Need Help writing Epic Pony Rap Battles

[Lunar Red 92]

So....I have been recently been trying to write rap battles, but each time I have trouble. I was planning on writing Pinkie vs Octavia and Celestia vs Discord. But when writing Pinkie vs Octavia I was doing badly with Pinkie's ending lines and Octavia starting lines.

 

HERE IT IS (Note this is not my first writing Rap Battles)

 

Pinkie Pie -

 

Its Party Time

Your about to go down

Pinkie Pie going give you a good ol frown

When your music is terrible

And your ryhmes are unbearable

What makes you think you can beat me in Rap Battle?

I make everypony laugh!

You make everypony cry!

When they hear your music

They just go "Goodbye!"

 

Octavia -

 

Just Please stop screaming

...............

 

 

Yay that's it. Um...I would appreciate if someone could give me advice/tutorials/lines or something to help, Thanks in advance

Edited May 1, 2013 by Lunar Red

[SparkBrony 379]

Great start so far!

 

Lesse...

 

Just please stop screaming

and being so demeaning

At least I can really rap in key, Pink.

I can't stand your color

Other ponies can't either,

If I look at you too long,

I think I'll have a seizure.

 

[Lunar Red 92]

Thanks for the lines

 

I'm not so good at writing raps (probably cause I don't listen to rap much )

 

But if you could give me a few tips and tricks that would be awesome

[Dzastur 1,719]

I'm not an expert when it comes to rap, and what I do know is probably considered "old school".

 

But, you might want to mention something about waving hoofs around in the air, and then follow up with something suggesting one just doesn't care...

[elbj 190]

You've got a pretty good start there. Here's my take on it. I changed some of Pinkie's part to make it flow better. Don't be mad  .

Pinkie-

Its Party Time
You're about to go down
I'm gonna turn that smirk into a frown
your music is terrible
And your ryhmes are unbearable
you think you can beat me in a Rap Battle? hysterical! 
I make everypony laugh!
You make everypony cry!
Nopony likes your music
So they run away and hide.

Octavia -

Just Please stop screaming

and listen to my verse

I'm about to drop lyrics you didn't know were words

I'm Octavia, dynamic composer

come a little closer, I'll rock you all over.

My music is surreal, it's message, subliminal 

The notes are so beautiful, you'd think it's criminal

I don't make people cry, I move them to tears

You hear that Pinkie? its your end, it nears.

Edited May 1, 2013 by Jble

[NeuroTypical 64]

Yeah, Octavia needs lots of big words.

 

lyrical/satirical

 

Whereas I graduated from an elegant school, you blunder around like an unrefined elephant fool.

 

All I got now, sorry.

[aRegularPony 306]

Pinkie:

Its Party Time
Your about to go down
Like my mane goes down when I make a frown
When your music is terrible
And your ryhmes are unbearable
What makes you think you can beat me in Rap Battle?
I make everypony laugh!
You make everypony cry!
When they hear your music
They just go "Goodbye!"

Cause I'm a party animal

You're just too much classy

I'll beat you down, give you a frown

And break you like glass.

 

I'll think of a Octavia one later.