Excuse me while I rant about Nickelodeon's Breadwinners (again)
If I'm allowed to put a swearword in a title, I would, because it needs it.
After re-reading and rewatching angry reviews of Breadwinners, I had the itch to bitch about it again because once isn't enough. I'd stop, but I might've lost a few years of my life, so whatever.
Nickelodeon's Breadwinners really pisses me off! If you think modern Spongebob and Sanjay & Craig are at the bottom of the barrel, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Because Breadwinners is much, MUCH worse!
How bad?
- The animation and character designs are goddamn terrible.
Firstly, the voices don't match the lip-synching sometimes. The movements themselves are very stiff. A bunch of the scenes (hell, almost all of them) rely on stock images slapped and lazily animated, making the scenes look very awkward.
Secondly, these "characters," SwaySway and Behdeuce:
In case you're wondering, yeah, they're supposed to be ducks. Instead, they're geometric blobs. Flash is a tool to create great animation. Like Friendship Is Magic, Johnny Test, and Littlest Pet Shop, Breadwinners uses Flash, too, but doesn't put in the effort to design characters that look like ducks or smoothly animate their puppets!
When Johnny Test, a widely panned cartoon, understands the tools of Flash animation better than Breadwinners, you're doing something wrong! - The "humor" is stupid. Every "kid" joke relies on flatulence or a reference to a butt. The toilet humor is abundant, out of place, and lazy. They pretty much can't think of any joke beyond this or a disturbing "Getting Crap Past the Radar" moment. (We'll get to that later!)
Speaking of cheap "humor," these "ducks" have a tendency to twerk. Yeah, a show with a content rating of TV-Y7 contains a sexually provocative dance. And it's not rare, either. - The two main "characters"? Who are they? The two ducks who are supposed to be two, yet have almost the same personality? They aren't characters. They're obnoxious, disrespectful, stupid caricatures who will annoy the hell out of anyone who wishes to watch the "cartoon" with their brains turned on.
- The plots are shallow at best and creepy at worst. There's a lot of filler to slow the pace. It ignores its own continuity. Some of the concepts and resolutions create unfortunate implicationd. It relies on disturbing "humor" and stupidity to bypass any resemblance of logic or sense. Hell, they break the rules of their own show sometimes to pander to kids.
To make it worse, many of the episodes rip off other Nickelodeon cartoons. And not just the good ones, either. Even objectively horrible episodes from modern Nick episodes (including ones from modern Spongebob) are ripped off into Breadwinners.
The "creepy" part? Some episodes rely on stereotypes for a cheap laugh: Thug Loaf, for example, uses racist stereotypes as a joke. Another episode tortures a main character for simple laughs.
And then there's one that was loudly bashed online: Love Loaf.
If you want to read the synopsis, click the "spoiler."
As they mine for bread, they find a love loaf that nearly killed them. The love loaf will make the consumer fall in love with the first person in sight. SwaySway, who's head over heels for a stock-imaged duck named Jenny Quackles, wants to have her eat the bread so she can fall in love with him, have plenty of ducks and live together for life. But Jenny's in a girl's only summer camp, so they infiltrate in disguise. Near the end, they get caught by camp counselors and kicked out, but Sway won't leave until Jenny eats the love loaf. (Yeah, that ain't creepy. )
That night, they invade who they think is Quackles's cabin (and the door tile #6 flips to #9 as they slam it [yeah, a 69 reference]). Sway sings a disturbing song to the sleeping "duck"…who turns out to be the three camp counselors that confronted them earlier. The officials eat the bread and fall in love with the two ducks. They kiss them to the point of getting smashed into a wall, brawl, hold the ducks against their will, and then lick them. The ducks run away with only their underwear and leave the camp.
Yes, this episode — in a cartoon "suitable" for kids five and up — USES A FUCKING LAZY RAPE JOKE!!
The saddest part? This show was rated #1 for kids ages 2-11 for a few weeks…and it's being renewed for a second season.
- 7
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