
     

     
     
    Carousel Boutique being closed for the day is about as common an occurrence in Ponyville as a Parasprite invasion. Yet on February 10, 2015, one is likely to see colored lights flashing behind the shaded windows, Pinkie Pie's confetti flying out of the chimney, and a sign on the door reading "CLOSED FOR FABULOSITY--FRIENDS, GAWKERS, AND WELL-WISHERS ONLY."
     
    The proprietor has earned her day off. Being the Element of Generosity, the most popular clothing designer in Ponyville, the most ambitious social climber in Canterlot and Manehattan, and the most eligible bachelorette in Equestria was not enough for Rarity. As usual she desired something more, an accomplishment so great that not even the fourth wall could contain it--and as usual, she got exactly what she wanted. Rarity is now the Most Attractive Pony of 2015.
     
    The journey was not an easy one. Her treacherous road was strewn with the doubts of those who had overlooked her since 2010. It echoed with ugly words from those who derided her in 2014. In the past two weeks, a challenge from the seemingly unbeatable Princess Luna herself plunged it into darkness. But through it all, the pearl pony missed not a single graceful step.
     
     
    The Conference Championships
     
    It was like a rerun from 2013--veterans Twilight Sparkle in the EFC Championship and Fluttershy in the PFC Championship--until you took a closer look. Instead of upstart Cinderella contender Lyra Heartstrings, this time Twilight found herself muzzle to muzzle with one of the most loved ponies on MLP Forums, the charming and enigmatic Princess Luna. And where elegant earth pony cellist Octavia once stood, Fluttershy saw a pony she had beaten multiple times before: one of her best friends, the vivacious and ever-fashionable Rarity.
     
    Once again Twilight came "so close, yet so far" from a Magic Bowl, as she was simply outvoted and outclassed by a pony who turned the entire tournament upside down without really trying, while Fluttershy met a rare defeat at the hooves of an opponent whose determination neutralized her well-known ability to come from behind. When the dust settled, the thousand-year exile and the Little Drama Queen That Could were the last two ponies standing.
     
    LUNA, 123-78
    RARITY, 114-87
     
     
    The Magic Bowl
     
    No one knew just what was going to happen next. In a game that featured two remarkable competitors with bend-but-don't-break defense and dynamic, high-scoring offense, the result was a thrilling shootout. For two weeks and nearly thirty pages, Luna and Rarity had one of the most closely-contested games in playoff history.
     
    As her fans mobilized and a belief that it was her time swept across the board, Rarity had a strong start that set the tempo of the game. But as the denizens of the Lunar Republic promised, her lead did not last; Luna fought back aggressively and took the lead going into halftime. After that, the battle truly began. Pictures flew back and forth like snowflakes in a blizzard. Bets, promises, and proclamations of love reverberated from Canterlot Castle as each pony repeatedly counterattacked and took the lead. But then came the fourth quarter, when champions are made and one pony must step up.
     
    That pony was Rarity.
     

    The forum-wide awakening of Rarity's fan base catapulted her to a stunning victory.
     
    "Oh dear...I don't know what to say! So much success. So much love. So much...I...I can't stand it!" Rarity wailed rapturously after the game, collapsing onto a fainting couch.
     
    She promptly stood up two seconds later. "...Well, perhaps I can. But I must admit that for a time, I wondered if even I was fabulous enough to win an honor like this one. My little setbacks in the last few years have been...difficult. But as any fashionista worth her little red glasses will tell you, the rigors of conception and design must eventually lead to a beautiful final product. And I mustn't forget: to everypony who so faithfully supported and appreciated me...thank you."
     

    Luna, Woona, Moonbutt, call her what you like--just don't forget to add "strongest runner-up in M.A.P. history."
     
    "Attention, loyal subjects!" Princess Luna said after the game in her own special, and very loud, way. "We must address thee in the Royal Canterlot voice! We are, and shall always be, the loveliest pony in Equestria. None must be allowed to decree otherwise! As punishment for this outrage, We declare that the night...SHALL LAST...FOREV--" She paused as her fellow princess Twilight Sparkle stood up and whispered urgently in her ear. "What We mean to say, of course, is congratulations to Rarity. But We shall win next time!"
     
    She shared a civil hoofshake with her worthy opponent and departed to raise the moon, while Rarity retired to the Boutique for her beauty sleep. And with that, the second Magic Bowl and Most Attractive Pony Tournament came to another storybook ending.
     
    RARITY, 151-144
     
     
     
    Look back on the Divisional round games here... http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-14785-2015-most-attractive-pony-tournament-divisional-recap/
     
    ...And the Wild Card games here! http://mlpforums.com/blog/213/entry-14709-2015-most-attractive-pony-tournament-wild-card-recap/
     
    Finally, see the 2015 tourney thread here. http://mlpforums.com/topic/117121-the-most-attractive-pony-tournament-2015-magic-bowl-ii/page-1
  19. TailsIsNotAlone
    Hey everypony. Don't expect too much out of this blog because I'M KINDA DRUNK
     
    Just watching the MST3K'd version of Manos The Hands of Fate and drinking some grape juice. With vodka, and gin, and some Sprite. Pretty neat mix.
     
    DID YOU KNOW that nobody really likes gin by itself? It's too strong. Tastes almost medicinal. Put something else in with it. I really should try a Rainbow Dash mixed drink. It's supposed to be vodka, gin and triple sec--with blue kaokao. That's the only ingredient I'm missing.
     
    Would you be offended if I said ponies are sometimes hot? Maybe. Oh well. They are.
     
    I LOVE YOU. Just wanted you to know that before I sober up. I wish my opinions were so popular. But I just can't like Twilicorn or humanized ponies. Or ponies with navels. Why do they need belly buttons? Seems silly to me. I'll even ask Rainbow Dash. Hey Dashie, do you need a navel to be adorable?
    .......

     
    See, told ya.
     
    Hee hee, too much alky. I'm getting sleepy.
     
    Time to drift off watching some MST3k with...Nightmare Moon?! LOL. Love that picture at the top, it will be my desktop forever.
     
    Good night/drinking!
  20. TailsIsNotAlone
    With all due respect to the greatest princess and greatest villain seen here...
     
    This third-shift job just isn't working out. -_-
    Being nocturnal hasn't been all bad. I've been blessed with some great views and picked out constellations I hadn't seen since high school astronomy. The night truly is a wonderful time. But when I have to drag myself into a ghastly, gleaming facade of consumer artifice known as 'Wal-Mart' each evening at ten, its beauty is lost. I hoped it would give me a place to hide--from my anxieties, from a world that often frustrates and confuses me--but you can't hide and pay the bills at the same time. It makes no difference where I go; I don't seem to belong.
     

     
    Who wouldn't want to be Spike in this picture? I know I need a hug.
     
    It's days like this that make me wish I really could go off and live in Equestria. But if this world were not so troubling, would Lauren Faust have thought up Equestria to begin with? That's why good and bad are not directly opposed ideas; if you look closely enough, they are always intertwined. You have to take the bad with the good, and I try.
     
    But I can't do it here, and that's why I am quitting the job. It's boring, too many of the people are jerks and nothing I do really matters. You'd be surprised how depressing stocking shelves can be. No matter how well you do the job, they're always a disaster the next day. It's a constant battle to keep customers (and other employees) from making a mess of the store, and with no chemistry with the people here (they enjoy Jerry Springer unironically, that might say it all) and no full-time benefits in sight (they screwed me on a technicality), it's a battle I'm tired of fighting.

     
    It was that emotional fatigue that sent me driving home early tonight, through the first blizzard of the season, but no sweat. I'm a seasoned veteran of Minnesota winters and I made it home just fine. As my dog jumped up to greet me and I let her out, I reminded myself: only one more night after this. One more night of work, and then I'll probably go back to a day job. Luna didn't hold it against me--in fact, she gave me a parting gift. When I stepped outside later to let the dog back in, I saw a whitetail deer standing in the snow less than 30 feet away. It was a beautiful doe, just watching me to see if I was a threat. I was not; I just looked back at her for a long minute, and finally she scampered away into the trees. Soon I'll be escaping, too.
     
    So where do I go from here? Hard to say, but luck is usually on my side. I'll find another opportunity somewhere. In the meantime, I'm going to go home, surprise my family at Christmas dinner and enjoy the holidays. Right after poking fun at all the doomsayers on December 22nd.
     

  21. TailsIsNotAlone
    To anyone brave enough to read this, you have my thanks. I guess there are 2 parts to this odd little story; the first is about work, the second about dreaming (or my failure to do so). So, the work part. It's a night job where I stock groceries and other goods for a dept. store, mostly pop, water and juice. You get a lot fewer people shopping at night, which is part of why it appealed to me. It's not a soul-crushing ordeal (like my last job, that's another story), but it's still a job, and that limits the amount of time I can be home watching ponies. Plus there still are the other workers to deal with, and some of them can be jerks who clearly have never had ponies in their lives.
     
    But I had a solution for this. A few days ago, my Rainbow Dash wristband came in the mail! It looks just like this...

    ...and it's perfect. ("You may have seen these before if you've heard of the 808 Bronies in Hawaii. They were the first to have any," says the seller.) It has her cutie mark on both sides and is sturdy enough that I can wear it anywhere--to bed, in the shower......and even to work!
     
    So that's what I did, I wore it to work last night--with short sleeves so everyone could see. It may not seem like a big deal but it is to me because I'm really shy in person and I'm not one to display my interests. But no one really noticed or said anything. Every time the drudgery of sorting 30 different kinds of juice started to get to me, I would look at my wrist and I felt so much better. I think I got a lot more done that night than usual.
     
    My Little Pony has already made my life better. I can watch it online, I've got the wrist, a shirt, some blind bag figures, the calendar, and I've got the S1 DVD pre-ordered for December. I've got ponies on the brain these days. But just one thing is missing to make me a real hardcore brony...I've never dreamed about them.
     
    I can't dream about the ponies. I've heard of that lucid dreaming stuff you can do and it seems pretty awesome...but I can't do it. I tried several years ago and it never worked out. I sort of tried it again when I took a nap today. Told myself "okay, I'm going to dream about ponies." Did I dream about ponies? Nope. I dreamed about driving a semi-truck and wrecking it on Highway 52, then not being able to reach my grandparents on the phone. No ponies whatsoever. (Unless, heaven forbid, I was transporting ponies.)
     
    I wonder what I'm doing wrong...
     
    But that's it for my nonsensical blog post. Make of it what you will. If you have willingly dreamed about My Little Pony, please give me some advice!
  22. TailsIsNotAlone
    That's right--I got 'em all. I have no proof so you'll just have to trust me on this one.
     
     
    5:1, 5:2 - Princess Celestia accidentally transforms Diamond Tiara into an alicorn princess. Chaos ensues.
     
    5:3 - Flash Sentry from the Equestria Girls universe visits Ponyville. The Mane 6 spend the whole episode talking about how hot he is.
     
    5:4 - Cheerilee goes back to school--in Prance. Sacre bleu!

     
    5:5 - A spell gone awry causes Celestia and Luna to switch bodies with Snips and Snails. Unfortunately, it's permanent.
     
    5:6 - The Apple Family stands in front of their fence drinking cider and saying "yup."
     
    5:7 - Rarity saves Spike's life. The Dragon Code demands that he stay by her side and repay the debt. Little does he know what his pony mistress has in store for him. (Working title: "Fifty Shades of Off-White.")
     
    5:8 - The Changelings take over the Crystal Empire, then give it back because it was just way too easy. (Crystal Heart powered by love + changelings = very bad news.)
     
    5:9 - The background pony episode. Unfortunately, it is based on MTV's Real World where they all must live in an apartment together.
     
    5:10 - In a stunning development, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and Ditzy Doo are able to visit the real human world. They spend the whole time in a shopping mall where Rarity just can't find the right color lipstick.
     

     
    5:11 - Somepony gives Pinkie Pie some mare-a-juana cookies.
     
    5:12 - Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle accept Scootaloo's invitation to a "house party," not realizing her house is a cardboard box in the woods.
     
    5:13 - Princess Luna (still in Snips' body) learns that she owes over 1000 years worth of back taxes from when she was imprisoned on the moon. The entire monarchy goes bankrupt, leaving Mrs. Harshwhinny the new ruler of Equestria.
     
    5:14 - Twilight Sparkle becomes a fan of the Twilight series. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson guest-star.
     
    5:15 - Discord pursues his lifelong dream of being a country singer.
     
    5:16 - Rainbow Dash goes so fast that she accelerates her own evolution and starts turning into a lizard.
     
    5:17 - Silver Spoon reads Nietzsche and concludes that Celestia is dead.
     

     
    5:18 - King Sombra comes back from the dead to challenge Tirek to a grunting and growling contest.
     
    5:19 - Owloysius visits the Mirror Pool, makes a million copies of himself, and attempts to take over Equestria.
     
    5:20 - Pinkie Pie gets diabetes.
     
    5:21 - Ponyville catches disco fever. 99% of the episode is singing and dancing. Donna Summer guest-stars.
     
    5:22 - Fluttershy wants Celestia to change her into a tree.
     
    5:23 - The CMC messes around with love potions again, causing every Mane 6 pony to fall in love with all the others.
     
    5:24 - With water skiing becoming an increasingly popular sport in Equestria, Rainbow Dash is determined to successfully jump over a shark. Granny Smith raps at the end.
     
    5:25, 5:26 - The finale. A supposed flashback to the ending of 'Over a Barrel' reveals that Pinkie Pie and Rarity are still stranded in the desert, and everything that has happened in the series since then was just stories they were making up to entertain each other.
     

     
    (24 bad ideas. I feel strangely proud.)
  23. TailsIsNotAlone
    One big DVD set, 26 episodes, pizza coming in an hour and a fridge full of beer. It’s time to get this party of one started!
     
     
    First, a quick summary of the package and quality. The cover looks just like the pictures you’ve seen, the Mane 6 (plus Spike and Angel) standing around more or less randomly on a background shot of Ponyville. The green iris of Fluttershy’s left eye is missing and something about her tail doesn’t look quite right. (At least they fixed her wing, though.) The other ponies fare a little better, especially Rarity. The back side illustration is similar: Mane 6 in other random poses on a different background.
     
    Taking off the slipcover and opening the regular-sized DVD case, we have a composite illustration on the inside that is noticeably better. The four discs are secured in two double-sided clear plastic mounts, all with different pictures on them. Disc 1 has Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. Disc 2 has Twilight, Rainbow and Fluttershy. Disc 3 has Princess Cadance and Spike, which is odd because the former wouldn’t appear until the end of Season 2. Disc 4 has an equally strange picture of Celestia, who is so small she looks like an alicorn filly. Her mane and tail are not translucent and are missing the variety of colors we see on the show.
     
    But it’s what’s on the inside that really counts, and I fire up the DVD player. The main menu has “play all” as well as an episode selection--good. Fortunately the sound and widescreen picture quality are beyond reproach, at least for DVD…and on that note it’s time to review what’s really important: the show. The following is a list of random observations as the mad marathon begins!
     
     
    *I’ve got my Rainbow Dash shirt and wristband plus my Apple Bloom necklace on as Episode 1 starts. Gotta be prepared.
     
    *“I think she’s more interested in books than friends,” an anonymous pony says of Twilight Sparkle, like it’s a bad thing. xD (Hey, at least books can’t hurt you.) BTW, when will we meet the anonymous Moon Dancer, whose party Twilight shunned so she could study to save Equestria?
     
    *The first of many obtuse or misleading Celestia responses to get Twilight to come to Ponyville. At least here she had a good reason. Twilight meets the ponies. Naturally Applejack makes an awesome first impression, she’s Applejack. First sighting of the Apple family as well as the almighty Bloom and her first line, “Aren’t you gonna stay fer brunch?” Man, Michelle Creber was ten when she said that line.
     
    *DASHIE! Still as funny and awesome as ever in her first appearance. Twilight’s poofy hair actually looks good now that I see it again. Even Spike says it’s pretty like that. First sighting of a Rarity! “I’m in the zone, as t’were.” Spike is lovestruck the whole time and I know where he’s coming from. Fluttershy’s first scene touches me as deeply as ever. Twilight seems oddly jealous of her fascination with Spike (which we haven’t seen since).
     
    *And of course, Pinkie’s first party complete with hot sauce on a cupcake. OK, I’m seriously gonna try something like that. Time for some Tabasco sauce on a snack cake! ……

    *…Ewwwww. And now I desperately need the first beer to wash that taste out of my mouth.
     
    *Summer Sun Celebration and there’s no princess. “This can’t be good,” Twilight frets. (Actually it’s just the kind of stunt Celestia would pull in hindsight.) Instead our guest of honor is the much cooler NIGHTMARE MOON! OMG, I’m marking out for her. First sighting of the CMC as the three of them tremble in fear.
     
    *Episode 2, which means it’s time to giggle at the Ghostlies! It’s not one of my favorite musical numbers but it’s a preview of the greatness that would come later in the series.
     
    *Damn, remember that scene where Rarity bites off one of the effeminate dragon’s razor-sharp scales, and the show plays like she stabbed him with it?? Twilight: “Rarity, what are you—” *SLICE* Dragon: “Ohhhhhhhh!!” *falls over* So many LULZ. That is seriously my favorite moment in this episode.
     
    *Pizza Hut arrives as the dragon helps the ponies cross the river!
     
    *And lo, the divine Rainbow Dash flew to the top of a cliff where she was tempted—and did not give in. I love you, Dashie.
     
    *Twi vs. Nightmare! “You’re kidding. You’re kidding, right?” Moon’s best line. Twilight does her first teleport and it’s clearly a strain on her. She would get much stronger later on. Here come the rest of the Mane 6!
     
    *Too bad THE NIGHT could not LAST FOREVERRRR…but Nightmare Moon is still favorite villain. AJ admits she thought Twilight was “Just spoutin’ a lot of hooey” when Twilight started talking about friendship=power. I like that about her. And Pinkie breaks the 4th wall for the first time! Wow, that started early.
     
    *Daaamn, you’ve gotta try these stuffed pizza rollers from Pizza Hut. And their whole dinner box. It’s Episode 3 and Twilight is hungry too. That’s OK, Twi, you can share!

    *AJ: “I’d give my left hind leg to go to that Gala.” Twi: “Okay, I’ll get a saw.” O_o Wait, I think I heard that wrong.
     
    *You know, we never actually saw what RD does during the Buccaneer Blaze, just that it generates lightning.
     
    *The Ticket Master is a better episode than I remember. It really served its purpose in solidifying the Mane 6’s personalities.
     
    *Applejack’s first great moment: saving Ponyville from a cow stampede. She’s exhausted for the rest of the show, though. Hey, AJ was the first pony besides Twilight to get an episode just about her! What are her fans complaining about again?!
     
    *Poor AJ, too stubborn to accept any help until the end. I suspect that I’ll look something like her before this marathon is over... xD
  24. TailsIsNotAlone
    The woman standing on the other side of the hotel desk is in rough shape. She just arrived here in a cab and it's pretty obvious that she just threw on whatever clothes were within reach to make the trip.
     
    "I need a room," she sobs.
     
    Jen doesn't ask what's wrong; she's been here longer than me and has probably seen it all. We wait awkwardly for the woman to compose herself a little more before requesting an ID. She can't stop crying the whole time, even when another guest walks in.
     
    "Are you all right, ma'am?" I ask.
     
    She shakes her head. "My husband just beat me up," she says breathlessly.
     
    I hesitate. I feel a little sick inside. I know this stuff happens every day, but never to anybody I know--or does it? I guess you can't be sure. Some women disguise it really well.
     
    Not this one, though. None of that "I walked into a door" crap from her. The only marks visible on her are on her arms where his fingers bruised her, and you have to look close. If she just rolled up her sleeves and didn't cry, no one would be the wiser. But she's not trying to hide anything; in fact she just told the truth to perfect strangers, so maybe that's a good thing. She's not resigned to being hurt. She doesn't blame herself.
     
    I ask her a few questions while Jen checks her in. We rarely take cash but this is an exception. Yes, she's called the police on him. Yes, he gets drunk and angry and then goes after her. Yes, she has kids but they're staying with their grandmother.
     
    There are still a few minutes before my shift starts and she doesn't know how to use the key card. I open the door to her room and let her in. She flops on the bed, exhausted and miserable. So now what? All my life I've had chances to help others but I don't take them. I'm afraid of people, even people as afraid as I am.
     

     
    "Sit up for me," I say. She does. I sit down next to her and just hold her for a while. She melts and cries in my arms. "It's okay. I've got you. It's going to be okay." Like I would know. "I'm probably not the first person to ask you this, but how many more times do you want this to happen?"
     
    "Never," the woman says. "I hate him. He's put me in the hospital."
     
    She asks me my name and I tell her. "Relax, get a good night's sleep," I say. "Then decide what you're going to do next."
     
    I can't imagine what I would do in her position. She thanks me and I leave. It all took less than ten minutes, but it stays with me. Maybe her life will change for the better after this, maybe not. But it taught me something: that I am still capable of really caring for someone else. I was having doubts after spending so much time alone.
     
    "I'm glad you talked to her," Jen remarks back at the desk. "You're a whole lot more compassionate than I would be, Nathan."
     
    Me? Compassionate? I don't even like people. If they knew what a lean mixture I was running on some days, I doubt they'd want to be around me either. But I guess things could be worse. I could be some asshole who gets hammered and beats his wife. Or I could be running off, bruised and freezing in the middle of the night, to nothing but the kindness of strangers.
     
    Are you there, God? Can you give her the help you didn't give me?
  25. TailsIsNotAlone
    Warning! Several drinks were consumed in the making of this blog, which makes it dangerously fun and random. This is the incoherent story of how my day received not just one, but two, shots of Rainbow Dash's trademark coolness.
     
    So yeah. Today I finally got........

    My Rainbow Dash shirt in the mail!!!!!

     
    This is automatically the sweetest shirt in my closet. Except I haven't put it in the closet yet, it's still hanging from the window just so I can look at it. I wore it to the liquor store when I bought my Mike's Hard Lemonade, then to the Goodwill to get a new keyboard, then to the McDonald's drive-thru...so three places have already witnessed the awesomeness of Rainbow Dash. That's right, I wore the shirt outside. I'm usually too shy to do stuff like that, but that the hell. Nobody around here knows about My Little Pony anyway. ^^
     
    So that accounts for the first 20%. The second was that I went shopping at Wal-Mart again this morning and bought two blind bags. I opened the first one and went nuts, because...
     

     
    It's Rainbow again!!! OMG, how did that happen?! I must have lucky fingers or something!
     
    I opened the second one to reveal my third favorite pony...

     
    So, damned if this wasn't automatically a great day. Rainbow and Pinkie are now standing on my dresser with their collector cards. How about those two showing up together? It's like an omen, saying that I should write something about those two ponies. Maybe I will.
     
    But first, on to the fifth Mike's! Don't worry, I'm not an alcoholic or anything. But once in a while when the mood is right, I decide to cut loose. Not every entry of this blog will be a cautionary example of "don't drink and write." Most will just be the ravings of a madman who happens to love My Little Pony. I will be getting my required dosage of MLP later tonight (up to "Green Isn't Your Color"), but first, this blog and some Mystery Science Theater 3000, my other favorite show of all time. Is you haven't seen it I highly recommend it.
     
    Anyway! I had to put someone on Ignore. I've never done it before on all the boards I've been to, and there are many, but dammit I want to enjoy this site. And the show. And he was just depressing me, so there you go. MLP is just too great for me to nitpick over every detail of it, and I love this board too. A million thanks to everybody who's hoofed me and feels the same way, because you're making me a happier person. You've all been very welcoming and I really appreciate you.
     
    So, to sum it up. I've got you, I've got my shirt and sparkly figurines, and I promise that future entries of this blog by a clueless newb will be better. And I managed to get through this thing without breaking any rules, so yay! *raises bottle* To Bronydom!!!
     
    P.S. Dashie's cutie mark was a stroke of artistic genius.
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