Woke up from a nightmare, and tripped getting out of bed. What a great start.....so....

Another year gone by. So much happened between last year and this year. Good things, bad things. Another addition to my age. Twenty-seven years old. Pretty much seven years of borrowed time now. Borrowed time, you ask? (Though I doubt anyone asked that...) yes, borrowed time. My stupid, depressed self, still believes I should have died in 2006 on December 14th. A part of me still wishes I died then. Would life have been better? Maybe. Would my wife have been alive, and better off than how I lived my life? Whatever I guess. The past is done, nothing I can do to change it now....

Well, three more years and I will be thirty. Amazing how time seems to move so fast. On Wednesday I will be leaving the forums for a week or two. For my birthday I will be going on a "spiritual journey" to the 'Magic Bus' on Stampede trail. Where Chris McCandless died on August 18th, 1992. (American dates are hard for me to write sometimes....not know why...) but I will be headed there with a backpack, a gun, and some supplies. Live in the wild, and hopefully find myself through this.

My friend Daniel keeps wanting me to not go, and that really hurts me because I not want him to be afraid of me leaving. Just have to reassure him I will be fine. My brother says he knows I will do excellent out there. He is always so supportive.

Alright....yeah....is my birthday. Born November eleventh, 1986 in Leningrad to two wonderful parents....well more like one wonderful parent. I guess the good thing about this year is the fact I got over my major depression. I do sometimes feel some pain, and the feeling of wishing to stay in bed and just never get up, but I feel so much better still. Better than I did. No longer wishing to kill myself.

Happy birthday me. Hope when another year goes by, it will be good.