To gut or not to gut

[Steel Accord 6,658]

So I've become aware that people like to see my first ever fanfiction published. The thing is, it's almost ancient as I began writing it back in season one. I don't think it's entirely unsalvageable but I'm not sure what to change and what to keep or if to change it all.

 

Here's the synopsis:

 

"The Conversion Bureau is a time of great change. Good change. Technology has revolutionized the way humanity lives. Princess Luna has returned from her century of exile. The joining of two worlds has begun and Equestria has established good relations with the United States, United Kingdom, European Union, and Japan.

But even good change brings it's share of problems. The Red Magic Plague is sweeping across the globe, infecting thousands. Attacks by the Human Liberation Front occur more and more frequently; varying in tactics and seemingly without connection.

 

Despite these problems, a new movement has begun. Above and beyond those who ponified for survival; there are those who have taken it with gusto. Musicians, artists, scientists, warriors. The best of humanity with all the magic of Equestria at their hooftips. What would this new brotherhood do for both their worlds? Find out through the eyes of one."

 

To specify, the story is a self insert fanfic and that kind of starts where the changes begin. My original ponysona was a pegasus, now it's who you see in the avatar window. Action junkie and real life martial artist that I am, I do plan to write myself into some fight scenes. Nothing beyond or even par to what we see on the show, I assure you I want to avoid Gary Stu qualities. However this does bring up the first question.

 

-Do I keep my original OC who fights with a more Western fighting style with an emphasis on sword play. (Held along the wings.) Or do I re-write with my new OC who fights with the more Kung-Fu inspired styled that I practice in real life?

 

The second biggest connection is that I originally had many big name bronies show up as actual characters. This was to intentionally draw parallels between the brony phenomenon and the Conversion Bureau culture in the story's world(s). On a second draft I replaced them with original characters meant to embody brony archetypes rather then specific big names.

 

-Should I keep the original characters or use the OCs of real people? (Maybe a mix of both?)

 

Lastly, and this is kind of the big one. I sort of need to decide where the creative vision for this story is going. I have this one idea for a world hopping epic where my motley crew of friends fight bad guys across both worlds. On the other end I have a more small scale idea where it focuses on the conflict of my brother, who rejects ponification and is hostile to Equestria, and myself.

 

-Which of the above sounds better, could I possibly balance both?

[Primarch Fulgrim 163]

Sword with wings man is kinda hard. And if your guy hasn't practiced much with hooves swordplay is pretty much out of the question if I were you. Go for more easy weapons to handle with hooves if you want that fix.

For the second question I would just use their OCs, less time to waste on appearance and their character design is laid out, ready to be put right in to your fic.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

 

 

Sword with wings man is kinda hard. And if your guy hasn't practiced much with hooves swordplay is pretty much out of the question if I were you. Go for more easy weapons to handle with hooves if you want that fix.

 

A ) The swords would be worn along the wings and I actually came up with an ancient Pegasi tribe fighting system based around them as the most militant pony tribe. B ) He would be trained in this style. C ) Holding swords with hooves would just look silly even in one's head.

 

 

 

For the second question I would just use their OCs, less time to waste on appearance and their character design is laid out, ready to be put right in to your fic.

 

I think I might keep them as more one off cameos rather than tag alongs. 

[Primarch Fulgrim 163]

A ) The swords would be worn along the wings and I actually came up with an ancient Pegasi tribe fighting system based around them as the most militant pony tribe. B ) He would be trained in this style. C ) Holding swords with hooves would just look silly even in one's head.

 

Ponies developing a tribe fighting style based around weapons they can utilize only partially is silly. I know the show has a lot of inventions based around hands and thumbs, but even the castle guard use weapons that are easier to use with hooves. The only type of pony able to utilize the sword to its full potential is the unicorn, but the levitation makes the handle and hilt completely unnecessary. But it's your fic and honestly I doubt anyone would care. 

[Steel Accord 6,658]

Ponies developing a tribe fighting style based around weapons they can utilize only partially is silly. I know the show has a lot of inventions based around hands and thumbs, but even the castle guard use weapons that are easier to use with hooves. The only type of pony able to utilize the sword to its full potential is the unicorn, but the levitation makes the handle and hilt completely unnecessary. But it's your fic and honestly I doubt anyone would care. 

 

Well as I said, the idea is that the pegasi would take advantage of their extra limbs. And I'm not the only one who's thought of this.

 

 

 

I get what you are saying though. You would prefer I not go this route.

[Once In A Blue Moon 894]

-Should I keep the original characters or use the OCs of real people? (Maybe a mix of both?)

 

 

I would recommend using your own original characters. If they are to grow and develop over the course of the story, you need to understand them very well and to feel completely free to change them as seems appropriate; both of which are harder when you are working with a character that was created by somebody else.   

 

 

Lastly, and this is kind of the big one. I sort of need to decide where the creative vision for this story is going. I have this one idea for a world hopping epic where my motley crew of friends fight bad guys across both worlds. On the other end I have a more small scale idea where it focuses on the conflict of my brother, who rejects ponification and is hostile to Equestria, and myself.

 

 

This boils down to how ambitious you are feeling. I would suggest starting fairly small with a story that can stand by itself (so no serious cliff-hangers  - no matter how tempting it is) with which you can do some world-building and character development that can be followed by a longer and more ambitious work. Think of it as a warm-up exercise and some market research, as you can get feedback on it and decide whether you want to continue it. If it's a complete disaster you can then abandon it or do some major re-designing before you do another piece in the same universe (and as long as later works don't rely on it people can skip it without losing out on too much.) If it is well received  then you can build on it with a sequel or another story in the same universe that is related to it somehow (again, though, it really helps if stories can largely stand on their own.)

[Steel Accord 6,658]

 

 

This boils down to how ambitious you are feeling. I would suggest starting fairly small with a story that can stand by itself (so no serious cliff-hangers  - no matter how tempting it is) with which you can do some world-building and character development that can be followed by a longer and more ambitious work. Think of it as a warm-up exercise and some market research, as you can get feedback on it and decide whether you want to continue it. If it's a complete disaster you can then abandon it or do some major re-designing before you do another piece in the same universe (and as long as later works don't rely on it people can skip it without losing out on too much.) If it is well received  then you can build on it with a sequel or another story in the same universe that is related to it somehow (again, though, it really helps if stories can largely stand on their own.)

 

This might be the best piece of advice I've been given. What about the actual protagonist, my first question? 

[Once In A Blue Moon 894]

 

 

This might be the best piece of advice I've been given.

 

Take it with a pinch of salt. I've done a bit of creative writing, but my experience mostly comes from reading - in which I am quite detached from the creative process. What I have described would lead to a series of short and loosely-related stories, largely because most people won't finish a huge epic and it's more enjoyable for the reader if there is no cliff-hanger that is never resolved. And also because if you want to write a long work of fiction then at some point you will, irrespective of what I say - and that's fine, but you probably want to get some practice in first.

 

 

 

What about the actual protagonist, my first question? 

 

That's getting more in to the specifics, and I must confess to not being a fan of humans in Equestria fictions. As such, I haven't read many of them and so I am very poorly placed to offer specific advice. Still, I'll give it a go:

 

 

 

-Do I keep my original OC who fights with a more Western fighting style with an emphasis on sword play. (Held along the wings.) Or do I re-write with my new OC who fights with the more Kung-Fu inspired styled that I practice in real life?

 

 

Knowing your material is really quite important - there are some stories I've read (particularly the military-themes ones) where it is fairly clear whether the author knows what they are talking about (I remember one fictional story where I was even able to guess exactly which role the author had in the armed forces - and I was proven correct by reading the 'about the author' page. And that's despite not knowing much about the subject matter myself.) So if you know about a particular form of combat, I would recommend including that... where it makes sense, at least. If every character uses Kung-Fu, especially when there is no explanation for how they learnt it, then it will seem a bit odd.

 

It is worth mentioning that while real ponies are really quite different to humans (did you know that horses physically can't be sick? Eating poisonous plants is quite a lot more dangerous for them than it is for us as a result), and so it would make sense for them to use a different style of fighting, MLP ponies are nothing like real ponies. So don't worry about it too much - if you can remember that they are quadrupeds and as such do not have a 'hand' (hoof) free to take an action by default then you should be fine (for example, if you threw an MLP pony an apple then it would need to catch it in its mouth or rear and grab it in both front hooves - although the show appears to suggest that ponies hooves can be 'sticky' when they need to hold something, and so it may only need one hoof. It would mean moving a lot of their body either way, whilst a human need only move their arm.)

[Chaton 3,765]

In terms of using OC's, sticking to your own OC's would be a better idea unless you had the time to discuss an interesting OC that someone else has to better understand them.

 

Also, swords are cool. You should definitely include swords.