Transgender Life
This is similar to my "Work" series of blogs, except instead of talking shit about my job, I'm going to be talking shit about my regular day-to-day life. This simulated day is Wednesday, the day of youth group.
10:45 am: *waking up* "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH... fifteen more minutes..."
11:00 am: "EEERRRRGHHH... Up and at 'em, Erika, we need to do some school..." *I check my body to see if I magically transformed into a girl over the course of the night* "I didn't. Damn it."
11:05 am: "Check the forums... check Facebook... check YouTube... aight, time for school. Log in... *sigh* Math time again. Why does she give us so many damn assignments? Jesus, it's like she's the master of pain or something..."
12:30 pm: "Okay, I know I SHOULD do more school today, but I don't feel like it. I'm done for the day. Let's go get something to eat..."
1:00 pm: "Damn it, I have to pee." *accidentally catch sight of my face in the mirror* "Motherfu- whatever, let's just get this over with." *accidentally catch sight of face again* "Ugh... well, my eyelashes are sort of long... better than nothing, I suppose..."
2:00 pm: "YouTubers, y u no upload anything?! Whatever, let's go play LotRO..."
2:30 pm: "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING 100% PERCENT OF THE CPU?!!!"
3:30 pm: "Getting bored with LotRO now... Thousand Foot Krutch time!"
4:00 pm: "Why do I always sing along? Why do I constantly remind myself of my awful voice? Ehh, whatever..."
4:30 pm: *Dad walks into room* Hey Cameron, you gonna take a shower for youth group? "My name's not fucking Cameron! And yes, I'm not a fucking two year old child, dad. I can take a shower WITHOUT you constantly hounding me about it..." Yeah, dad, I'm gonna go in the shower in a little bit.
5:00 pm: "Shower time..." *look at body in mirror* "You make me want to cringe, you disgusting piece of sh- nevermind, let's just get this bloody shower over with."
6:00 pm: "Off to youth group..."
6:15 pm: "Why do I even come here anymore? I hate the lessons, the food always gives me stomachaches, everyone here calls me "Cameron", I get made fun of for painting my nails... the only reason I come is to hang out with friends, who usually never show up. This is such a great use of my time..."
6:30 pm: Game time! "Oh goody, another game where I can get made fun of for how weak I am... did you fuckers ever consider that maybe I don't want to be tough? Maybe I like being weak and sensitive? Hmm? Did you ever think about that? Of course you didn't, you assholes..."
7:30 pm: Lesson time! Everyone gather 'round! "Nhaa, I'm just gonna stay out here, eat some Skittles and read The Hobbit. Much more entertaining and worthwhile."
8:30 pm: "And the lesson is finally over... I can go home now, thank God..."
9:30 pm: "ELLIOTT!!!! Quit talking to your stupid friends, let's go already!"
10:00 pm: "Back home, finally..."
10:30 pm: Goodnight, Cameron. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF YOU CALL ME CAMERON ONE MORE DAMN TIME, I'M GONNA-" Goodnight, dad.
11:00 pm: "Soda time..."
11:30 pm: Re-watching Ashens videos for the millionth time... Still more entertaining than sitting around at youth group..."
12:00 am: "Erika requires more soda..."
1:00 am: "And I'm done for the night. Time for bed." *put on lounge pants* *lay down in bed* Dear Lord, if you can find the compassion in your evil, disgusting black heart, could you MAAAYBE turn me into a girl over the course of the night? I'd be much obliged if you did. "Who am I kidding? When has God ever listened to me? He doesn't care... Whatever, just a few more years of unimaginable agony before I can get the sex change..."
- 3
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