What a terrible Thanksgiving this has been
Like clockwork. I was actually looking forward to Thanksgiving. Going to my mom's or something, having a nice meal, hanging out with family. nah, didn't fucking happen. I went to my grandma's, on my dad's side of the family, whom I hate almost everyone in, had some Turkey, some mashed potatoes, with no gravy or anything extra really because there wasn't any. Then I went on a walk around town. trying to be positive you know. Just looking at the simple joys. Then I go home and I ended up passing out because I didn't sleep well last night and there wasn't anything going on so I drifted off to sleep for a bit. Woke up around 9pm.
Then I find out that my mom and a bunch of family on her side went to Indianapolis for Thanksgiving. I wasn't asked, at all. She thought that 'I wouldn't want to go' so she didn't even consider asking me. Lovely. So that is a bit mood crippling on its own. Then I found out my brother, one of the only people I can connect with in my family, him and his girlfriend went somewhere today, a few places actually. Was I ever considered? Nope. Not even once. I was never told. Never was asked. Sure, I spent around $50 or so on my brother in the past month despite my limited funds, because I want to be a good person despite me being entirely worthless. I guess that isn't even deserving of going somewhere with him.
And that is it. That was my Thanksgiving. Wasn't even really a Thanksgiving at all. Completely ignored by most of my family, having no friends to hang out with and now I literally feel nothing. I don't want to play any games, I don't want to do anything. Can't bring myself to fucking care. Tomorrow is Black Friday and Cyber Monday will also be upon us, but I don't have any extra funds, so who cares.
This is currently one of the worst nights I have had in a very, very long time. I guess learning that you are entirely insignificant to your family will do that.
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