Today is the day I've been dreading since the end of December last year.

Six years ago today was the worst day of my life, and will forever be the worst day of my life.

My wife died six years ago today, and every year since her death I've been in a bad mindset. I always wondered how I didn't end up killing myself these past years. Some kind of miracle I suppose.

For the first two years I was invoked in "other" activities and was a emotionless "hollow man". After that I became utterly depressed every time December came around. I'm still horridly horridly upset over it and I will never get over her, but I know that ending my own life is moronic. She wouldn't want me to do that.

I think the reason I'm a lot happier this December compared to the past ones is because of this place. All of you and ponies have somehow made me find some kind of innocence I've been missing.

I'm still sad of course, but I no longer wish to be dead. All of you have really made a difference in my life, and the ones who have made a major impact know who they are.

I have done the things I've done since she died. I've said my prayers today, baked her favorite dessert and bought her favorite flowers to keep in my house.

Now, my wife loved Disney movies. I mean, she LOVED Disney movies. Her favorite one was Tarzan, and I usually listen to her favorite song from that movie. I've listened to it today and I'm content with myself now. She loved America so much, I wish I could've had the chance to being her here....but I feel good and happy and I love all of you.