request A critique and cover art

[Kelario 95]

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/200752/pokemon-equestria-version

 

I am barely beginning (only the prologue is done) to write a fanfiction. It's a crossover with Poke'mon, where that world attempts to invade and conquer Equestria, taking advantage of their accidentally killing Luna. Point of view shifts between Equestria and the Kanto region.

 

I have two requests here. 1) I would like a critique. I'm self-conscious about pretty much everything I do and right now am taking advantage of anonymity for feedback. I've been told my writing is good but I'm never sure until I've perfected it. 2) I'd like to start asking for cover art now (this is FiMFiction) so as to save time later. What I'd like is something of a battlefield, with Lt. Surge and Electric Poke'mon spewing lightning on one side and some unicorn Royal Guard on the other, spewing magic.

 

I'm too tired to make this post look nice or to say anything elaborate, or to grovel, or whatever. Half of this is filler.

 

Thanks for responses.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Kelario