Help with my first story,please?

[NinjaPomeranian 143]

Decided to post it here in a topic my um,my first writing

Apparently there are grammar errors,but according to the people that said it,they arent that...eye sore.So you shouldnt be bothered by them that much,I guess.I think

 

So yeah,please please give it a read,it could mean the world to me,a new writer that still needs to get the hang of this thing

I got the inspiration while watching Griffon The Brush Off again,after watching The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone(my fav episode of season 5) for like,the 10th time.Did I said I love that episode?Because I do,and I love Gilda too,fantastic episode :grin2:

Anyway,before I fangirl over Gilda more than I already did,lets move on shall we?

 

So yeah,again,please give it a read,and please tell me what you think.Again,I tried my best,but is my first so be easy on me

Also,I hope Gilda is in character and everything.Is a...short story,but hope you will still enjoy it(warning tho,apparently even if its short it can give you feels still .You had been warned )

 

P.S. Sorry so much for the hiatus!I will try to be more active and if things go well,I will write more and post it there too so you guys can still give the story a read and tell me what you think and...and stuff :grin2:

 

Now the link to the story,shall we?

http://fav.me/d8ui3ig

 

[Jackie Snack 1,498]

I'll bookmark this thread and give it a read in the morning, hun~ A bit too tired to analyze at the moment. xD

 

Although, giving it a skim, it looks interesting. I'll be sure to wear my critiquing glasses.

[NinjaPomeranian 143]

Take your time,at least I know in the morning I will get a review

And is my first,so dont be too harsh with the critique glasses

[You Heard Nothing 1,213]

Indeed, it's a very short story, but it does a very good job of bringing out Gilda's side of the picture. I'd like to see a longer story by you, because you show promise. Honestly, the only problem worth noting that I can find is that it's so short, a bit short even for a short story. I'd say, keep writing, it looks great so far.

[NinjaPomeranian 143]

Indeed, it's a very short story, but it does a very good job of bringing out Gilda's side of the picture. I'd like to see a longer story by you, because you show promise. Honestly, the only problem worth noting that I can find is that it's so short, a bit short even for a short story. I'd say, keep writing, it looks great so far.

Thank you so much

Yeah it is,must admit.Tho I plan to write a mini sequel to it (wont be incredibly long either,but I will try my best to make it as long as I can)

Glad to see you enjoy my writing so far,cant wait to see your future reviews,hopefully

[Jackie Snack 1,498]

There you are!! For the oddest reason, I could not find the damn topic in my recents!

 

Frankly, the only thing I have to say has already been said. I definitely wanna see more from ya. <3

[You Heard Nothing 1,213]

Thank you so much

Yeah it is,must admit.Tho I plan to write a mini sequel to it (wont be incredibly long either,but I will try my best to make it as long as I can)

Glad to see you enjoy my writing so far,cant wait to see your future reviews,hopefully

 

Can't wait to give them. Hopefully I can go a little more in-depth next time.

[NinjaPomeranian 143]

There you are!! For the oddest reason, I could not find the damn topic in my recents!

 

Frankly, the only thing I have to say has already been said. I definitely wanna see more from ya. <3

But my,thank you so much!Hope I wont dissapoint in the future

Can't wait to give them. Hopefully I can go a little more in-depth next time.

Hope so as well

But still,thank for taking the time to give it a read

[Ninja(Pinkie)Midget 180]

I think it's a good start.  The first Gilda episode was always one of my favorites and it's good to see some of her character development.  What you've written so far feels like the start of a good story outline.  I'll be interested to see where Gilda goes from here.  I noticed some of the typos and wording mistakes here and there.  That's to be expected in your first draft.  I like to go back to parts of my stories after I've written them (like a week or so later) to get a fresh perspective and see if there may be some parts that could be reworded.  In the end, you will get a lot of good advice from your fellow writers as they will have a different perspective.  Some fellow writers pointed out some flaws in my storyline with Pinkie and Maud.  Feedback from other authors is always good

 

My story is here, if you're up for a read...

https://mlpforums.com/topic/99544-da-pie/

Edited May 29, 2015 by Ninja(Pinkie)Midget