Fanfic: Parso Of Equestria

[ParsoOfEquestria 1,490]

righty-o I have finally written the first chapter of my fanfic that I forced myself to keep going with. I'm not good at writing at all! so yes, some of it may be out of whack. there is a part in it that i gladly rushed through, but I have my reasons why I did. anyway enjoy. warning, it may be a little sad for some peoplechapter 1

Chapter 1: Life, Hate, Love, PainIt was midnight when Princess Celestia was awoken by her steward, awoken to attend the presence of a newborn foal. Celestia smiled at the sleeping newborn, white, baby Pegasus colt before looking towards her steward.“What of the parents?” asked the Princess as her tone was regal and serious“I am sorry to say that the mother died giving birth and the father hasn’t been seen for months”“If that is the case, I will need to send him to a foster family. Send him down to Horsetralia, I’m sure the Spirit couple will gladly take him in” Celestia smiled before looking down at the foal “little Parso Incendiare”Ten years later, Parso grew up under the care of Gentle and Proud Spirit. They made sure Parso was well groomed for school and packed his lunch.“Have a good day, Parso” said Gentle Spirit, Parso’s step-mother. He happily trotted out of the house he had been living in all his life and walked towards another house. After knocking on the door, a mare opened and greeted him“Hi, Mrs. Sprout, is Flower ready?” questioned Parso as he put on his coltly grin. Before Mrs. Sprout could answer, a unicorn filly the same age as Parso galloped to the door“Hiya Parso, Let’s go!” Parso and Flower left the front yard of the house after saying goodbye to Mrs. Sprout. Flower has been Parso’s best friend since they both started school, she had a light pastel green coat, and her mane was long and daisy white, tied up with a pink bow. She always had a smile on her face no matter what was happening. They trotted off to school, they learned Istallion on Wednesdays and they were both eager to attend.Seven years later, Parso was almost a full grown stallion, he realised he had a special talent in the sport of Shooting five years ago, giving him a cutie mark of a Colt M1911 hoofgun. It was 8 PM when Parso got home after going to the movies with Flower, not a date, just a friendly outing. He flew up to his front door and opened it, upon entering his house he was greeted by a furious looking Proud Spirit, Parso’s step-father.“where the buck were you?! Do you have any idea what time it is?! You broke my rules AGAIN!”“c’mon, I’m seventeen! Can’t I spend time with my friends?!”“It was that tramp, Flower! Wasn’t it?! Right, I forbid you to ever see her again!”“Buck you, she’s not a tramp, you plothole!”Proud lashed out and punched a hoof into Parso’s face, sending him to the floor just to be kicked more by Proud. The beating was unbearable, Parso curled up into a ball and waited for the beating to stop.“Piece of trash! Get out of my house, I never want to see you here again!” Parso said nothing in return, just painfully limped out of the house. With tears in his eyes and blood streaming out of his nose he limped up to Flowers house and knocked on the door, Mrs. Sprout’s expression dropped from graceful to worried as she saw Parso covered in bruises, blood streaming from his nose and tears in his eyes“Oh sweet Celestia! What happened?” exclaimed Mrs. Sprout as she gripped Parso in a tight motherly hug, he tried to speak but only let out a croak as his throat felt blocked. “Flower! Come Help!” within no time at all, Flower rushed to her mother’s calling and saw her best friend in the worst shape she’d ever seen him in. “Take him and get him cleaned up” called Mrs. Sprout. Flower nodded and took Parso’s hoof and galloped upstairs with him. She cleaned up the blood and wrapped a bandage around his nose“You’re better off as far away from him as possible, Parso” Flower said as she cut off the excess bandage “but I’m so glad you’re safe” she kissed him on the cheek, she always did that and every time it sent tingles up Parso’s spine. He always admired Flower, but he never had the nerve to tell her, but he thought that right now all that was going to change. He just HAD to tell her.“Flower...” she turned around and looked him in the eyes, it made him feel extremely nervous“Yes, Parso?”“I-I have to say this! Flower...you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I-I-I L-Lov-“ before he could finish his statement, Flower had already had him in a short but sweet kiss. Her eyes filled up with tears of happiness.“I love you too.” Parso happily held her in her hooves and they both fell asleep in each other’s hooves. Mrs. Sprout opened the door to find Parso and Flower asleep together“D’awww, they always were cute together” she smiled as she closed the door again.Six months later, when things started to go good, they got worse. Flower was diagnosed with cancer, it didn’t stop Parso from loving his fillyfriend. He visited her every day, sometimes didn’t leave the hospital for a day and made sure every day there was a fresh batch of flowers in the vase beside her hospital bed. Parso got a tribal print tattooed on his right foreleg, he always thought that if Flower had to live with a scar, he should have his own. After a couple months, she was put on life support.Another six months past and Parso approached the hospital with the biggest smile on his face, he had a surprise under his wing that he was waiting to give to Flower. He galloped through the ward and into Flowers room.“Flower, I have a surprise for you” he kneeled down next to the hospital bed “I don’t want to title you as my fillyfriend anymore...I want to title you as my wife” he picked out the ring he had under his wing “Flower, will you marry me?” Flower burst into tears, but not of happiness“I’ve wanted to all my life, but...” her crying started to thicken. “The doctors told me that there is nothing more they can do, they need to shut off the machine” Parso wished he never heard that and began to cry just as hard as Flower.It’s been four weeks since Flower passed away, Parso couldn’t take it anymore, he sat by the grave of Flower. Still with the scar of her last breath haunting him“It never should have happened to you, why couldn’t it have just been me?!” he picked up his hoofgun resting beside him “I-I’ll be there s-soon, Flower” He trembled as he put the cold, steel barrel in his mouth and rested another hoof on the trigger. He started to shake in fear as he was about to squeeze the trigger until he pulled it out of his mouth and pelted it as far as he could away from him. The gun’s impact with the ground caused it to fire, scaring a flock of crows in the nearby trees.“I’m glad you didn’t do it” Parso turned around to see Mrs. Sprout standing there with a remorseful look on her face. “I know your pain, but you have too much to live for”“What’s to live for? The only good thing that’s ever happened to me lies here”“here, take this, Begin your new life elsewhere, Equestria seems like a perfect place to begin again” she smiled as she handed Parso a ship ticket with Equestria in big, bold lettering.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Land Of OpportunityParso was aboard the ship known as SS Enclave, the other guests on the boat were all cheery and joyful, all except the white Pegasus with the tribal print on his foreleg.“Excuse me sir, would you like a drink?” Parso looked up to see a unicorn stallion with a pen and notepad in a sparkling pink aura“Just something that can deal with pain”“Certainly, sir” the waiter wrote something on his pad and trotted off towards the bar. He came back later with a glass, a brown liquid inside. “Here you are, sir, Equestrian Whiskey” and set the glass down next to Parso. Parso thanked the waiter and took the glass and had a sip. The whiskey burned his lips but it sure tasted good. After finishing the glass, he thought he should only have one as he didn’t want to go completely drunk.The boat moored in a city called Manehatten, when the ramp was erected for the passengers to depart, Parso was the last to get off. He remembered Mrs. Sprout telling him to go to a town known as Ponyville, he looked around until his eyes fixed on a coach with ‘Ponyville’ written across the banner. He ran up to the coach and climbed in, took a seat and out of nowhere a light blue mare sat next to him and hugged him.“Hi, I’m Ocean. Yes, I’m a hugger, I would like to think of it as a full body handshake. Hey you know what, when you get to Ponyville, you really have to meet this filly named Pinkie-Pie, she’ll cheer you up. Why are you sad anyway?” Parso thought this mare was annoying as all hell but maybe if he talks to her, she might go away“I don’t want to talk about it, some stuff is best left unsaid.”“OOoooh, I love your accent, is it Alinglish?”“No, Horsetralian” shortly later the coach pulled up in Ponyville, Parso was glad to get off that coach. He looked at a piece of paper to see where he had to go to get to the hotel he was staying at.After half an hour of looking around and asking for directions, Parso finally found the hotel.“Hello, welcome to Ponyville’s finest Hotel, how can we help you today?” enthused a mare and stallion behind the counter as Parso walked in the door“I had a booking for Parso Incendiare...”“Ah yes, Mr. Incendiare, your room is number five, here’s the key and enjoy your stay” the stallion clerk slid a key across the counter and Parso picked them up“Grazie” Parso thought he might as well show off his Istallion language skills and left the office. He reached his room and threw himself onto the bed, even though it was six PM, the travelling made him extremely tired.Morning finally hit and Parso had awoken, judging by the vanity mirror across the room, his mane was all over the place, so he knew he must’ve slept well. He got out of bed and trotted into the bathroom, turning on the shower and stepping inside. The warm water seemed to relax him a little as he let it run through his mane and coat. Parso shut off the water and dried himself off with a towel, combed down his black mane and left the hotel room.“Well, I guess I can’t be a burden on society, I should get a job” his stomach randomly growled “after I eat something” he gave a little chuckle, maybe living in Equestria was a good idea. Parso set off down the road until he saw a building that was the shape of a cake and stepped in, inside was like your average bakery, all the goods in a glass cabinet under the counter“Hi there son, I’m Mr. Cake, can I get you anything?” a skinny looking stallion came up to the counter and smiled at Parso. Parso had a browse through the cabinet and then up at the price panel“Uhh, I’ll get a muffin, thanks” he placed two bits on the counter whilst Mr. Cake picked up the muffin and handed it to Parso. “by the way, you wouldn’t happen to know if there are any jobs around town, would you?”“As a matter of fact, I think Sweet Apple Acres are looking for farmhands so, I’d look there. New in town? Then you better get out of here quickly and avoid pink mares with curly, pink manes” the last part confused Parso but he took Mr. Cakes advice and quickly left the store.Parso knew exactly where Sweet Apple Acres was, mainly because he passed it several times when looking for the hotel. The view was fantastic from the front porch of the house on the farm, the view of apple trees stretching as far as the eye can see. Parso knocked on the door and waited for an answer, within seconds, an Orange mare with blond hair opened the door“Well howdy partner, Ah’m Applejack, what can Ah do fer ya?”“Uhh, I was wondering if you had any work available”“You bet’cha, Sugarcube, hope yer strong ‘nuff to buck fer apples”“Apple bucking huh? Yeah sure”Applejack took Parso down to the orchard and showed him the proper way to buck trees. He got the hang of it quick enough, at least it gave his back legs a workout.“Hoowee Parso, ya sure know how ta buck them trees, you’ve already done three carts of apples”“just doin’ my job” Parso laughed until his back hooves slipped on the tree and he bucked into the solid most part of the tree, sending a length of pain up his back. So painful, he started to groan in agony“ya’ll ok, Sugarcube?” Applejacks face turned from cheery to worried as Parso dropped to the ground with his fore hooves on his back“Ah buck! Argh! It hurts like hell!”“Ah happen to know a place where they’ll help ya” Applejack picked up Parso and placed him in an empty wagon, she was more strong than he thought. She carted the wagon out of the farm and back into town, where she stopped in front of a building labelled ‘Ponyville Spa’ she supported Parso’s walking with herself as they trotted in.The inside of the spa was rather tranquil and the place smelled like scented candle and incense.“’scuse us, but mah friend here gone done his back in and he needs it put right” Applejack approached the receptionist, the receptionist had a silky blue coat and long pink hair, held back by a headband.“oh but of course, right this way” the receptionist led Parso into a room with tables, most with other ponies getting a massage “just lay up here” she pointed towards an empty massage table. Parso did as he was told, it was a little hard to get up with his back hurting but he made it up there. The receptionist didn’t only attend the reception desk, she also attended the clients, Parso realised when she placed her hooves on his back and began to do her job. Parso closed his eyes and felt the pain slowly go away. During his massage, he felt like striking up a conversation with her, they talked for the rest of the session as the masseur did her job“ok, try moving your back now”“Aah, that feels a lot better, thank you....” the masseur smiled at him“Lotus” she finished his sentence for him“...Lotus” Parso smiled back at her and then followed her back to the lobby, he then left the spa

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: New Friends, New BruisesParso stood on Applejack’s porch once more, he wanted to tell her that he was back in good condition. With a knock at the door, Applejack answered again“Howdy sugarcube, how’s yer back?”“It’s good enough to work again”“Ah really think ya’ll should have the week off, don’t want it t’appen again now would ya?” Parso shook his head, he knew she was right, maybe the week off will give him time to settle in “oh, ah almost forgot” Applejack held a small bag in her hoof and passed it over to Parso “ah think ah should pay ya for yer hard efforts today” Parso thanked her and trotted back to town.It was getting late, it was already seven PM, Parso thought he might go for a drink. He found a bar that didn’t look half-bad ‘The Feathered Unicorn’ was written on the sign above the door, he trotted in and sat on a stool by the bar. After ordering a whiskey and taking a sip, the stallion next to him spoke something in a foreign language while he was looking at his glass“Not from around here, mate? Me too”“Da, I come from Soviestria”“Sorry mate, that place doesn’t ring any bells to me”“It isn’t really spoken about much, some ponies barely know it exists, enough about me. How about you, comrade?”“I come from horsetralia, I’m Parso by the way, Parso Incendiare”“My name is Dimitri Hammer” Parso had quite a long conversation with Dimitri, he was a big bloke, red coat and a black long beard. An hour had passed and they had quickly became friends, they had a few things in common, both weren’t from Equestria and they both suffered losses in the past. “I have to go to bathroom, be back as quick as can”“Take your time” Parso sat on the stool so his back was facing the bar, he looked around the tavern until he saw a familiar looking mare sitting at a booth “Miss Lotus? Fancy meeting you here”“Oh, hello Mr. Incendiare, a pleasant surprise, would you like to sit over here with me?” Parso got off the stool and sat over in Lotus’ booth and had another friendly conversation with her. All of a sudden out of nowhere a couple stallions came up to lotus and started asking her very lewd suggestions“Hey! Leave her alone” Parso wanted to get the stallions to stop, one, who must’ve been the leader, looked at Parso with an aggressive expression“Buck off boyo, this doesn’t concern you!”“When a pony with a sing-song voice tells me to buck off, it always concerns me. Boyo” Parso’s tone getting more serious as he spoke“You want to pick a fight? Maybe after I’m done kicking your plot, I’m gonna show this slut of yours a real stallion”“that’s it...” within seconds Parso swung a hoof and locked into the bastards jaw, then when the other tired to swing, Parso grabbed his foreleg and twisted it until he heard a cracking sound. The leader got back up without Parso noticing and punched him fair in the nose, putting him to the floor in a daze. While the daze was in effect the two stallions continued to kick the hell out of him, until he heard a voice“Hey! You mess with my comrade, you mess with me!”“Oh shit! Bail!” he heard one of the stallions scream and they galloped off“Oh Celestia! What have I caused?! Sir, can you help me?” Parso lost consciousnessParso was in the clouds, not an unusual place for a Pegasus to be, he saw a figure approach him, it was...“Flower? Is that you?”“Listen to me Parso, you will meet a new love, and she’s close. You need to let me go, I’m holding you back. Make my mother proud of you” Flower disappeared back into nothing and a flash of light struck Parso’s eyes and he opened them“argh! Oh colt, it was just a dream” he looked around where he woke up, the room was not his hotel room “where the hell am I? And why does my head hurt so much?” he started to feel the pain coming from his nose with a bandage wrapped around it “argh! That bucking plothole, how dare he sucker punch me.” Parso thought for a while if the owner of the room was around and decided to get out of bedTrotting out of the room, he was being as quiet as he can as he didn’t want to wake up whoever lived here, the place looked fancy, not posh but fancy. He noticed a set of stairs and thought the owner might be downstairs, he took it one step at a time, he was quarter way down until...“Hey cutie!” the sudden voice made Parso freeze and then tumble down the stairs, feeling more pain as he hit each individual step. After tumbling for what felt like a year, he finally hit the bottom. He opened his eyes and felt a great pain coming from his wing, he tried to move it but it was too painful to try. Looking at the bandage on his nose, it went from white to crimson in a few seconds, he must’ve smashed it again. “Oh Celestia”Parso didn’t look to see who was talking, he then heard another voice appear with a gasp“Aloe, what have you done?!”“I only said ‘hey’, he did the rest himself”“Mr. Incendiare, are you alright?” Parso swore he heard the worried voice before. He was turned around to face whoever was moving him“Miss Lotus?” he was glad to see a face he knew. She hugged him which felt like a personal crusher“I’m so glad you’re al- oh sweet Celestia, your nose!” she pointed at the red stained bandages on his muzzle “come on, let’s get you back into bed” Lotus helped Parso up but made the mistake of touching his wing, making him shout in agony “oh dear, you also sprained your wing”Lotus helped Parso back into the bed he woke up in, within a minute, she was already tending to his nose and wing with bandages. Another mare trotted into the room with a guilty look on her face. She looked just like lotus only her coat was pink and her mane was blue.“I’m so sorry, sir. I only wanted to say you were cute”“Aloe! This isn’t the time to flirt with stallions. Out you go, shoo” Lotus shooed Aloe out of the room and turned around to smile at Parso “...Sisters” he let out a chuckle. After a long conversation about Parso’s past and Lotus’ sympathies for his loss, Lotus offered him to stay at her house until he got the money for his own“I appreciate you letting me stay here, but I don’t want to be a burden on you” he attempted to sit up and climb out of the bed until Lotus placed a hoof on his chest and slowly pushed him back down.“you’re hurt and I'm not letting you go until you’re better. You need rest, please, go to sleep” she started to stroke his mane, to Parso, it felt like an angel touch, within seconds he was asleep.

Chapter 4

Chapter 4: To Show My ThanksParso opened his eyes peacefully as he awoke from his slumber, he let out a deep breath and a small yawn as his eyes fully focused, that was the best sleep he has ever had. He heard the door open and in trotted Lotus holding a tray.“Good morning, sleepyhead” Lotus smiled as she saw Parso let out his own smile “sleep well?”“Yeah, I have no idea what you did, but I haven’t slept like that at all”“Stroking the mane, my mother taught me to do that when I was just a filly. Aloe and I have to go to work soon, I made you breakfast here, we should be home at five. Make yourself at home, help yourself to the kitchen and bathroom if you so please. Bye”“Arrivederci.” Parso waved at her as she closed the door. When the door was closed, Lotus secretly blew a kiss to Parso as she didn’t know how he’d react if she blew a kiss to him directly. Parso slowly got out of the comfy bed and trotted across to the tray lying on a dresser, Lotus made him a cheese and tomato sandwich and a glass of orange juice. While eating his breakfast, Parso was deep in thought “Flower told me I’d meet a new love, who could that be?” he then thought about all the mares he had previously met“Ocean, who was really outgoing but annoying as all hell. Applejack, who was honest and helped me out when I was in pain. Aloe, who thinks I’m cute, but also caused me to injure my wing. And last but not least, Lotus, who was beautiful and caring when I was in intense pain, who offered me a place to stay and caused me to sleep better than ever....Celestia! It must be her, she’s perfect” within that thought he developed a crush on Lotus, he wondered if she felt the same way.Parso finished off his breakfast and headed into the bathroom, the bathroom was tiled from the floor to the walls and by the sink was a large collection of makeup, brushes and other beauty products. There was a large spa bath that looked like it could fit four ponies and a shower that looked rather fancy. He thought about having a shower to clean him up a little, the warm water felt great along his wings, he tried moving his injured one and it still hurt. After getting out of the shower, he dried himself off and trotted downstairs.“There has to be a way I can thank her for all this, aha! I got an idea”Trotting over to the front door, he noticed a note stuck to it, the note read:Mr. Incendiare,Maybe I should have told you this too, if you ever need to leave, there is a key on the hook to your right, just lock-up before you go. If you are going to leave for good, please wait for me to come home so you can tell me, I really don’t want you to leave, but your decision is your decision.XXLotusShe seemed really concerned about him leaving, Parso thought it was cute and had no intentions on leaving for good. He took the key from the hook and locked up the door. The weather of Ponyville was fine, not a cloud in the sky and not windy as Parso trotted outside. He trotted around town, looking for a certain shop until he came across a familiar face.“Comrade! Is good to see you healed up, what happened in bar while I was gone?” Dimitri stood there with a smile on his face“Got my plot kicked”“You can say that again, I came out and scared off attackers and carried you to that Lotus’ house”“Thanks mate, I owe you one”“make it a vodka and we call it even” Parso was surprised, out of all the things he could have done, just a drink to clear up a debt, he then remembered that he had a surprise to get“Alright, but we’ll have to make it another time, I have a schedule to complete, see you later”Parso galloped off and eventually found the store he was looking for, he stepped in and hit the bell on the counter. A mare appeared out from a doorway and quickly attended the counter.“Hi, welcome to Ponyville Botany, I’m Roseluck, anything special today?”“Hi, I was looking for a bunch that symbolized ‘thank you’”“Sure thing” Roseluck placed a bunch of flowers on the counter, wrapped them up and gave a ‘thank you’card for free “would that be all?”“Yes, thank you” Parso placed the bits on the counter and took the flowers with his good wing.Parso trotted into one last shop before heading back to Lotus’ house“Hey, welcome to Berry Punch’s bottles, how may I help you today?”“Something sweet and sophisticated, any recommendations?” Parso asked the mare behind the counter of the bottle shop.“Sure, High Manehatten Red Wine. It’s sweet, elegant, but really cheap” the clerk smiled as she placed a bottle on the counter “that’ll be seventeen bits”Parso happily paid and galloped out of the store with both the flowers and the wine. He approached Lotus and Aloe’s house and unlocked the door to get in, The house was still empty.Parso looked at the clock to see the time was 4:30 PM, Lotus would be home in half-an-hour. He ran into the kitchen and wrote on the card, he placed the flowers, wine and card on the kitchen table in plain view from the front door. Parso decided to wait for the next fifteen minutes in the living room, when he stepped into the room, he saw a couch with a blanket and pillow laying over it. Parso suddenly realised this must’ve been where Lotus slept for the past two nights and started to feel a little guilty for taking her room.Fifteen minutes passed and there was a rattling sound coming from the door, followed by the door opening. In stepped Lotus and Aloe there was the sound of trotting until it stopped with a gasping sound, Parso decided to walk over to the kitchen and greet his hostesses“Lotus, it’s for you” Aloe said as she picked up the card, about to read it. Parso leaned in the doorway and smiled, Lotus read the card that was waiting for her on the tableMiss Lotus,I just wanted to say thank you, for all the things you have done for me, for giving me a place to stay. I also want to tell you that I have no intentions on leaving for good, you’ve done so much for me that I show my thanks by giving you these flowers and wine as a gift to show my gratitude.Yours truly,Parso IncendiareThe more Lotus read of the letter, the more her eyes filled with tears, she trotted up to him and hugged him“that is the most thoughtful, generous, kind thanks I’ve ever seen” she kissed him on the cheek, unaware that she did that and quite frankly, didn’t care “thank you so much”

 

 

Chapter 5

 

 

Chapter 5: Good Night, Sweet Stallion

Parso was sitting on the couch of the living room, he has been lost in one of Aloe’s sappy romance novels for a few hours now. He thought about reading it to kill time, until it became interesting. Lotus strolled in with the wine bottle that Parso gave her earlier and a couple wine glasses“Mr. Incendiare?”“Call me Parso”“Only if you call me Lotus instead of ‘Miss Lotus’”“Alright, yes Lotus?” Parso laughed as he asked her what she wanted“Would you mind having a drink with me?”“Of course I wouldn’t mind” Parso sat up properly, giving room for Lotus to sit down on the couch. Lotus popped the cork and poured each glass before placing the bottle down and passing a glass to Parso.“How is your wing?” Parso attempted to move his wing but jolted with the pain“Still hurts” Lotus got off the couch, placed the wine glass on the coffee table. She turned to Parso with a smile on her face“lay on your front” unquestionably, Parso did as he was told and lied on his belly. He felt his bad wing open and then a relaxing feel added to them, looking back, Parso noticed that Lotus was giving his injured wing a massage “now, this won’t heal it, but it’ll relax the muscles to make it heal faster”Parso said nothing but let Lotus do her work on his wing for a while until he broke the silence “you’ll have to teach me how to help ponies like this”“thinking of working at the spa?” Lotus finished with massaging the kinks out of his wing and just played with the feathers“maybe...also, this is a change of subject but I realised earlier that you stayed the past couple of nights on the couch, I don’t want to rob you of your bed” Lotus put a hoof to his mouth“shhh, you’re injured and I’m willing to do anything to help you, even if that includes my own soft bed to rest” she took her hoof away from his mouth“I still think I should just stay on the couch and give you back your room” Lotus didn’t seem to like that idea“fine then, I know what will make us both happy, we both share my bed” she put on a smile, feeling like she just admitted victory over the argument“sh-sh-sh-sh-share your bed?” it felt like all of Parso’s blood went from his circulatory system just to reach his face, and it didn’t go unnoticed, Lotus let out a giggle“don’t worry, I trust you won’t try anything, and by the look on your face, you seem worried I might try something” she laughed once more “don’t worry, you can trust me”Just on the subject of sleeping was making Parso tired, “ok, I trust you, but now I’m getting tired”“so am I, come on, let’s go to bed” Lotus’ words still made blood run to Parso’s face as he followed her upstairs to her room. They both got into Lotus’ bed on either side and covered up with the quilts. As the pair were laying in bed, they realised it started to go cold, “oh no, the heat went out again, I thought I got that fixed, I have an idea that might keep us warm, shared body heat.”“Isn’t that snuggling?” Parso asked with a tone of curiosity in his voice“Yeah, slightly is, I hope theres no problem, it does get cold in here of a night without heating”“Ok, I’ll ‘share body heat’ with you” Parso said in a joking tone. The pair snuggled up close to try and keep each other warm, Parso could smell the sweet smelling fragrances of Lotus’ perfume and shampoo “you smell nice”Even in the dark, Lotus was smiling and started to stroke Parso’s mane again, sending him off to sleep quite quick. She might have enhanced the truth a little, it doesn’t really get cold that they needed to bunch up like this, Lotus laid in bed, snuggling Parso with a smile on her face

any tips on how to improve? tell me your opinions

Edited April 9, 2013 by ParsoOfEquestria

[Lost Profile 644]

Omg!!! A parso FF!!

 

Wow... Awesome start bro!

 

Make chapter 2 ASAP!!!

 

Ya know... I really should start a FF for shade... Even I would like to get to know shade better... Lol

 

Anyways... Keep it up!

[Riclo 160]

 

There were a few grammar mistakes, like near the beginning: "Celestia smiled at the sleeping newborn white baby Pegasus colt"

 

Commas man.

 

The part with cancer was just WTF. Here I am expecting a happy romantic theme, and then that?:

 

"FUUUUUUUUU"

 

Not that that part was bad though, it was good.

 

At least he didn't kill himself.

[ParsoOfEquestria 1,490]

 

There were a few grammar mistakes, like near the beginning: "Celestia smiled at the sleeping newborn white baby Pegasus colt"

 

Commas man.

 

The part with cancer was just WTF. Here I am expecting a happy romantic theme, and then that?:

 

"FUUUUUUUUU"

 

Not that that part was bad though, it was good.

 

At least he didn't kill himself.

 

believe me, i...struggled with the cancer part, but thats a different story why. as for the commas, I'll fix them up right away, cheers for pointing that out

[Twilight_Scratch 13]

Its a little depressing. The cancer part kinda threw me off. Overall decent start. a few format and grammar errors and its a bit of a wall of text but all said and done good start!

[ParsoOfEquestria 1,490]

Its a little depressing. The cancer part kinda threw me off. Overall decent start. a few format and grammar errors and its a bit of a wall of text but all said and done good start!

 

yes the start is depressing, but the rest of the story lightens up as it goes, and like i said, I'm not good at writing at all.

 

and I should also get this off my chest, it explains the whole cancer part and why it was rushed through.

August-Last year my late girlfriend suffered cancer and was put on life support. she didnt make it through, they had to shut off the machines. still from this day, i still hear her last breath and it makes me feel even sadder, people tell me to drop it, but you cant just drop something like that, its a scar. so yes, i based that part on a real event of my life (apart from the whole proposal thing)

[Twilight_Scratch 13]

 

yes the start is depressing, but the rest of the story lightens up as it goes, and like i said, I'm not good at writing at all.

 

and I should also get this off my chest, it explains the whole cancer part and why it was rushed through.

August-Last year my late girlfriend suffered cancer and was put on life support. she didnt make it through, they had to shut off the machines. still from this day, i still hear her last breath and it makes me feel even sadder, people tell me to drop it, but you cant just drop something like that, its a scar. so yes, i based that part on a real event of my life (apart from the whole proposal thing)

 

That made me cry a little so sorry man you had to go three that and expression through story is a great thing ain't it you better not give up on this story my good man. Love and tolerate forever!

[ParsoOfEquestria 1,490]

Chapter Two is finally done for those who want to read it, its a lot more happier than the first chapter, like I said, its not an emo story

[Lost Profile 644]

Darn.... I like emo story's... Lawl

 

Yep! Your doing a good job bro!

 

Although I might not have read all of it... I'm falling asleep on my keyboard... It 12 am... Boy am I smart...

[ParsoOfEquestria 1,490]

Darn.... I like emo story's... Lawl

 

Yep! Your doing a good job bro!

 

Although I might not have read all of it... I'm falling asleep on my keyboard... It 12 am... Boy am I smart...

 

yeah, maybe you should attempt to read when you have more energy just incase a later part reflects on an earlier event lol

 

Chapter 3 is finally done, you will notice a familiar face in the story (i had permission). this is also where Parso's new life begins properly

[Lost Profile 644]

I was hungover from nightmare night last night... But I managed to read it X3

 

It's going good!

 

I gotta get chapter 2 of my FF... But I have an idea involving cristle ponys.... But I want to watch s3 first...

[Dimitri Hammer 3,645]

Enjoying it a lot! Read all three of them, I enjoy very much! Keep up the excellent work comrade.

 

Funny when I noticed Dimitri in the bar...sounds just like him

 

Никто не столовых с разозлился пьяный русский.

[ParsoOfEquestria 1,490]

chapter 4 is finally done, took me a fight of procrastination to complete, but I did it. things are really starting to look up now

[ParsoOfEquestria 1,490]

FINALLY! after murdering the demon of procrastination, I finally came around to writing another chapter for my almost forgotten fic