Clod

I never got a "retired staff" thing on my profile despite technically being staff for a short while for the reading thing that was (is?) happening smh

hey so it turns out horse cartoon is still fun and enjoyable

probably gonna finish later

Alright. What is it? Why do I always miss all this? I keep missing my time in this fandom and this site. It'll never be the same! I don't get it! I know I can never truly go back. I know that if I finish watching the show today I wouldn't enjoy it like I used to. I know that coming here doesn't mean I get any of my friends back. I'm never ever going to have even a similar experience if I try. So why? Why think about it so much? What's the point? It's over. I've been forgotten here. There's no enjoyment to be had. I actually tried coming back here some time ago because I miss it. Shit, I don't even know why I came here to type this. Nostalgia? Is that all? Why's it so strong?

Every time I think about my time here, on this forum or just in the fandom, it's nothing but good. I loved it. Why did I even leave? No idea. I think it was depression, honestly. But then... that leaving was somehow final? I'm better now. So why can't I enjoy it again? Is it because I'm older? If so, why do I keep wanting to be back? It's not like I'm old here anyway. I'm only 19.

I don't know. I don't know what it is. It's not even something I think about a lot. But whenever I do I miss it. I guess this time it was enough to even bring me to log in to this site again. Maybe it'll be enough to get me to actually watch season 9. I'm thinking about it, but is it worth the effort? I don't know. Even my girlfriend who was never into the show as much as I was has finished it. Why can't I?

I just don't know. I'll try again, I guess. I'll try watching it. Maybe come back here again if I feel like it. Who knows? Maybe finishing the series will get me motivated enough to try.

Edit: Y'know, I don't really know why I bothered writing this. Maybe someone will read it? Idk. But I'm probably gonna do the same thing as always: get super nostalgic and then just disappear.

haha epic cool i can't manage my job so i'm quitting haaa

yet another reason clod is a failure

i swear this place fucks me up somehow

i leave early in the year and days later everything magically starts being good

i come back and my life is falling apart again

What's this? A day where the heat won't burn me alive? Impossible.

Looks like autumn really is almost here. Can't wait.

So glad every day of work (at least until the 20th, don't know past that) is going to be late. Less sun, more night! Can't wait to stay up late more often 

Y'know how I said I'm behind on S9?

Well I'm planning on fixing that over the next few days. I'm finally going to get caught up with MLP before it ends. I don't think I've been caught up since around season 5 so this is kinda exciting.

Do we still have one of those links that explains all of the ranks? I have no idea what they are now.

Oh man. It's been a while.

Just kinda here because I went on an old YouTube account of mine and saw some nostalgic pony stuff. Then I remembered this place. The good times. The less good times too. Nights lying awake in bed on a shitty old iPod Touch here. Wishing I could go to Bronycon. Apparently that's gone now. Dang. And just loving MLP more than... pretty much anything.

I... almost miss it? I know I can't go back. I don't think I miss what it was anyway. I miss how it all felt. Being excited for new episodes. Talking about pony. Finally finding somewhere I felt like I fit in. But if I tried now, it just wouldn't be the same.

I miss this place, the friends I'd made. Most of them are gone. The people I did have by the time I left didn't care for me much really. At least, it didn't feel like it. I wasn't exactly doing so well, so I apologize if I'm wrong.

And now I'm not even caught up on the newest season. I think I only watched the first three episodes. I keep saying I'll watch them, but it feels almost... wrong. Like I'm trying to force myself back into something I just don't do anymore. In reality there's nothing wrong with watching it. I want to finish what I started. After all, that's how I got here in the first place. Finishing the first episode and telling myself I couldn't leave it unfinished and going onto the 2nd part. "I can't just leave a story unfinished." That's what I told myself somewhere around February 2013, laying in bed in my old house refusing to admit I'd liked an episode of a cartoon for little girls. I was a teen boy (almost), there's no way I could've been into this stuff. And then I was.

But I can't really look around too much due to my fear of spoilers. What I have seen, however, has been nothing but nostalgic.

Sometimes I think maybe I could use a little bit of the innocent pony show in my life again. Sometimes I think there's no point. Either way, I'm grateful for what it did for me in the past. In the worst times, it was there. This forum was there. The fandom. It was the light in my dumb dark mind. I'll never forget it. 

Now... I wonder how the Banned Game is doing...

Fluttershy is still best pony btw

Edit: Do I click it? 

hey i know no one really cares but i figured i'd post a little update on my life since i left

things have been going well somehow

depression's basically gone and i'm getting a job soon

i've never really been better

i thought i'd have more to say oof

but that's kinda it

figured i'd make a positive status update be my top one, at least until i probably eventually come back to post something else months from now

AYYY I'M BACK

lmao april fools

tbh fuck the nfl

so pissed i gotta come out of retirement to make a status update real quick

hey, new year's supposed to be for change right?

well

i think it's time for a change in my time here.

as in, i'm done.

there's nothing left for me here.

not saying i'll never be back, because i do struggle with leaving things behind sometimes.

but really, there's no good reason for me to be here.

i don't have anyone here.

i've known some of you for a long time

but really, i don't talk to anyone and nobody talks to me

it's been an interesting 5 years. but i think 5 is more than i needed. i mean this is something i've been thinking about for a long time. but i just couldn't leave all this behind.

now i see that it's for the best. i'm at a point where i'm just reading status updates and brohoofing them, and posting an occasional one myself that people don't actually care about. i'm just someone that exists here, a few people know i exist, but that's it.

thank you mlpf for getting me through some shit in my early time here, even though almost everyone i talked to back then has since left. it was fun.

i'm leaving my discord thing on my profile in case there is anyone that wants it, but idk how much that matters.

goodbye.

first person to guess the numbers on my visa gift card can have the $1 that's left on it

i don't want to make it too hard, so here's what i'll leave you with:

**** **1* **** ****
**/**
***

good luck

You know how annoying it is when you're watching a video and you hear a Discord notification so you think someone messaged you? That just happened to me. Difference is, there was no video. There was no notification. There was no sound. Nothing actually happened. I fucking heard a Discord notification that didn't even exist. I'm laying down, trying to fall asleep and ignore my mind going places I don't really want it to. And then it does that shit. A completely non-existent Discord notification sound.

I just want to sleep.

nothing even happened but today's been shit lol

them: lol it's unfortunate that you can't call, i actually could for once

me: wait i can on something else

them: actually i can't lol

fucking nice. always have a reason you can't, until i truly can't, except once i realize i actually can there's a reason you can't again. cool.

it'd be easier if you'd just admit you don't want to talk to me.

turns out my new earbuds were some bootleg shit that sounds like shit because they're shit

so i took the microphone apart (already didn't work) and found that it was different from my old, real pair (which broke after months of use)

the actual in-ear parts did not come apart after stomping on them, gave up

conclusion: watch where you buy stuff, if it's too good to be true it probably is and headphones aren't going to be super cheap compared to their normal price.

alright i know i promised a christmas status update that would leave you in tears. it took a bit longer than expected, and i may or may not have fell asleep for a bit. but it's here, and it's finally time to share it with everyone. it's a bit of a long read though, so it's in this spoiler.

thank you for reading, have a wonderful day.

get ready for new christmas status updates as it becomes the 25th in different time zones, or people wake up on their 25th.

i personally have a really special one planned, in an attempt to make it truly better than the rest. to make it important. it won't just be a "merry christmas" that you've seen a million times. by the end of it, you'll be in tears.

it's gonna be beautiful. just wait and see.

elon musk should move to africa

i hear there's a country where they get pretty mad at gas cars

Fucking love baked potatoes honestly

all i want for christmas this year is a competent fucking team on forza so i can win this prize and never do it again

whose idea was it to make a team-based multiplayer event where everyone's in hard to control trucks in a game where 90% of the players are shit? and worst of all, the difficulty has to be set to unbeatable.

i just want my damn santa suit

Pretty incredible how Bethesda, which was once a pretty alright game company, has completely ignored the mistakes of other companies and instead became the same as the others.

I was once excited for Elder Scrolls VI. Now I'm just worried for it. I don't trust Bethesda anymore.

It's like people asking for Skate 4 from EA. Maybe if it came out soon after Skate 3. Today? It's best that it's left at 3. The series ended with a good game. Let it stay that way.

i'd say shadows are pretty heavy

i mean, they definitely aren't light