How to handle kids

[Sakamoto 103]

Can anyone here give me a few tips on how to handle small kids? Like how to control them and keep them alive as long as possible or until their parents shows up.

 

Tomorrow is Sunday, and instead I got to spend the entire days sleeping and generally being useless, my sister is going to drop her daughter on my house. You may say playing with your niece is like having a shiny talking pet, but this one is particularly annoying as Sorrel Hell.

 

She likes to run around screaming various profanities while flailing her arms around, knocking off lots of stuff.

She usually get this bizarre temper tantrum if I don't buy her ice cream or whatever, which often results in her pissing herself.

And more often than not, she likes to bite. And it's not the playful kind of bite, but the oh-god-I'm-bleeding kind

 

 

Any ideas? Because clearly shoving her to a lava pit won't help the slightest :|

[KakeiTheWolf 652]

Use what I would use: The power of ponies.

[Sakamoto 103]

  On 2012-07-14 at 2:27 PM, 'Kakei' said:

Use what I would use: The power of ponies.

 

She might be the target demographic, but I can't really afford to show her my laptop.

[zDashiez 496]

i'll do some digging see if i can find you something

Edited July 14, 2012 by zRevenantz

[KakeiTheWolf 652]

  On 2012-07-14 at 2:30 PM, 'Sakamoto' said:

She might be the target demographic, but I can't really afford to show her my laptop.

 

Oh, then I am out of ideas.

[One 498]

Plan A: Most of the time give 'em an Xbox 360, (get xbox live), then keep getting the newest COD game. Then you got a pro way of handling children (besides the fact that they will learn alot of swears and other not so good things)

 

Plan B: Smack her untill shes bowing down to you (Child abuse laws wont be good to you)

 

Plan C: "Pretend" she just 'walked' (and you didnt shove) her out onto an upcoming bus, therefore mosthopefully, i mean likely, killing her (Just dont let people know you murdered her) (there may be some child endagerment laws to go against you)

[KakeiTheWolf 652]

  On 2012-07-14 at 2:54 PM, 'Original' said:

Plan A: Most of the time give 'em an Xbox 360, (get xbox live), then keep getting the newest COD game. Then you got a pro way of handling foals (besides the fact that they will learn alot of swears and other not so good things)

 

Plan B: Smack her untill shes bowing down to you (Foal abuse laws wont be good to you)

 

Plan C: "Pretend" she just 'walked' (and you didnt shove) her out onto an upcoming bus, therefore mosthopefully, i mean likely, killing her (Just dont let ponies know you murdered her) (there may be some foal endagerment laws to go against you)

 

Holy crap, tell me that is sarcasm. I hate children, but not even I am THAT evil to them.

[Sakamoto 103]

  On 2012-07-14 at 2:54 PM, 'Original' said:

Plan A: Most of the time give 'em an Xbox 360, (get xbox live), then keep getting the newest COD game. Then you got a pro way of handling children (besides the fact that they will learn alot of swears and other not so good things)

 

Plan B: Smack her untill shes bowing down to you (Child abuse laws wont be good to you)

 

Plan C: "Pretend" she just 'walked' (and you didnt shove) her out onto an upcoming bus, therefore mosthopefully, i mean likely, killing her (Just dont let people know you murdered her) (there may be some child endagerment laws to go against you)

 

You want me to go to the electric chair or something?

[zDashiez 496]

Hope you like reading

http://kidshealth.or...handlebehav.htm

http://www.wikihow.c...ile-Babysitting

http://specialed.about.com/od/behavioremotional/p/handlebehav.htm

http://www.wikihow.c...-To-Handle-Kids

Edited July 14, 2012 by zRevenantz

[Flicker Sweet 3,391]

  On 2012-07-14 at 2:20 PM, 'Sakamoto' said:

Can anyone here give me a few tips on how to handle small kids? Like how to control them and keep them alive as long as possible or until their parents shows up.

 

Tomorrow is Sunday, and instead I got to spend the entire days sleeping and generally being useless, my sister is going to drop her daughter on my house. You may say playing with your niece is like having a shiny talking pet, but this one is particularly annoying as Sorrel Hell.

 

She likes to run around screaming various profanities while flailing her arms around, knocking off lots of stuff.

She usually get this bizarre temper tantrum if I don't buy her ice cream or whatever, which often results in her pissing herself.

And more often than not, she likes to bite. And it's not the playful kind of bite, but the oh-god-I'm-bleeding kind

 

 

Any ideas? Because clearly shoving her to a lava pit won't help the slightest :|

 

Oh that's easy bro! all you have to do is be very enthusiastic about something you want them to do, make it seem like fun to them, be stern with them (when you need to) by talking very clearly and by getting between them and what they are currently occupied with. Those are the only general rules that can apply to most bitty kiddos, other things you'll find are specific to a certain child.

As far as the biting, you should talk to her parents about that one. As for the tantrums, those can be the hardest to deal with, I've always ignored them until they realize that they aren't getting anywhere. Usually by going into another room or pulling out a book and reading it. Tantrums are hard to deal with simply because THEY SUCK! When the you first start to ignore them, they lose their bitty fucking minds! It'll seem like it's only getting worse and worse with each painful second, but it does work, you simply have to be patient. It won't be a 20 minute wait, it could go for HOURS. Now, people will try to tell you that it's traumatizing to the child to let them sit there crying for that long. But they aren't actually crying, nor are they in any physical or emotional pain; they're just making the noises so that you THINK they're crying/in pain.

Send me a message if you need any help with other life problems! I'm always here!

Edited July 14, 2012 by Red

[Sakamoto 103]

  On 2012-07-14 at 3:12 PM, 'zRevenantz' said:

Hope you like reading

http://kidshealth.or...handlebehav.htm

http://www.wikihow.c...ile-Babysitting

http://specialed.abo...handlebehav.htm

http://www.wikihow.c...-To-Handle-Kids

 

I'll shit on everything you hold dear

 

Now that's some interesting read

[zDashiez 496]

  On 2012-07-14 at 3:21 PM, 'Sakamoto' said:

I'll shit on everything you hold dear

 

 

That made me laugh so damn hard Edited July 14, 2012 by zRevenantz

[-0-NULL-0- 22]

Or you could get one of those harnesses you attach to a door way with elastic, I wish they made those in adult sizes

[Titan Rising 2,156]

Stop looking at her as an annoying pest that wants nothing more than to waste your time and start looking at her as someone that you can have a positive influence on?

[weegeez 150]

i would slap them really hard, discipline you know when i was a kid a broke a whole lot of vases in the house and my mom took a wooden spoon and smacked by really hard with it...never ****ed around in the house again

[Sakamoto 103]

  On 2012-07-14 at 3:52 PM, 'Hollowshield' said:

Stop looking at her as an annoying pest that wants nothing more than to waste your time and start looking at her as someone that you can have a positive influence on?

 

It's hard to be positive in front of someone that can easily ruin the rest of your day with a well timed kick to the balls. And she won't stop at that :|

[Skullbuster 1,906]

i could suggest that you kick her ass when she attacks you but im sure your sister may not like that

 

does anything provoke her or does she randomly go off

 

and have you asked your sister how she deals with her?

[Fluttermedic 86]

Read them all 3 parts of My Little Dashie?

 

(Fourth part SUCKS, don't read them that one, it isn't even long enough.)

[One 498]

  On 2012-07-14 at 3:03 PM, 'Kakei' said:

Holy crap, tell me that is sarcasm. I hate children, but not even I am THAT evil to them.

 

  On 2012-07-14 at 3:03 PM, 'Sakamoto' said:

You want me to go to the electric chair or something?

 

Im just joking, who would you think I am a serial killer or something

[Slipstream 84]

Sometimes a positive influence is discipline, not a calm talk.

 

Put her in a rather safe room until she quits her tantrum. It's not a closet, it's not cruel, it's supposed to be similar to her bedroom, as close as you can get in your house. When she's stopped screaming, check to see if she made a mess. If she did, make her clean it up. Repeat as necessary.

 

But then, I'm not a parent or a babysitter.

[Flicker Sweet 3,391]

  On 2012-07-14 at 4:02 PM, 'Sakamoto' said:

It's hard to be positive in front of someone that can easily ruin the rest of your day with a well timed kick to the balls.

 

A cup falls under the madatory list of male safety gear, along with shin guards and steel toed shoes

 

  On 2012-07-14 at 4:29 PM, 'Slipstream' said:

Sometimes a positive influence is discipline, not a calm talk.

 

Put her in a rather safe room until she quits her tantrum. It's not a closet, it's not cruel, it's supposed to be similar to her bedroom, as close as you can get in your house. When she's stopped screaming, check to see if she made a mess. If she did, make her clean it up. Repeat as necessary.

 

But then, I'm not a parent or a babysitter.

 

That's also a very good way to handle a tantrum! I believe that's what normal people (a category I don't fall under) call a "time-out?"

[Slipstream 84]

  On 2012-07-14 at 4:34 PM, 'Red' said:

A cup falls under the madatory list of male safety gear, along with shin guards and steel toed shoes

 

That's also a very good way to handle a tantrum! I believe that's what normal people (a category I don't fall under) call a "time-out?"

 

l feel like it's more productive than a time-out, because there's not a way to weasel out of it unless the kid can pick locks.Screaming and pretending to sob and slamming on the door won't get you out of it. Only calming down. If you made a mess? Lesson on individual responsibility. You just have to put her in a situation where her mood doesn't run the show, because she's a child and has to learn what's acceptable in society. Don't put up with her shit just because she doesn't belong to you.

 

And hey, if your aunt doesn't like your (completely humane) methods, you never have to worry about it again.

Edited July 14, 2012 by Slipstream

[Flicker Sweet 3,391]

  On 2012-07-14 at 4:38 PM, 'Slipstream' said:

l feel like it's more productive than a time-out, because there's not a way to weasel out of it unless the kid can pick locks.Screaming and pretending to sob and slamming on the door won't get you out of it. Only calming down. If you made a mess? Lesson on individual responsibility. You just have to put her in a situation where her mood doesn't run the show, because she's a child and has to learn what's acceptable in society. Don't put up with her shit just because she doesn't belong to you.

 

And hey, if your aunt doesn't like your (completely humane) methods, you never have to worry about it again.

 

That's a very good policy! I've never done babysitting at another person's house. I usually have to handle multiple kiddos through my church or through Boy Scouts.

[Slipstream 84]

It's how my parents raised me when I was still young enough that I thought screeching and flailing was a good way to get what I wanted. They just took me away. My tantrums stopped being performed for the proper audience and I just calmed down. If I started again my dad would make me sit in the car, but I wouldn't recommend that part.

[A Blithering Div 247]

Its not too late to call and say you're coming down with something...