Is Starlight an abuser?

[ManaMinori 4,149]

Spoiler

I was graciously given the approval to post this by another user (NuvaPrime, on dA). I am not claiming any content or thoughts expressed in this OP as my own nor posting it as such.

Source: https://www.deviantart.com/nuvaprime/journal/Is-Starlight-an-Abuser-767738819

[The question mark at the end of the title is to signify that although I have theories, I have no definite conclusions and this is primarily all theory and speculation. I have to emphasize that because otherwise some people will take as an opportunity to go overboard in decrying this entry] 

So a question raised to me a few weeks back by a friend of mine is whether or not I though the ponies from Starlight's village have Stockholm Syndrome. While I couldn't give a definitive answer on account of my not knowing very much about the condition, I did come to see the Ourtownsponies' behavior in TWABA as... troubling, to say the least, in particular how Starlight doesn't seem to care about how damaged they appear to be as a result of her, but instead only concerned herself with how it would affect HER later on if she led them again.

While I can't say anything definitive towards Stockholm Syndrome [generally classified as falling in love with your captor] I still concluded that the townsponies' reaction was the equivalent to abuse victims wanting their abuser to come back  and dictate them again. I don't think I need to tell anyone how messed up that is. 

I would have to conclude that they are indeed victims of her abuse given the very direct gulag treatment she gave dissenters back when she was still a villain. But that's just standard villain stuff, right? Well, consider that she didn't force them to be a part of her cult; she compelled them. They genuinely believed what she was selling and gave up their old lives for her and her cause as a result.

They followed her because they genuinely liked her, so now let's consider the implications of the equalist gulag. By all evidence, what we have is a group of devoted followers who are punished with isolation and propaganda bombardment for even remotely stepping out of line. Now we must also consider how they behave in TWABA; they all act in exactly the same way and are beyond overjoyed to see their cultist dictator of a leader back and want them to lead them again despite the fact that she abused them and their trust by lying to them, all to suit her selfish ends.

I may not know a lot about Stockholm Syndrome, but I have come to better understand abusive relationships. In an abusive relationship, generally you have one partner who loves the other partner, warts and all, despite the pain they inflict upon them, oftentimes even believing themselves to be deserving of the abuse their partner inflicts on them; and on the other end you have the partner who thinks only about themselves and takes out their frustrations on their partner  for whatever reason; sometimes its nothing to do with them otherwise, and often its for 'stepping out of line' [and of course the abusive partner will take advantage of their victim at almost every given opportunity] 

I have to conclude that this very accurately describes the relationship between the townsponies and Starlight Glimmer.

But then they became angry with her and rejected her after learning she lied to them and was acting selfishly, right? Yes, but then you have to take into account how readily they accept her back in TWABA, no acknowledgement even given of what she did to them; they just want her back and in charge of them. Yeah, Starlight supposedly changed her ways, but this unfortunately is another common symptom of an abusive relationship; the abused partner wanting their abuser back, made all the worse when the victim believes the ex has genuinely changed. 

Also consider if you will that despite having direct contact with a state official [Princess Twilight] they never bothered to call anyone for help when they apparently lacked leadership. they just apparently aren't good at running themselves and decided they want their dictator back. 

[I have to emphasize once again the speculative nature of this entry. This is not conclusive; only observational and speculative] 

So, yeah, that on it's own is plenty disturbing, made worse by the fact that Starlight and even the show never address this but instead only concerns herself with how what happens to them will reflect on her opinion of herself.

But if it were just this, I would cringe but then move on. HOWEVER, we also have to consider Sugar Belle, one of the ponies who begged Starlight to come back without question, and Sugar Belle is now Big Macintosh's marefriend.

In the episode 'Hard to Say Anything', despite being what could easily be classified as 'sexually assaulted' by Big Mac while sleeping [he attempts to kiss her despite the fact that they only have a working platonic relationship at best] and despite the fact that both he and Stallion Beiber continuously annoyed her throughout the episode, AND despite the fact that they wrecked her bake shop and then Big Mac came back in after she told him to get lost; she still falls for Big Mac without hesitation and they become a couple by the episode's end. 

Now any normal, rational woman would have given both Big mac and Stallion Beiber the fingers and told them to get lost, maybe even call the police. But Sugar Belle finds BM charming and forgives him for all the stupid things he did to her JUST BECAUSE he cleaned up a mess that HE made [HTSA is such a gross episode] 

Then in the episode 'The Break-Up Break-Down' Big Mac breaks up with her in a rather harsh way due to a misunderstanding and won't even let her explain what's really going on [he assumed that she was breaking up with him because they live in different towns and that strains the relationship; when in reality she was planning to move to Ponyville for the sake of their relationship] And what does she do when they meet again after the break up? She openly and readily accepts him back.

Now consider the facts:

• Every episode to feature Sugar Belle and not the other townsponies has been about her and Big Mac's relationship
• In both episodes BM has done something very scummy to her that would make most women not only call him out for it but also put a lot of distance between them and BM; yet Sugar Belle forgives him all too easily and readily

Now consider everything I said prior to that about Starlight and the Townsponies and that Sugar Belle is one of those townsponies. I don't know about you; but I notice a rather unsettling pattern of one side being often abused and very easily forgiving their abuser and wanting them back, while the abuser does very little to amend for their mistakes.

And still the rabbithole goes deeper;

We then move on to Trixie Lulamoon, a former minor villain turned protagonist. In the episode of her second return -'No Second Prances', it seems fairly straightforward that she deserves whatever bad karma she gets as in the episode she only befriends Starlight as a means of getting back at twilight for humiliating her a while back, and the same could be said for 'All Bottled Up' as she annoys Starlight and is very careless with her magic use, causing Starlight a lot of stress. So when Starlight's stress physically manifests and attacks Trixie, its just another instance of karma, right? Sure. 

But then we have to consider the sacrifices they make for one another [sacrifices a re a big part of relationships]; what sacrifices does Starlight make for Trixie? Sure she risks Twilight's approval in NSP, though Twilight is clearly behaving irrationally, so I can't really say that its that much of a risk, and in ABU she risks her own sanity to put up with Trixie just to protect Trixie's feelings, but here we have a situation where Trixie is clearly in the wrong, so I can't say that its THAT much of a sacrifice [not to mention the whole point of the episode was her learning that she shouldn't do that] 

But beyond that; what personal sacrifice does she make for Trixie? How does she go out of her way for her best friend?

I can definitely say however that Trixie DOES make sacrifices for Starlight, risking her own life to ensure Starlight gets away in the Changeling hive in TWABA, and pretty much everything she does in 'Road to Friendship' regarding Starlight is to try and accommodate her friend on their road trip, and even when Starlight wastes all of their money and food, only drawing the line when Starlight without Trixie's permission traded off Trixie's travel wagon.

It may not seem like much now, but when we tally up the evidence, we can see that Trixie has gone out of her way for Starlight way more times than Starlight has for Trixie.

Now let's focus on RTF for the moment; although Trixie goes out of her way for Starlight for the sake of their friendship, Starlight behaves very selfishly; she doesn't bring ANY of her own money, eats all of their food out of frustration towards Trixie, and then basically sells of Trixie's property, never once acknowledging Trixie's efforts to try and accommodate her. there's even the heavy implication that Starlight only gets Trixie's wagon back because travelling alone is harder than travelling with a friend [also keep in mind that it was Trixie who primarily pulled the wagon while Starlight just walked alongside her] 

One last thing of note in regards to Trixie is that because of her extreme personality, she has a very hard time making any friends; Starlight is essentially the only real friend she's ever had, so although this hasn't happened, it would be very easy for Starlight to manipulate Trixie by threatening to unfriend her. 

Now in all fairness, I could be making a mountain out of a molehill, but keep all of this in mind with the context of the townsponies and Sugar Belle.

Now we go on to Sunburst, her original best friend from childhood. This was a point I briefly raised on the Equestria Daily message boards back when the episode first aired, but I considered his and Starlight's friendship to be an abusive one. I thought this was the case because of how Starlight acts entirely on her own desires in an attempt to rekindle her relationship with Sunburst despite how uncomfortable she makes him, to the point where she basically age regresses the both of them so that they can play a board game.

And when she doesn't get what she wants, does Starlight accept that times have chnaged and move on in a mature way? No, she cries and runs off, and later on Suburst and Starlight's other friends go out of their way to create a life-size version of the board game for them to play [then Starlight drops Sunburst through the floor for fun] 

Once again, we have a friend making big compromises and sacrifices for Starlight while she doesn't really do much for them in the long run. 

Lastly, let's consider the Mane-6, in particular 'Every Little Thing She Does', the episode in which she pretty much mind-controls and brainwashes her supposed 'friends' just so that she can basically cheat on her homework. Yes, her scheme does blow up in her face, but this due entirely to a lack of forethought and not any sense of hesitation or guilt. And how does she pay for her offence willingly? How does she go out of her way for her supposed friends to make up for the fact that she turned them into puppets and gave them an extreme hangover for entirely selfish purposes? She apologizes, and that's literally it. She makes no further attempt to earn back the trust she lost with them as they very readily forgive her and even help her clean up twilight's castle, which Starlight is directly responsible for trashing.

In this instance, the mane-6 make more of a personal sacrifice for Starlight than she does for them, and she was the one in the wrong [also worth noting that they were already going to help her with her friendship homework before she cast the mind-spell on them] 

Its also worth noting that anything Starlight has done wrong usually has a positive and beneficial outcome, so it essentially creates the idea within those around her that she's not so bad and that all of her major crimes are little more than simple mistakes.

Need I remind of the mentality of abusive victims.


Now am I saying that Starlight is an abuser? Not definitively, no. Once again, this is entirely observational and speculative. More often than not, the problems seem to be with the writing and how the characters are portrayed, not necessarily how Starlight behaves in regard to them. The only real instances of definitive abuse I can give you are 'the Cutie Map' [her first episode, back when she was still a villain] and 'Road to Friendship', which many could dismiss as simply a bad Starlight episode.

However, that doesn't negate the pattern I now see; everyone Starlight associates with more or less bends over backwards for her despite what she does to them, meanwhile she rarely every actually does anything for them.

This is still more of a problem with the writers than it is with the actual characters, its not like in 'Steven Universe' where characters can be more accurately labeled as abusers. This I think is due largely to who writes the shows; Rebecca Sugar plays a very large role in the story-writing process of the series overall, so how many characters are portrayed can largely be attributed to her.

Meanwhile the writing staff of 'Friendship is Magic' is constantly being shifted through what's become known as the show's revolving door of writers, and according to MA Larson the staff doesn't really communicate with their writing staff anymore, so the portrayal of characters in FiM can largely be attributed to poor management and inconsistencies between writers who don't communicate.


Overall; while I'm not saying that Starlight is an abuser, I am saying that at this point it would be very easy to retcon her into an abuser. The patterns still exist, and they still do not reflect well on Starlight Glimmer

 

[gingerninja666 487]

You bring up what she did in All bottled up, then immediately write it off. I don't think you can use the episode's plot writing in this case, because what you're talking about is characterization. Starlight is consistantly characterized as someone who is willing to sacrifice things, to varying levels, it just sometimes turns out she doesn't need to. Her not needing to make a sacrifice because of the plot does not mean she doesn't ever have the desire to.

After giving it a think, here's a list of times when Starlight , I think, sacrificed things for others or gave consideration for others. Some of these things are big. Some are small:

• She is willing to give up her emotions to spare Trixie's feelings.
• She was terrified of going near her town again because she knew what she'd done to them. She said she was ready for them to hate her, but not for them to try and put her in charge, because she knew how horrible she ended up acting the last time that happened, and she didn't trust herself.
• She was willing to spend her time keeping Thorax and Ember apart with Twilight in a stressful comedy of errors caper just because Spike was freaked out.
• She was so wracked with guilt in Royal Problem that her mind was almost torn apart by it.
• In Uncommon Bond) She kept quiet about not enjoying the things Sunburst did so as to not ruin his day and his growing relationship with Twilight, and when it became clear to her that they'd grown apart, she seemed like she was willing to peacefully let him go, even though she was sad.
• She was willing to step in and help Pinkie and Mud Briar all throughout Maud Couple, including injecting herself into a volatile social situation to distract Mud so that Pink and Maud could talk.
• She was willing to spend hours lugging around tons of cumbersome camping equipment even though she dislikes camping, just because it meant a lot to AJ.
• Once she realized what she'd done in Road, she was willing to immediately make the trek back through the "awful" fire swamps and crocodiles that we just saw her having a terrible time getting through, then humiliate herself in front of hoo'far, all to make amends with Trixie for what she'd done.

 

Starlight doesn't really expect people to sacrifice things for her when she's in a right state of mind. In TWABA, she did not expect Trixie to sacrifice herself. In fact, she tried to stop her. Every little thing and No Second Prances depict Starlight early into her development. She still didnt' get things.  Then in Road, her impulsiveness was exacerbated by fatigue, bad luck, and the stress of being in close quarters with another pony in a way she's not used to. The thing about Road to Friendship, I liked it BECAUSE it was an episode where Starlight was unambiguously the one in the wrong. She was the one who had to learn a lesson from the mailponies, she was the one who had to do things to make amends, and she was the one who had to apologize.

[Misty Shadow 8,201]

Two obvious manipulations of the facts that really ticked me off in that theory...

4 hours ago, Nightmare Muffin said:

In the episode 'Hard to Say Anything', despite being what could easily be classified as 'sexually assaulted' by Big Mac while sleeping [he attempts to kiss her despite the fact that they only have a working platonic relationship at best] and despite the fact that both he and Stallion Beiber continuously annoyed her throughout the episode, AND despite the fact that they wrecked her bake shop and then Big Mac came back in after she told him to get lost; she still falls for Big Mac without hesitation and they become a couple by the episode's end. 

Now any normal, rational woman would have given both Big mac and Stallion Beiber the fingers and told them to get lost, maybe even call the police. But Sugar Belle finds BM charming and forgives him for all the stupid things he did to her JUST BECAUSE he cleaned up a mess that HE made [HTSA is such a gross episode] 

He attempted to kiss her in her sleep because he was being goaded on by the Cutie Mark Crusaders and wanted to impress her by doing something they convinced him would be cute and charming. Sugar Belle forgave him because she saw that he always had good intentions in trying to appease her. They call that "sexual assault"...what is wrong with today's world. 

4 hours ago, Nightmare Muffin said:

I can definitely say however that Trixie DOES make sacrifices for Starlight, risking her own life to ensure Starlight gets away in the Changeling hive in TWABA, and pretty much everything she does in 'Road to Friendship' regarding Starlight is to try and accommodate her friend on their road trip, and even when Starlight wastes all of their money and food, only drawing the line when Starlight without Trixie's permission traded off Trixie's travel wagon.

It may not seem like much now, but when we tally up the evidence, we can see that Trixie has gone out of her way for Starlight way more times than Starlight has for Trixie.

Now let's focus on RTF for the moment; although Trixie goes out of her way for Starlight for the sake of their friendship, Starlight behaves very selfishly; she doesn't bring ANY of her own money, eats all of their food out of frustration towards Trixie, and then basically sells of Trixie's property, never once acknowledging Trixie's efforts to try and accommodate her. there's even the heavy implication that Starlight only gets Trixie's wagon back because travelling alone is harder than travelling with a friend [also keep in mind that it was Trixie who primarily pulled the wagon while Starlight just walked alongside her] 

NO. Trixie and Starlight were both wrong in Road to Friendship. Trixie knew the likely possibility of her small, cramped wagon causing an inconvenience for her and Starlight, but went along with it anyways. Starlight had no ill intentions in wasting money on a snack, she just thought their funds would be enough. And Trixie provoked Starlight to the point of selling the wagon for a better one, talked in her sleep, drank all of the juice, and refused to clean the wagon out. There were plenty of shots where Starlight was pulling the wagon too and the implication was that Starlight had an epiphany after meeting the mail ponies.

The entire theory is really hack-like and full of it in my opinion, and these are just the most obvious lies I felt were being told to make Starlight out to be a sociopath when she's clearly not.  

[KH7672 1,604]

12 hours ago, Nightmare Muffin said:

Also consider if you will that despite having direct contact with a state official [Princess Twilight] they never bothered to call anyone for help when they apparently lacked leadership. they just apparently aren't good at running themselves and decided they want their dictator back. 

[I have to emphasize once again the speculative nature of this entry. This is not conclusive; only observational and speculative] 

Oh yeah it's speculative, speculatively wrong. It's at this point it's clear the author has no idea where the characterization lies.

I'm only going to say this once: THE VILLAGE PONIES ONLY WANTED STARLIGHT TO HELP WITH A FESTIVAL TO MAKE HER FEEL LIKE PART OF THE COMMUNITY AGAIN TO SHOW THAT THEY WERE SINCERE IN FORGIVING HER TOO

There is no talk of leading them again. Kinda hard to do that when her house was replaced by a tree. (Heh, kinda ironic is you think) But no she is asked to do what? Help choose a banner. Help set up a relay race. Help judge a baking competition. Help this...help that. Why? Because that's what good friends do to make each other feel welcome and wanted is by appreciating help they can get. She arrives and just wants to stand on the sidelines, but that's not the kind of thing you can just do in this community now. Everypony in the village helps and supports one another. It's why they stayed in the village to begin with. It was never their home to begin with but it became it.

Starlight is the only one who brings up them putting her in charge, but that's over-exaggerating the simplest of occurrences now how could she do that......oh wait. It's not like this is the character development she's been working toward this entire season. Getting over and forgiving herself. She said it herself at the very end :

Quote

Yeah... I guess after the way I used my magic on all of you, I wasn't sure I was somepony who should even be in charge of a baking contest. I was afraid I might go back to being the pony I used to be. But I realize that sometimes you don't have a choice. You have to step up. And I have changed! I can handle it. Whether that means saving Equestria or helping friends out with the Sunset Festival. 

Even she realized how out of proportion she was treating their requests for help.

So no, nopony was asking "for their dictator back" they just wanted to treat their old friend fairly like everypony else at the festival. They are a community after all and they were willing to welcome her back into it even for just a week.

[The Kaeya Simp 13,996]

Indeed she is not!
She is the complete opposite of an abuser!

[Will Guide 21,372]

On 10/12/2018 at 3:04 AM, Nightmare glim said:

HOW DARE YOU CALL MY STARLIGHT AN  ABUSER. MY STARLIGHT IS SWEET AND KIND. SHE IS NOT AN ABUSER. NOT EVEN CLOSE. HOW DARE YOU.

You don't have to shout.

To everyone I gave a teacup to, you make beautiful counter-arguments.

And @Nightmare Muffin, or whoever came up with this ridiculous theory, this theory is so full of obvious holes, I could make cheese out of it.