The Good, The Bad and The Discord [Title may change]

[~Chaotic Parsley~ 240]

Hey guys, started writing a Fan Fic a while back then thought I'd add in my OC. I am looking for a "editor" or w/e people call them, someone to look it and see if it can be improved etc. I have posted this story onto FIMFICTION, but its been getting a lot of dislikes but no reasons behind them, which I hate. Like how can I improve something when I don't know what needs to be improved. 

 

Chapter 1? [Prologue] - The Rise and Fall

 

Virtual Blaze

Out in the far reaches of Equestria lay a small settlement of Unicorns and Pegasi who lived in congenial harmony. Amongst the ponies lived a young Pegasi, called Virtual Ember, who needn't care for friends, but more the smell of the wind passing through his mane. He had an act for tactics and was often called upon to come up with ideas for various activities. Every-pony has a not so pleasant side to their personality, his being a boisterous anger, which was uncontrollable at times.

One eerie night, Ember ventured out to gaze upon the sun rise. As the sun began to crown, a nightshade aurora began to emerge from the horizon, blackening the sky. Ember's skin began to itch in the presence of the phenomenon, ignoring this he ran back to the village in fear. Upon his return he stumbled upon an ensuing rift between the two pony tribes, the Pegasi tried to reason with them, however things turned for the worse and he was forced to use means in which he feared.

Ember spread out his wings, beating them hard flying up high. He looked down and could see the feud growing ever swifter, beating his wings harder and faster he gained speed and altitude. Every foot he gained in height, the more the itch amplified, until it started to cut into his skin, causing him great pain. He looked down and saw violence erupt, which caused his anger to reach critical. Eyes blood shot with rage he bolted further higher, blocking out the pain from the never-ending burning. He gained more and more altitude until the burning started to cut through his heliotrope coat, he began to squirm in agony, trying desperately to sooth his cuts with his crystal hooves.

Floating in agonising pain, Ember looked down to see the violence had grown exponentially. The Pegasi's blood began to boil and he let out a mighty roar,
"Why ponies? WHY?!?!", the residents of the settlement ceased their fighting and looked up to see Ember in the moonlight, wings spread wide.
"Why do you persist with this violence?" he yelled, a lone voice spoke out from the crowd,
"The unicorns have spread this ghastly night upon us!"
All the unicorns looked at the lone Pegasi and gasped.
"How absurd!" Ember thundered, "You all know Princess Celestia rises the sun and moon", the ponies looked at each approvingly and Ember's temper lowered. In the corner of his eye he saw a spectrum of colours erupt from the horizon, ripping through the endless darkness.

The spectrum sliced through the night sky and the Pegasi, frozen in place, could only watch as it drew ever closer.
"Move!" came a noise from the crowd, the Pegasi snapped from his fear but before he could move, the spectrum cut through him causing unimaginable pain and pleasure, a single line of white emerged from his opposite, continuing the path of the spectrum. Ember checked himself for any damages, finding none,
"All is well, I am perfectly fi...." the Pegasi moaned in pain, his self inflicted scars began to glow and increase in size, stretching through his entire body.
"ARRGGGGHHH" the Pegasi yelled, clenching his skull. The crowd cowered in fear while Ember's scars circumfused around his eyes, causing them to glow brightly. Ember's remaining skin shattered, intensifying the glow, his mane and tail then became inflamed and set afire.

The glowing died down, leaving behind a fiery form in its wake. The crowd looked on in absolute terror,
"Ar...Are you ok, Ember?" came a voice from the crowd, the pegasi's eye sharply open upon hearing the voice, revealing flaming iris', red at the core. He looked around at his surroundings, noticing how his hooves began to viscously fill with blood. He then centred his attention on the crowd of ponies, cowering from his presence. Angered, from remembrance,
"Call me Blaze" the Pegasi laughed maniacally, he began to spin around at high speeds, forming a mighty hurricane around him, the crowd began to disperse but were quickly sucked up into the storm along with the entire town.
"Ple...Please stop..." came a cry from the centre of the tempest,
"You will all tremble at my power!!" bellowed Blaze, as he stuck his flaming tail into the twister, igniting it. The flaming hurricane scorched every-pony entrapped inside it while obliterating everything else.

Ember awoke to find his entire life shattered before him, he looked around for any survivors to the carnage which was all about. Unable to remember anything to what had occurred, he noticed a peculiar sight,
"Huh, my cutie mark?!" he said, shocked, lifting his wing revealed a flaming tornado on his flank. Ember gasped after realizing the truth and flew off into the nearby forestry.

Mane 6

All was peaceful in Ponyville; Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were out delivering muffins to the members of the community. Twilight Sparkle was out practising more of her transmogrification spells with Spike. Rainbow Dash, a WonderBolts recruit, was practising in advance to impress her heroes. Whilst Rarity was helping AppleJack around the farm.
"Twilight, are you sure this is safe?" Spike asked concerningly,
"Of course, Spike..." Twilight replied, raising her eyebrow, "Don't you trust me?"
"Yes..." Spike replied hesitantly, Twilight lifted her horn, building up a magenta field around Spike, which lifted him from the ground. She closed her eyes and gripped her hooves tight, unleashing a beam of energy towards the small dragon. His body rivalled in pain as his bones crunched, and his limbs shrunk.
"Hey Guys!" Pinkie shouted, upon hearing Pinkie's voice Twilight's eyes opened, revealing nothing but an endless white. Spike dropped from his levitated state and his limbs slowly returned to normal, Pinkie and Fluttershy stepped forward.
"Twilight?" Fluttershy asked "Are you alright?", Twilight's eyes returned to normal,
"PINKIE!" Twilight shouted, turning to face the young mare, "WHY DID YOU SNEAK UP ON US!" snorting, she sat in a huff next to Spike.
"We came to give you these muffins, silly" Pinkie then revealed a basket full of delicious, mouth-watering muffins which made Twilight's ears perk up. Suddenly the basket was snatched by a mysterious being, who disappeared without a trace, all that could be heard was the constant sound of MUUUFFFFINNNZZZZ in the wind.
"Oh we are very sorry for bothering you Twilight" Fluttershy then said,
"It's ok Fluttershy, I needed a break from practise anyway", the three friends sat down and talked about the day.

Later on
"Well it has been lovely catching up with you girls" Twilight said grinning, "However, I should retire"
"You aren't that old yet, Twilight" Pinkie said ecstatically, Twilight giggled,
"No, Pinkie" Fluttershy said "She means she should go home", Pinkie moved in to hug her friends,
"Okie Dokie Lokie". The three went their separate ways, however, as they stopped to view the sunset, a strange aurora began to flood the sky with eternal darkness.
"Holy sh-" Spike began to stutter, before being silenced by Twilight,
"Pinkie, I need you to round up Rarity and AppleJack" she instructed, Pinkie nodded and ran off towards Sweet Apple Acres, "Fluttershy..."
"Yes, I'll go get Rainbow" Fluttershy said, flying off towards her cloud home.
"What are you going to do Twilight?" Spike questioned,
"I'm going to gather up the Elements of Harmony, just in case" she answered "Then I'm going to go find Discord, and see if he can help"
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy left for their respectable locations, only to find them empty. Each scoured the area to find a note saying,
'Gone to meet to meet with [Rainbow Dash/AppleJack and Rarity] in the town square',
each pony face-hoofed and rushed over to find their friends. Arriving at the town square, they indeed found their friends and quickly informed them that Twilight needs them all.
"What is going on?" Rainbow questioned,
"We aren't entirely sure" Fluttershy replied, "Twilight has just told us to round you up"
"Has it got anything to do with this, oh so dreadful night?" Rarity enquired,
"She just said they didn't know" AppleJack snapped, "However I have a hunch that it is".
The group rushed back to Twilight who chucked them each their respectable elements,
"Ok, girls I believe I have found the cause of this strange occurrence" Twilight said with a stern voice, "It is Discord!", she points towards the Draconequus.
Fluttershy stepped forward, "Ar-Are you sure Twilight?" she said, "I mean he has changed"
"I am sure he has but you haven't seen him do terrible things, as I have" Twilight responded, "Plus when we use the elements against him, everything he has done should be reversed"
"I suppose, but what if you are wrong?" Fluttershy said, tears dripping from her eyes,
"Well If I am wrong then the aurora will still be here and Discord is innocent" Twilight sighed, "If...IF...that is the case, we can always just release him, no harm done"
"Every-Pony is agreement?" all nodding, they prepared to face their old enemy.
The group faced down their nemesis, ready to end this reign of chaos.
"You really thought I changed, didn't you?" Discord ranted maniacally,
"Alright girls, let him have it!", their elements began to shine and fired towards Discord, Twilights eyes brightened and she began to levitate, lifting her friends alongside her. The combination of their power had grown and Twilight directed two separate rainbows away from the group; one headed into Discord, encasing him in stone. The other shot up high into the sky and exploded cataclysmically, sending rainbows in all directions to cut through the aurora and bring a natural night. However, the overuse of the elements cause they to shatter into pieces.
"Oh no, the elements!" Twilight exclaimed, looking at the pieces on the ground, Fluttershy carefully stepped through over the fallen statue of Discord. She lay her hoof on top of the stony form, holding back her tears,
"Good guy, friend"
"Oh don't worry, I'm sure we'll find a way to release him" Twilight said softly looking up at the beautiful night sky, "Some day"
Fluttershy gave a smirk and looked down at the broken elements, saddened she trudged back to her cottage.

 

 

Chapter 2? [Chapter 1] - The Plaque 

 

Virtual Blaze
The rain poured down hard upon the grown Pegasi, who tried to find shelter under the branches of a great oak. Lightning struck around Ember who attempted to dodge each bolt. He could hear a deranged laugh come from the clouds, so he went off to investigate, deflecting any offence with his flaming wings. Before he is able to find the source of the laughter he hears the sound of two ponies travelling through the dangers of the forest,
"Do you think we'll find it?" the first said softly,
"Oh I don't know" the other replied, "But I hope we do, this forest is creepier than the Everfree Forest",
"Hey look up there!" the first exclaimed, pointing towards Ember. Distracted from the ponies in the forest, Ember forgets about the constant lightning strikes,
"Look out!" the second shouted as lightning struck Ember directly between the shoulder blades.
The Pegasi fell forwards, plummeting towards the endless abyss, but was quickly caught by a mysterious Pegasi. Ember shifted in and out of consciousness,
"I think he's coming to" the second pony said, walking over towards Ember, the first still beside the beaten Pegasi,
"Y-You..." Ember said with limiting strength, lifting his hoof up to the others rose coloured mane, then passing out.

Mane 6
The sun beat down over the residents of Canterlot, in the palace courtyards a violet unicorn was out enjoying the summer day. She took a mighty leap over the hedges when suddenly, she became entrapped inside a sparkling energy field which dragged her towards a mysterious pony delving in the shadows. The mare looked around the field and noticed that it began to start cracking; she used this weakness to her advantage and struck out with a compulsive spell. Her horn began to brighten and the field cracked out of control, circumfusing around the mare forcing the shards outwards, knocking the figure down.
"Nice use of the force field spell, my apprentice" she said smiling, whilst dusting herself off, "However you will have to do better than that to surprise me!"
A brilliant azure unicorn stepped out of the shadows and laughed,
"Of course." She lifted her pointed hat off of the ground beside her and plumped it on her head "Shouldn't we get moving, master?"
The two unicorns began to head over to Rarity's Boutique in Canterlot square,
"You know you don't have to call me master, Trixie"
"I know, it is just I still remember all those horrible things I did to you and your friends all those years ago"
The violet mare looked up at the other mares glum expression and wiped a tear from her eye,
"That is all in the past Trix, it has been buried for a long time"

The two mares decided to cut through the side gate to the quiet Canterlot gardens to pick up some lost time. They reached the garden gates which shimmered a celestial glow over them. With all her strength Twilight preceded to drive the wrought iron railings forward, releasing a mighty gust of wind almost toppling the unicorns. The pair ventured forwards through the gate, stepping onto the rough pathway which crunched under their hooves,
"Don't forget to close that gate Trix" Twilight instructed, "And try to do it quietly, that gate looks like it hasn't been opened in a very long time."
Trixie held her horn up high and concentrated on the gate, whilst Twilight trotted ahead, pebbles brushing against her hooves. Trixie let out a beam of pale magenta which engulfed the ancient gate, using all of her concentration to push it shut, inch by inch. The overuse of her powers began to weaken her and she couldn't keep the charm going,
'Come on Trix you can do it, Twilight trusted you to do this' she thought; digging her feet into the gravel, she pushed harder. A stray drop of sweat emerged from behind her cornflower blue mane, trickling down her cheek. It distracted her long enough for her charm to fail, forcing the half-open gate to crash shut with a deafening crash. The mare examined the gate for any damages,
'Doesn't look damaged to me', turning on the spot, she was suddenly hit by a falling object,
"Ouch!" she exclaimed, rubbing her head. Wondering what had hit so abruptly, she scoured the area. Finding nothing she double checked to see if everything was fine,
*TING*
'Huh?' Trixie looked down and noticed a mossy, metallic object. Wiping away the overgrowth revealed seven letters inscribed in capitals,
'D I S C O R D' she thought out loud, 'I wonder what that means...maybe Twilight will understand'. The mare began to head in her companions direction when she heard a loud scream.
"Twilight!!" she shouted rushing in aid, finding her encased in stone next to a plinth.

The frightened mare looked around her petrified friend for any clue to what could have caused this,
“Oh what do I do?” she said whilst prancing around “We were supposed to be at Rarity’s half an hour ago.” The mare’s horn then lit up, “That's it! Rarity!” she looked back at her friend, “But I can’t just leave her here!”
The mare lifted her friends still form onto her back, trudging through the valley of statues which stared down on the scared pony. She arrived at the main gatehouse which sparkled white in the sunlight, the mare clenched her teeth and pushed the gate with her limiting strength, gaining entrance to the marketplace.
The market lay in the centre of Canterlot, overshadowed by the castle to the north. It was busier than ever today. Trixie, still carrying her friend spotted some stray blankets and concealed her from drawing eyes. Moving forward slower she noticed a familiar face in the corner of her eye and turned to see a large purple dragon out buying supplies.
"Spike!" she bellowed, the young dragon turned his head in confusion to see the mare struggling to beckon him over. The mare weakened under the pressure and fell to her knees, kneeling she noticed the dragon swoop over towards her,
"Trixie, are you alright?" he asked politely, she took a deep breath,
"Twilight...Danger...Rarity...Get Help..." she said collapsing from exhaustion.