CORPORATE HASBRO CEO SIMULATOR (My Little Pony: the Gameloft Game)
So for the half-person who waited for my livestream, it was cancelled (whoops ). Reason? Technical errors with the sound. (Not to mention two copyright strikes for a video that wasn't up for a minute)
Beside that, I've got another computer-related blog (it's the last one, probably) on the way cause . . . I GOT A NEW LAPTOP! Finally after a good 8 or so months, I finally have a computer to call my own and respect (I'm looking at you, chromebook). I'll get into the specs later.
What do I do with that computer? Counter-Strike, that's it. Skin Insanity Stage 4, gotta get more skins. On the contrary, I grew sick of the Steam Guard thing so I decided to download BlueStacks, a Windows Application enabling Android Emulation. I downloaded Steam and finally finished that silly security setup (it's really dumb; who needs it?). On my way out, however, I remembered an Equestria Daily entry about a My Little Pony Gameloft game. So, instinctively, I checked it out and downloaded it.
First thing you'll probably see (if you ever decide to check out Bluestacks) is that everything lags pretty bad. Even on a brand new laptop, it still lags (no surprise there). So I got to enjoy the "alternate intro" to the game. (It's Episode 1's intro, but with Twilight in it for some reason. [Also: Celestia sounds weird]) It chopped every half second, so that was enjoyable. Loading takes forever on first boot. My first boot I was greeted to a lovely loading screen that took a good 4 minutes to complete. After that, I experienced that splendid Hasbro Logo accompanied by a second loading screen for updates that took another 12 minutes. Finally, when all was good and done, I got to experience the entirety of the game. Whatever that is.
The tutorial is pretty simple, give Bon Bon a home and play with Twilight a bit. I kinda wish they had an Amie game to play with the ponies you buy . . . but there's not time for that; we need to get straight to business! (And I thought the Monopoly game was bad). My Little Pony: The Game is an in-game purchase hell. Everything you do is for more money. Play a game with balls? BOOM! Gimme your 200 bits. Want Rainbow Dash to bake cupcakes? BOOM! 2000 for Dash, another 800 for the bakery! Want that super special pony that's limited only to the weekend? BOOM! GOTTA BUY A 50 DOLLAR BONUS PACKAGE INCLUDING NOTHING BUT TREES!!! At least I get the experience of Hasbro's CEO. All I'm missing is a stamp titled, "DMCA".
There's really not much to say about this game. Buy the souls of your favorite characters, then buy some other characters that've never been in the show and force them to work in your mediocre bathhouses. It's pretty much the game of "Life: Brony Edition".
BUY OUR TOYS; YOU CANNOT RESIST
-RealityPublishing
Edit: The animations are still kinda cute, though. A little awkward at times (recycled animations for every single pony), but still very, very cute.
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