slice of life Stereotypes [Critique Wanted]

[xCuddlefish 41]

Hi everybody! This is one of my first pony fanfictions, so I really want some criticism to improve my skill and to help my writing in general. Feel free to critique the story, the writing, grammar, etc. It will improve my skills as a writer. Because I may use this as an entry, I will only give out my introduction only. That way, if you're interested you can read it when I publish (if I publish...)

The genre is Slice of Life/Drama, and is placed in a modern day Canterlot school- the Royal Institute of Canterlot- shortly after the events of Rainbow Rocks. It is a story about a colt meeting a mare who is much different than what she looks like, and eventually begins a friendship, and quite possibly a romance. 

 

 
I keep reminding myself to never judge a book by its cover, but with some, I just can't help myself. Everybody knows that a book's cover is what pulls people in. But, covers can be extremely misleading. Not all covers, for example, the Magical Faraway Tree, is all about a magic tree. Alice in Marveland is about a blonde pony going to a marvellous land. But, there are occasionally those book covers that very misleading, and have nothing to do with the book. To Kill a Hummingbird wasn't about killing Hummingbirds, Moby Dick wasn't about mobies or- erm, continuing on. But more importantly, Falling Skies is not an insane psychopath most of the time. She is much more that what people say, and what she believes.
 
Not that I blame people for thinking that she is a psychopath. But even so, it what makes us ponies. We doubt weird, old colt. We tend to keep a cute, young filly safe. It's just instinct. Doubt makes us pony; without doubt, there's no belief. There's a fine line between belief and doubt. You can believe something, and doubt it's existence at the same time. Ghosts, spirits, whatever, it's something that people can believe but at the same time doubt. You want to doubt it's existence, but at the same time, with something supernatural comes up, you start to believe it. This can apply to anything. If a lie is a believable lie, it can become a truth.
 
Ah, I'm getting off topic. What I'm trying to say is that when you meet somebody for the first time, don't immediately assume that they're personality is close to their cutie mark, or their appearance or colour, or even their name. This is the story of a group of mare that are close and dear to my heart. All stories must start somewhere, so let's start at the very beginning.

Edited March 21, 2015 by xCuddlefish