Forum-wide Pony Swag

[Finesthour 7,287]

(hmm I've been meaning to work on my Parody Rap Project that I came up with after I wrote a bit of a Pedobear Rap, and I figured a Pony Rap would be a great addition since my Project is based around Internet culture (so far the name of the Project/Group is Rule 34) so I'll share my notes and some shit I wrote just now!)

 

Yo! Stop jerkin' off, shut down the porn!

Here comes the Rhymes of Rule 34!

But not the Ponies, that shit is bad!

So Bro, let me tell ya exactly why I'm Mad!

 

Pony Porn be terrible,

That shit's unbearable!

I'm a dignified Brony!

I'll tell ya why I watch My Little Pony!

 

20% cooler like Rainbow Dash

You've never seen anypony like the 'Stache!

Sit down, shut up, This rap is resilient!

Hold your hooves, I'm about to be Brilliant!

 

Imma tell you, Ponies are more than a meme,

With my typical ABAB Rhyme Scheme!

Imma chill here with my homies,

As I tell you about a world of Ponies!

 

Don't let scientists and facts fool ya,

The Moon is moved by Princess Luna.

And the sun be blazin' all day by Celestia,

As they rule the beautiful land of Equestria!

 

You Mad Bro! Come on hit me!

I'll smack you down like Trixie!

This Beat Be Pumpin' like Vynl Scratches,

While you be sittin' there losin' matches!

 

Live Life, Get Bitches, Get Cash,

I don't give a shit as long as I got Rainbow Dash.

All ya'll bitches in this room,

Get down on the ground cuz' here comes the Rainboom!

 

So much cuteness I swore that I'd die

When I heard the "yay" of Fluttershy!

When some Filly be hatin', being absurd,

she's like, "I really really, ... really don't like her!"

 

So those who love Ponies, you feel me?

When I say I love the one and only Pinkie!

She be murdin' up Ponies according to fannon,

And she be blastin' up this place with her party cannon!

 

Don't like Applejack, don't give a fuck?

You ain't got shit on her apple buck!

Filly from the south, accent and hat,

Leaves to Manehatten, but Ponyville be where her heart is at!

 

Rarity always be upper crust, upper class,

She even has dragons wantin' dat ass!

Bein' the on top of fashion, master of the Art of the Dress,

Cuz' she's indisputable, at fashion she's the best!

 

Let's not forget the Pony who's truely remarkable,

Talkin' bout the leader, Twilght Sparkle.

It's really quite sad, it's tragic,

How she'd fuck you up son with her Element of Magic!

 

Sitting here still with homies and chicks,

Tellin' ya'll about the Mane Six.

But I'll never forget, I'll never be a hater,

When I first saw those who call themselves Cutie Mark Crusaders! *SWAG!*

 

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo,

They be sittin' around, don't know what to do,

When the three stood together, stood tall,

When they all felt the must answer the Call.

 

Call of the Cutie!

For it is their duty,

To find their talent deep in their hearts,

and find their unique Cutie Marks!

 

Bloom be Apple, like the 'Jack,

Be the sister of Applejack and Big Mac!

She finds multiple marks that shows she rocks,

but sadly it was only Cutie Pox!

 

Cuteness so Sweet to the Belle,

All who hate her can go straight to Hell!

The Adorableness will make you cry,

As she sings you her Lullaby!

 

The last but not least, I bid you adieu,

With the final Crusader Scootaloo!

She be rockin' all day speedin' on her Scooter!

Personally my favorite Cutie Mark Crusader!

 

People be trollin', Haters Gonna Hate!

But it's a Brony's job to Love and Tolerate!

So here ends this rhyme and never forget it,

NEVER HATE ON MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC!

 

(Some parts are clever, some are terrible, some just need a little work. Plus this doesn't have a typical music scheme (verse, chorus, verse, chorus, breakdown, chorus) nor do I have any part I'd pick as the chorus, I also don't really have a beat either but I guess I could put it up with the beat of Pony Swag. I also don't typically listen to rap music, but I like Paroding it since all you really need is a beat and clever lyrics)

 

GOOD LORD.

 

WE HAVE A WINNER.

[Colon Leftbracket 971]

GOOD LORD.

 

WE HAVE A WINNER.

 

The funny thing is that I'm a complete failure as a poet (rap = glorified urban poetry + a beat). Whenever I was given a poetry assignment in my Creative Writing class it was normally a parody on how I can't write, how poetry is stupid, or on how much a bitch the student teacher was (well maybe a bit more subtle!).

[Demi 545]

Yo, I'm fast like Rainbow Dash and you're more like Rainbow Crash

Your status as MC will be long passed before we even cross paths,

Cause when it comes to the mic I spit more fire than Spike,

And I'm feeling like it's time for a lyrical fight tonight

You think you beat me, ha yeah right

Try as you might, you'll never see the break of light

When I surround you with my rhymes like an outbreak of parasprites

 

Can't come up with much now.. I'll try making a full on MLP one later.

[Finesthour 7,287]

Dizzy, your lyrics are whack,

so here I am to throw them right back.

 

Spike's fire is weak,

so don't even speak.

 

You can't handle Pinkie Pie,

so go to your corner and sigh.

 

Leave the stage to me,

and watch me set my lyrics free.

[Crispy 5,563]

I see you fillies showin' off, spreadin' rhymes like cancer,

Ready for the mic check? 'Cause Crispy got the answer.

Hittin' faster, watch it kid, you're steppin' to the master,

You foals, I got the finest comin' through your ghetto blaster.

 

Ya'll keep your long posts, I like to kick it basic,

Can't see the beauty in it? Son, you need some LASIK.

Rage shit, never gonna stop my MLP spit,

Greed like Spike, drop the mic, 'cause I'mma take it.

 

I see those angry looks, droppin' knowledge like Twilight,

When you step up to the mic, know it's gonna be a long night,

Hard fight, stage is only lit by Luna's moonlight,

Kid, you better know I got you Winter Wrapped Up tight.

 

'Cause when I'm spittin', everypony shows their jubilation,

You simply aren't prepared for such a verbal domination,

Elation, Crispy's back to bring us satiation,

I started this game, show respect for my creation.

[83awsm 234]

Sick thread, always wondered when I'd find the swag!

 

GOOD LORD.

 

WE HAVE A WINNER.

 

Have to agree with ya there!

[Demi 545]

Pinkie Pie stop it, you make me wanna cry

As a matter of fact your lyrics are what's making me sigh

 

Cause you got no flow and you got no soul,

Spitting out rhymes like a foal, if losing was your goal

Now I'm switchin things up like Discord gone out of control

 

Cause I'm like a real OC in a pony RP

You wanna beat me, foo', you can't even see me

[Finesthour 7,287]

Dizzy, I don't think you understand.

 

Finesthour will always be #1

 

You say I have no soul,

 

Well, fuck, I know I'm on a roll.

 

You're disgraced Rainbow with your disgusting trash,

 

looks like you got your lyrics from a bad re run of M.A.S.H.

 

Evetything I write has the power to relieve,

 

So dizzy, i hopey ou now believe.

 

That finest will always be the real OG.

[Crispy 5,563]

Son, your rhyme structure's wack and your metaphors are tasteless,

Finest thinks he's the best? Boy, I say your claims are baseless.

Come and face this, Crispy's here to put you through the paces,

Like the Running of the Leaves, all you can do is chase this.

 

Take a trip to Twi's house, bring some paper and a few pens,

Write out some good rhymes and we'll see if you can rap then.

Until then, I'll grab the mic and put the volume up to ten,

Give the ponies what they want, some real pony swag rap zen.

[Finesthour 7,287]

Crispy,so, we all know that you're cool,

 

But your rhymes are just about as interesting as my bland ass stool.

 

From beginning to the start, everypony knows my name.

 

Until the end of time these facts will always be the same.

 

One, Finest is the best pony to ever show his face,

 

and 2, I'm the master of the f***ng human race.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

Sad that this thread made for swagging

Turns to one of shameless bragging

Bout feats completely unr'lated

To the topic I'd expected.

 

Bronies, step back, look at yourselves,

Egocentrism clutt'ring the shelves;

I see no love, see no friendship,

On this break from my Christmas trip.

 

I need my daily friendship dose,

Not just ponies, anything that goes

For love and tolerance around,

I come here, where I'm happ'ly bound.

 

Yo MLP Forums, buckl' up,

If you've nothing good t'say, shut up.

I'm here for magic, not ego,

If disappointed, I'll just go.

 

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

Pony, pony, pony SWAG

SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG

[Finesthour 7,287]

Your rhymes truly follow your name

 

They have the impact of a tiny fucking feather

 

All your words man, they are just the same.

 

I control you like a Pegasus controls the weather.

 

Try to rap all you can,

 

With your dirty ass rhyme

 

We already know you packed your shit up and ran.

 

You get so scared when shit finally hits the fan.

Edited January 1, 2012 by Finesthour

[Crispy 5,563]

Not bad, Feather Spiral, here's a little tip, though,

Dropping the "e" from your words doesn't help your rhyme flow.

It's alright, bro, but your first try doesn't win, place, show,

In the race for the best rhymes, ya'll are just a tad slow.

 

It's all about the swag, man, all about the pacing.

So take a couple seconds and remember who your facing.

Who your racing, Crispy's out in front and ya'll just chasing,

Free delicious pony rhymes, everypony's at the tasting.

 

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I thought we were supposed to follow the song's rhythm.

Also, I'm not racing AGAINST anyone. I was expecting this thread to be about singing WITH your fellows, not to put them down and then brag about how superior you are.

 

I was right the first time I checked this topic, it's not worth following.

Edited January 2, 2012 by Feather Spiral

[Crispy 5,563]

I did follow the song's rhythm.

 

As for the rest of it, the thread turned to rap battles. *shrug* That's not for some ponies, I guess.

[Feather Spiral 1,892]

I know that, Crispy, there isn't a lot wrong with your post. I was addressing PDP, but I agree that the "racing" part makes a reference to yours.

Also, I've nothing against rap battles. But does "competitive" necessarily equal "offensive"?

 

I whipped up my stanzas in, what, 10 minutes? Remember I was on vacation and exceptionally used a relative's 3G device, so my time was limited and I had other things I wanted to check.

Had I taken more time, I could've made something a hundred times better. But I didn't put all I had in it because, as I said, I come here for friendship.

 

 

Pinkamena: The way you put things reminded me of another forums called YAF, which used to mean YoshiArt but now equals YellingAssholes Forums. They, too, accused me of turning tail and running at the smallest critic - after they weakened my mental defense with relentless trolling and personal insults.

 

Words are indeed like feathers; apparently weak and worthless on their own, but very powerful together and necessary for flying. I'm a colt of words, and without them, I wouldn't be able to lift my spirit through the clouds.

And in case you haven't noticed, I'm rather sensitive about that creativity, or I wouldn't have put "Spirals" in my name.

 

As I said above, I just want to express my artistic aspirations and share thoughts. If I wanted to beat anyone else or prove my superiority the way you guys are, I could've done it well.

But there's already too much competition IRL. I don't need any more of it - much less here, of all places.

So don't compete against me, please, because I won't against anypony.

 

 

@ the thread maker and staff: Why in the hay is this in Everfree if it's a PONY swag thread? Maybe that's why it's derailing; despite the title, the board it is in suggests it's not limited to ponies and can be used for gloating in general.

Requesting immediate moveage to the Hall, or (if the creation rate of art threads is too great) Sugarcube.

[Finesthour 7,287]

Feather, it's all in good fun.

 

None of us mean what we are saying, lawdy.

 

I was just doing a joke reference, gah.

[Broccoli 127]

I'm the Princess Celestia

I rule all over equestria,

No heroism and power can take my place,

I'll just stick a cupcake in your face!

 

Whenever I walk down the road,

Ponies kneel before me with hooves on the floor,

They'll offer me a ring,

and whatever I can bring,

Back to the castle,

Where I stay

 

I'm the tallest and hottest pony alive,

Stallions who sees me will loose their sex drive,

with their wives

 

I'm a pontentate,

My possessions are not something you can take

If you try, you will fail,

and I shall castigate!

I'll put you in shame,

And you will cry like a dame,

Banished will you be,

In somewhere far, far away

 

Don't mess with me, bastards,

You'll just end up in a ditch.

As I'm a great and powerful,

conceited bitch!

Edited January 4, 2012 by The Pinkie Eye