Fanfic Idea

[SidewinderX 20]

Hello,

I am interested in possibly—at some point—writing what is basically a war fic. However, my idea involves a lot of topics that I'm worried are too close to tropes or cliches to work, and I want your feedback/opinions. Information below (copied from a document I'm working on to keep track of basic stuff. As such, it us a rather large wall o' text, and for that I sincerely apologize):

Sometime around 1808 AC (After Celestia) Princess Luna came to the realization that Equestria was failing. In looking back at the various reports sent in by Twilight, the military/intelligence reports, and other available information, Luna felt that Celestia was slowly becoming incompetent. For example, the kingdom had been attacked several times in recent years, but the inadequately trained, armed, and manned military—what little there was of it after the many years of peace since Sombra—had failed miserably every time. Celestia's entire national defense strategy seemed to rely on the six Bearers of the Elements despite new technology, such as firearms and fighter planes, appearing in neighboring nations. Middle-class ponies didn't have basic healthcare. School bullying and aubuse was a real problem. And, worst of all, Celestia's increasingly inept planning was unchallengeable since regular ponies had no say in political affairs, and the minor royalty was more ceremonial than official and didn't dare challenge the great Alicorn princess. Even the minor elected officials, such as mayors, only had a limited say, and even then, only at the local level. In addition, Celestia was guilty of rewriting history to 'protect' her ponies; Nightmare Moon being the mot grevious example. So what did Luna do? She couldn't face her sister one-on-one; she might get sent back to the moon. But she was sick of cowering from the silent threat of banishment that Celestia lorded over her. Luna founded a secret group, asking around and finding that there were quite a few ponies who agreed that the system needed change. Over the course of a year or so, the group gained members, swelling to almost 100,000 members. Celestia became concerned, but made no action, which would have been tyrannical. If she had known her sister was behind it, she would have acted differently. However, in 1811 ANM, the ‘Ponies for the Republic,’ as it had become known, officially succeeded from the Kingdom of Equestria, and Princess Luna revealed herself as the leader. The group, now at a population of about 1.5 million after the succession and still growing, became the New Lunar Republic, and after the drafting of the new constitution, Luna was almost unanimously elected Chief of State by the House of Representatives. The NLR’s succession took everypony by surprise, and agreements with city officials made behind Celestia’s back turned Tall Tale, Vanhoover, and a few other minor towns into the Republic’s territory, with Vahoover becoming Evenfall, the NLR capital. The new nation immediately began expending all available resources in defense, making tense agreements with the Changelings and Griffons. These agreements allowed machining tools, blueprints, and finished weapons, vehicles, aircraft, trainers and other supplies from the two outside nations to be imported into the NLR. Luna knew they were only supporting her fledgling nation since it served as a destabilizer against Equestria, but it was better than nothing. A month later, after Celestia refused to step down, allow the NLR to leave in peace, or start an election, the war started. Flights of brand-new Stuka dive bombers screamed down on various targets in the Empire, destroying factories, storage facilities, and key bases, as well as some of the brand-new airfields. Ju-88 and He-111 bombers dropped hundreds of tons of high explosive and incendiary bombs on various military facilities, crippling the Equestrian military. The Empire’s archaic spears and swords, thrown in with a few dozen rifles and perhaps a biplane if the defenders were lucky, stood no chance. Only two NLR bombers were shot down. Celestia and the Guardians of Harmony were shocked; the Griffons and Changelings were thrilled. Luna was grim. “Celestia has been warned."

 

Spitfires from the Crystal Empire were shipped to Equestria on emergency notice, but even they struggled to stop the daily strikes by dive bombers. Ground attacks against the new lands of the NLR proved disastrous against the modern machine guns and combined-arms tactics that Luna and the high-ranking members of the Ponies for the Republic, working with the Griffonian Empire, had been developing for situations exactly like this. However, despite the outward appearance, the NLR was struggling. Its economy was growing but did not yet exist, and it was already starting to feel the strain of wartime consumption and debt.

I have copious more amounts of data avaliable on request.

The idea of this story is that it will have a main character, but the POV will jump around to see the war from all angles and levels of command. I am working to make this as realistic as possible, and not a 'random MacGuffin/character solves everything' or 'Hollwood tactics' story. Any commentary or advice is welcomed.

[abronymouse 5,496]

I like it  sort of like Star Wars but with ponies. Write it, pony friend! 
 

Quote

Middle-class ponies didn't have basic healthcare.

there need to be more stories driven by socially minded ponies! reminds me of Bright Eyes from MLP Tales 

[Dawnshine Wonder 161]

So a dark fan fiction, where one side commits terrorism, to overthrow a leader who has shown a history of showing mercy to her subjects, right...

[SidewinderX 20]

20 hours ago, Dawnshine Wonder said:

So a dark fan fiction, where one side commits terrorism, to overthrow a leader who has shown a history of showing mercy to her subjects, right...

Not terrorism. Revolution. Two different things. And I actually plan to address why the NLR doesn't hit civilians if at all possible (mostly because killing innocents is a quick way to make yourself unpopular).

And there is a difference between 'mercy' and 'let's forgive every villain ever without thinking about compensating victims or making the villain work to atone for their crimes because FRIENDSHIP.' I'm all for forgiveness and second chances, but at some point just going 'okay, you said sorry, you're a good guy now' doesn't cut it. It's one of the main things I don't like about villain redemption arcs in MLP.

[Dawnshine Wonder 161]

2 hours ago, SidewinderX said:

Not terrorism. Revolution. Two different things. And I actually plan to address why the NLR doesn't hit civilians if at all possible (mostly because killing innocents is a quick way to make yourself unpopular).

And there is a difference between 'mercy' and 'let's forgive every villain ever without thinking about compensating victims or making the villain work to atone for their crimes because FRIENDSHIP.' I'm all for forgiveness and second chances, but at some point just going 'okay, you said sorry, you're a good guy now' doesn't cut it. It's one of the main things I don't like about villain redemption arcs in MLP.

Yes it is terrorism, just because you don't like someone's methods of fostering hope and understanding, doesn't make a hostile takeover right. That's why this fan fiction of yours conflicts with the ideals of justice and compassion. Princess Celestia in the franchise has been through hardships of her own, one almost being killed by her sister before she had to use the elements of harmony to banish her, which would've broke her heart, though she had every right to defend herself. Sorry, this fanfic of yours doesn't get my vote.

[SidewinderX 20]

19 hours ago, Dawnshine Wonder said:

Yes it is terrorism, just because you don't like someone's methods of fostering hope and understanding, doesn't make a hostile takeover right. That's why this fan fiction of yours conflicts with the ideals of justice and compassion. Princess Celestia in the franchise has been through hardships of her own, one almost being killed by her sister before she had to use the elements of harmony to banish her, which would've broke her heart, though she had every right to defend herself. Sorry, this fanfic of yours doesn't get my vote.

"Terrorism, in its broadest sense, is the use of violence against non-combatants to achieve political or ideological aims."-Wikipedia

Mmm...nope, not terrorism. And that 'justice and compassion' is gonna get somepony killed, if it hasn't already. How do we know that all the buildings Discord levitated and inverted were empty? Did the Changeling invaders (that the Equestrian military, lacking intelligence on the enemy and undertrained for combat because of Celestia, failed to predict or properly engage) conveniently ignore civilians? Did the Storm King's soldiers decide to throw all the civilians in cages and be done with it? Did Starlight realizing the error of her ways instantly undo the mental trauma inflicted on the victims of her manipulation?

The answer is probably no. And what allowed these things to happen? Celestia. Here is the list:

-Discord: escaped easily. No fallback systems or extra security in case the stone prison failed. After being turned back to stone, Celestia frees him because 'his powers can be used for good.'

-Storm King/Chrysalis invasions: both could have been avoided with a decent intelligence service (SMILE, which Celestia disbanded. Yes, it's confirmed in the show) and a competent military force.

-Starlight: far more difficult to avoid, but she didn't have any sort of atonement, and the victims were not compensated or treated for mental issues resulting from her manipulation.

I'm all for voicing you opinion, but please counter my points instead of repeating the same things over and over regardless of my response. I've pointed out multiple instances where Celestia has failed, and the only one you've addressed is Starlight. In one last bid to get my point across, let me try this: imagine if the country you lived in had been invaded three-odd times in nine years and subjected to mass mayhem, and your government had to be saved by a couple civilians every time, would you really feel safe? Would you think that government is capable of protecting your life, family, and property? Imagine how Equestrians would start to feel.

Edited Tuesday at 01:05 PM by SidewinderX