I'd hit you with _________

[Iforgotmybrain 6,945]

I hit you with an apple

[Wingnut 7,018]

An ice cream cone. 🍦 

[Tao 8,843]

My already broken cell phone! 

[Gun Metal Zebra 2,342]

A stack of junk mail.

[Lnx1ynight16 1,788]

I'd hit you with all my kandi! (I have about 1 hundred kandi)

[Tao 8,843]

A empty bottle of water!  

[Lnx1ynight16 1,788]

No, I’d hit you with all my perlers

[Starlight Serenade 3,854]

I'd hit you with a rubber chicken!

[Tao 8,843]

Ima hitting you with pizza! 

[Starlight Serenade 3,854]

I'd hit you with a banana!

[Lnx1ynight16 1,788]

I’d hit you with dirt cake with gummy worms >:3

[Bairro Moetriet Vagrant 1,676]

Such an impish gal. 

Oxford Dictionary

[Lnx1ynight16 1,788]

Hit you with gummy worms

(yay your back)

[deletedfornow 10]

I hit you with the BITE OF 87!

[Starlight Serenade 3,854]

I'd hit you with a pool noodle!

[MintGlow 137]

I'd hit you with a character card

[ThePinkestofPones 6,036]

Pillow! Super soft one!

[Tao 8,843]

Yeah know what?  I'm hitting you with a  so watch out....

[Iforgotmybrain 6,945]

A fish. One of those big ones they put on ice display at fancy supermarkets like Jungle Jim’s.

[Fritzy 2,035]

A pool noodles

[Tao 8,843]

I'm  going to hit you with 

[Lnx1ynight16 1,788]

I’ll hit you with baseballs (yes I’m on my way to a baseball game)