slice of life A Simple Memory Prologue

[Solar Shadow 13]

A Simple Memory

 

 

 

Prologue

 

 

 

The Guards

 

 

 

Two guards patrolling the halls of the Crystal Castle right before dawn.

 

 

 

"Hey don’t you think it’s strange that the apple’s here cost more than the cupcakes?" Asks Bronze Armor.

 

 

 

"What are you talking about?" Confusedly Replies Silver Shield.

 

 

 

"Well I bought an apple for my lunch break today and it cost me one more bit then the cupcake I had

 

 yesterday. I’m just saying it’s kind of weird that the cupcake cost less when it has more stuff in it."

 

 

 

"You mean ingredients?" Silver Shield Replies annoyed.

 

 

 

"Yeah Ingredients! I know there isn’t an orchard around here but still it’s like they’re trying to rob me." Bronze Armor says.

 

 

 

*Sighs* "They’re not trying to rob you, now can we get back to work, we have the check all the rooms before our shifts end. "Asks Silver Shield.

 

 

 

"Yeah, yeah. it’s not like anything exciting happens here anyway."

 

 

 

The guards start to check all the rooms to make sure nothing is wrong or out of place. When they hear a faint thump coming from down the hall.

 

 

 

Bronze Armor runs out of a room and yells to Silver Shield. "What was that?"

 

 

 

"I’m not sure lets go check it out." Silver replies.

 

 

THUMP!  

 

 

 

"There it was again what could that be? A burglar?" Bronze yells as he tries to keep up.

 

 

 

"I don’t think so. There’s no way a burglar could get all the way down here without anyone else noticing." Quickly Replies Silver.

 

 

 

Thump!

 

 

 

"It’s coming from the mirror room come on quickly!" Yells Silver.

 

 

 

The two guards arrive at the door to the mirror room and begin to open the door.

 

 

 

 “Bronze Armor be ready for anything!"

 

 

 

"Alright I’m ready." He Replies.

 

 

 

Silver Shield continues to open the door to find three unconscious ponies lying next to the mirror.

 

 

 

 “Quickly check to see if they’re alright!” Franticly yell Silver Shield.

 

 

 

The two guards hurry over to the unconscious ponies and start to check to see if they’re alright.

 

 

 

 “They seem to be fine there isn’t any injuries and they’re still breathing, but how did they get here I’ve never seen them before.” States Bronze Armor.

 

 

 

“I’m not too sure about that myself.” Silver Shield replies “They couldn’t of possibly came through the mirror could they? It hasn’t even been 30 moons?”  He thinks to himself. “We will just have to wait until they wake up and ask them. Tell then we should get them to a doctor just in case.”

 

 

 

“ugh” Says a mysterious Voice.

 

 

 

“One of them is waking up!” Bronze Armor yells to Silver Shield.

 

 

 

“We need to ask him if he’s alright and where he came from. Hey are you alright? Can you talk?” Franticly asks Silver Shield

 

 

 

  “Ugh what’s going on where am I?” Confusedly asks the White Pegasus.

 

 

 

 “You’re in the castle of the Crystal Empire. Do you not remember anything?” Asks Silver Shield

 

 

 

I remember… I remember…. I don’t know what I remember.” As he begins to open his eyes he asks. “What’s the Crystal Empi-.!”His face goes blank with fear as he notices the ponies if front of him.

 

 

 

“Hey are you alright what’s wrong? Hey!?” Silver Shield asks in a confused manner.

 

 

 

The white Pegasus still unable to speak and frozen in fear is unable to make a response. While Bronze Armor continues to check up on the other two still unconscious ponies. When he notices a strange light emitting from the mirror.

 

 

 

“HEY SILVER SHIELD THE MIRROR THERE”S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE MIRROR!!!” Franticly yell Bronze Armor.

 

 

 

Silver Shield Notices the mirror glowing a bright red color and was an odd aura emitting from it.

 

 

 

“Silver what do we do? I’ve never seen this happen before!”

 

 

 

“Go get Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor. They should know what’s going on.” Says Silver Shield.

 

 

 

“Just what in Equestria is going on here?” Silver thinks to himself.

 

 

 

 

To Be Continued in Part One The First Memory.

 

Story By Solar Shadow

 

Editing and Proofreading by BronyDash465 

 

link to Part One http://mlpforums.com/topic/79936-a-simple-memory-part-one/

Edited December 1, 2013 by Solar Shadow

[MinnesotaBrony155 2]

Good. Aurora should be aura though.

[Solar Shadow 13]

Good. Aurora should be aura though.

haha i thought that sounded weird 

[Lonely 93]

ITS VERY GOOD

SO I HOPE TO READ THE NEXT PART

[Scarlet Letter 138]

I'm really liking this! I support you all the way!

[Discount_Flunky 75]

I think I'm going to read this fan fic. . .AH MY OVARIES!

 

 

Alright jokes aside I think that was a good beginning.  I have a few suggestions though.  Using the phrase "Says a mysterious Voice" to describe Solar Shadow's voice doesn't make sense here.  The voice is not mysterious because the guards know were he is and his voice is normal sounding.  Calling it mysterious would make more sense if the voice was disembodied.  Also having the guard use Cadence's full name is a little out of place.  All her subjects call her princess Cadence normally and it wouldn't make sense for him to use the full name randomly here, especially since hes freaking out.  In fact it would make more sense for him to condense the name as much as possible in a situation like this.  Something simple like "Go get the princess!"  

Edited December 3, 2013 by Discount_Flunky