adventure The Wolfras By Harmony Spark: Chapter 1

[Harmony Spark 265]

The Wolfras

Key:
Twilight Sparkle Princess Bianca Harmony Star Sweetie Belle
Fluttershy Gilda Spike Hoity Toity
Pinkie Pie Queen Aura Electra
Rarity Diamond Rose Princess Celestia
Applejack Misty Vinyl Scratch
Rainbow Dash Skybolt Scootaloo

Chapter 1: In Sight

On a bright summery day, Fluttershy trots all around her cottage, feeding all her animal friends. ‘Lunchtime! ’ the pegasus called out and in within a second, cats, mice, flamingos, ferrets, squirrels, chipmunks, ducks and bunnies flooded the cottage. Fluttershy handed out a big pile of food on the floor and the animals gorged on their meal in a greedily manner. Fluttershy then sees Angel and three bunnies fighting over one piece of lettuce and stops them by gently saying “Now come on, Angel, why don’t you share the lettuce with your friends?” Angel rudely eats the lettuce, blows a raspberry at the other bunnies and hops off. Fluttershy reassures the sad, hungry rabbits “Don’t worry, bunnies, you can eat Angel’s secret stash he hides when I’m not looking instead.” She shows a huge stack of vegetables to them and the bunnies happily eat the whole pile, while Angel slaps his face with his paw and pulls a jealous look.



Afterwards, Fluttershy is shutting the gate of her chicken coop, when she hears a rustling sound from the edge of the Everfree Forest. “Is-is anypony there?” she cries out nervously. A yip sound was heard. “AAH!” the scared yellow Pegasus yelled and she jumped so high, she landed on a cloud. The Pegasus calmed down and flew to the ground, when all of a sudden; a bright orange coloured wolf cub comes out of the Forest and said to the Pegasus “Hi!” which Fluttershy replied “Oh my, a wolf cub. What are you doing here?”. “My name’s Electra, I’m a Wolfra.” she answered. “A Wolfra? I never heard of those before...” Electra was amazed, “Wow, really?” she replied. “Now that’s weird. I’d have to get the others to-.” “Oh sorry to interrupt, but there are MORE of you?” questioned Fluttershy, beginning to worry but was confused whether the cub was a friend or foe.


“Of course, there are tons of Wolfras and it’ll be so cool to introduce us to your friends, Miss?” “Oh- I’m Fluttershy.” the Pegasus timidly answered, worried the cub might eat her, but she wanted to keep Electra in a happy mood. “Great! Now where did my big sis go?” said Electra. “B-B-Big sister?!” Fluttershy stuttered with fear. One part of her mind instantly knew that these Wolfras are carnivorous monsters that wanted to eat all of the ponies. But another part of her mind thought that maybe she should give the young Wolfra cub a chance, so Fluttershy thinks about this and then decides to follow Electra, to make sure that nothing goes wrong.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was speeding through the clouds, pulling off “super-extreme-aweso-mazing” tricks to impress the witnessing fillies and colts down below. They roared in applause while the blue Pegasus flies away. “Well, that’s another crowd of my fans pleased. Now to get down to business.” she said to herself and starts her weather patrol throughout Ponyville. Then, out of nowhere, a motorbike engine was heard and out came an electric blue wolf with a puffed mane, which jumped on her motorbike so high that she was eye to eye with Dash. She landed safely back on the ground and drove off. Rainbow was stunned by this wolf’s daredevil spirit “Whoa! That was so cool. As a matter of fact, I could learn a few tricks from this wolf.” she said “WOLF?!” She then realised that the new tomboy was a vicious creature, which confuses the blue Pegasus that why would a wolf ride on a bike and show up in town so friendly? Before Dash can get answers, a gang of Timberwolves showed up and started to chase the Pegasus. She flew for her life, but her courage and speed was beaten by the creatures and it seems all hope is lost…

Shortly, the blue wolf arrives on a cliff, facing Dash, shouting “Don’t worry, mate. I’ll take these dimwits down. Watch out!” and she zoomed on her four legs down the cliff and fights the Timberwolves off. She then helps Rainbow to her hooves and introduces herself. “Me name’s Skybolt, what’s yours?” “Uh, Rainbow Dash.” Dash replied sheepishly “Cor, that’s one wicked name!” Skybolt answered “Hey, what’s the matter? You look like you saw a ghost.” “I’m not scared! I’m just a little worried you gonna eat me.” The Pegasus said anxiously. Skybolt howled with laughter. “As if! I’m not gonna eat an awesome pony like yourself. Besides, we Wolfras never ‘arm anyone.” she said, reassuring Dash. “That’s what you are?” Rainbow asked. Skybolt replied with a simple yes and then, Electra sprinted towards Skybolt. “Sis! I’ve been looking all over for you!” she said, with an exhausted Fluttershy crawling on the ground. “Hey, Electra. Dash, this is my little sister, Electra.” The blue wolf said, picking up the cub. “Heh. That’s a cute little squirt ya got there. Bet ya she’s got a need for speed!” Dash replied. “(Exhales) the only thing I need is a REST!” said Fluttershy, exhausted and she gets help from Dash. “Oh, Rainbow, I see you’ve met the Wolfras.” The yellow Pegasus asked. “YOU k-know them?!” Rainbow faltered. “Oh no, I’ve only met Electra this morning and you are-.” “Skybolt.” The blue wolf said. “I’m Fluttershy and you must be Electra’s mother.” Fluttershy asked “Sister.” Skybolt corrected the yellow Pegasus.


After an awkward pause, Electra had an idea. “Hey, would you guys like to meet our friends?” she suggested. The ponies looked unsure. “Don’t worry, they’re not gonna eat you.” She added. “Sure.” said Rainbow eagerly. “ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS! THE COAST IS CLEAR! COME ON OUT!” Skybolt yelled to the Forest. Then, hundreds of Wolfras flooded the area and in the front was 5 other Wolfras, one was coloured violet, one coloured rose, one called neon yellow, one coloured pink and one coloured all white. “Everyone, meet my friends Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Dash, Flutter, meet my friends Misty, Diamond Rose, Vivica, Butterpup and Princess Bianca.” she said. “Oh, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Highn-.” “Hey, girls, don’t worry about the whole ‘royal bowing thing’, just be yourselves, besides I HATE people who hide their true nature.” Bianca asked. “I’m beginning to like this princess.” Dash whispered to Fluttershy. Before the Wolfras and the Pegasi can become friends, the rest of the mane 6 turn up. “What in Equestria is going on here? I heard a yell, loud noises and (gasps).” said Twilight Sparkle, who appears with Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie, who all meet the Guardians for the first time.

“Wha’ in land’s sake are those varmints doin’ in Ponyville?” Applejack asked with a stern face. “Applejack, these are the Wolfras. They are lovable, friendly-.” Fluttershy said, “Awesome wolves from the Everfree Forest!” Rainbow interrupted. “Yes, but they’re wolves.” Twilight debated. “Mean, vicious, super-snarly, could- eat-a pony-in one-minute, spit-dribbling, back-biting WOLVES!” Pinkie Pie added, standing on Dash’s head and bending her neck to lock eyes with Dash. “Now come on, girls. Shouldn’t we show a little compassion?” Fluttershy retaliated. “Yeah, Skybolt here saved my life from Timberwolves an hour ago!” Dash supported. No matter how hard Dash and Fluttershy persuaded their pony friends, they felt like they could never reconsider them to give the Wolfras a chance. “Girls, we are not the same creatures as the Timberwolves. They’re our enemies.” Princess Bianca said to the ponies.

“And we’re not from the Everfree Forest.” Bianca explained “You see, we’ve come from a faraway empire called Caniselia, where I and my mother, Princess Aura ruled over the land for generations. However, a few years ago, a cluster of migrating dragons attacked us. The Wolfra Gods tried to fight back with their powers, but the dragons were too strong. Eventually, they burnt the empire to a charred wasteland and for years, we Wolfras try to find a new home but since it was filled with other animals, which we thought we could share, but the animals were too scared of us, thinking that we were monstrous beasts. Now, we have no other choice but to give up.” Princess Bianca explained “You see we Wolfras are wolves but have the ability to talk and show kindness and love while other wolves show hatred and evil. I understand that you don’t want us to live aside with you ponies.” She continued.


“If you don’t want us to live here, we’ll happily leave if it‘ll make you happy. Come on guys, let’s go.” The princess called out to her subjects and they, all with heavy hearts, walk away. The mane 6 huddle up and ultimately Twilight calls out to the Wolfras. “Wait a minute, I have decided that you all can stay with us, because you guys have saved Dash’s life and since you’ve such a hard time trying to fit in, we’ll be more than glad to help you.” The alicorn replies and the Wolfras cheer and jump for joy. “You know, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.” Twilight said. ‘You’ve said it.” replied Princess Bianca. And with that said, the Guardians and the mane 6 happily go to Ponyville to meet the others. “Oh, just so you know, we DO eat meat.” Princess Bianca adds. “WHAT?!” The mane 6 replied, now beginning to worry whether to trust these creatures or not.

Here it is, my first ever fanfic's first chapter, the Wolfras. Feel free to comment and Hope you liked it! Edited September 25, 2013 by Harmony Spark

[The Swedish Brony 153]

Nice going getting this done. It's a pretty good first write. 

 

But there are some things you should revise. 

Let me explain.

 

The main issue is that it needs to be more descriptive. It is a very simple language you use and you could easily be more thorough with how you portray the location, characters etc. You need just a bit of... feelings you know. Get a little depth. 

 

Also the dialogue needs a similar change. It's a little bit hard keeping track of who is talking and I don't think different colors is going to be a solution. 

 

 

Another important thing you need to ask yourself when writing is, who's perspective is this? It is kinda hard to tell right now.

 

 

Some minor things are that some things happens a little to... rapidly. (Especially the "The timberwolves are our enemies... let me tell you the story of my people, ponies we have just met! You could have something like Twilight asking where they came from and from there make princess Bianca explain )

 

But i do like the concept and there are also no grammatically errors so I'll give you that.

 

 

I hope my advice will help you and i sincerely wish you good luck with your writing

[Yuna Crescent 142]

ooooh well this is interesting, i'm looking forward to the next chapter, and oh goodness i love wolves they are my favourite animal :3

[Harmony Spark 265]

Thanks Swedish brony, it's a big help! I haven't done creative writing in a while so I'm a bit rusty on this. But I'll improve with my next chapter!