Jump to content
Banner by ~ Ice Princess Silky

critique wanted King Torment


Sweet Sweet Dreams

Recommended Posts

Soooo, Chrysalis and Discord are villains that are in my other two installments of my trilogy as the main villain, but the middle one of it all is a new villain by the name of King Torment.

He grew up in the times of the windigos rampaging back in pre Equestria and was a best friend and partner of Star Swirl the Bearded. Once Equestria came to be and two young Unicorns by the name of Celestia and Luna came into help with the problem the other Unicorns were having with the sun and moon rising, and in doing so with the new harmony between Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth Ponies alike, the magic from their praise of the two caused the two sisters to take the role of ruling Equestria by representing all three races. Torment was furious about two random special Unicorns getting the spotlight instead of himself and Star Swirl. The Bearded himself tried to explain to him that it was for the greater good. Torment rather than accept, left and came back to make everyone the same with a sword he possessed. Star Swirl tried to reason with him, but nearly let his old friend succeed in achieving his plan, so Star Swirl banished the figure and the sword was placed into a stone. Star then casted a spell on everyone to forget about his former friend. And he then believed that once someone becomes a villain, always a villain. But once Lord Tirek centuries later took his magic, the figure had been released. But he couldn't use the swords power anymore.

He about a year later, runs into Chrysalis who'd just been released from stone, both her and Torment decide to team up in knowing the rage against Equestria. But there was an issue. Chrysalis had developed sorta romantic feelings for the Unicorn, then following had a new Royal Changeling like herself appear in her stomach to soon give birth to. Once the baby had arrived, Torment realized his half daughter had his special powers and said out loud that he would leave Chrysalis behind as he didn't need her anymore. Luckily, the Queen heard him say his betrayal and Chrysalis decided to take her little Changeling baby away.

Once the old Unicorn saw he lost his daughter, he swore to perhaps kill Chrysalis someday as revenge. 

He not too long after, found a Unicorn that had great magical potential, but refused to join the King with his relationship with his parents. So the King killed his parents so he would join and the Unicorn grew up under his wing.

And now his daughter is twenty one, and found the sword and her true origin. 

While the King's setup is complete, I'm currently struggling with what he's gonna do in between his set up and plan to take over. Please, if you have any story ideas or heck even any twists with him that I couldn't I would be very thankful to hear. ;)

  • Brohoof 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Join the herd!

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...