Clod

all i want for christmas this year is a competent fucking team on forza so i can win this prize and never do it again

whose idea was it to make a team-based multiplayer event where everyone's in hard to control trucks in a game where 90% of the players are shit? and worst of all, the difficulty has to be set to unbeatable.

i just want my damn santa suit

Pretty incredible how Bethesda, which was once a pretty alright game company, has completely ignored the mistakes of other companies and instead became the same as the others.

I was once excited for Elder Scrolls VI. Now I'm just worried for it. I don't trust Bethesda anymore.

It's like people asking for Skate 4 from EA. Maybe if it came out soon after Skate 3. Today? It's best that it's left at 3. The series ended with a good game. Let it stay that way.

i'd say shadows are pretty heavy

i mean, they definitely aren't light

so much sleep
just did like 13 hours with a bit in the middle where i had to eat

and it seems for the past week or more i've just been sleeping way more than usual

edit: i also woke up at 1 am but only for a couple minutes

The seemingly endless wait for 1 PM for the release of Forza Horizon 4's first expansion is terrible. I want to sleep a few hours to skip a little time lol.

Hell yeah, little walk in the snow early in the morning. Nothing better than walking in the cold until one of your knees decides it's bored and wants to go back home.

i clicked a place on google maps once and now i keep getting ads for it on youtube constantly

no, i don't feel like buying wood pellets from the hardware store.

hey, i'm back i guess

coincidentally it's also the 5th anniversary of me joining this forum

i've been here for 5 whole years

holy shit

alright yeah

i'm gonna leave for a while

if anyone cares, my discord is on my profile

though i know that's not going to lead to anything so idk why it's even there

i just need a break or something idk

just don't feel like i should be here atm

i have two choices

1. keep trying to post here in a futile attempt to have some kind of human interaction outside of my ex (still friends dw), even if it's online and nobody actually wants to talk to me so the most i get is a reaction or two on whatever worthless shit i post, which is negative 99% of the time so nobody wants to read anything i post
2. give up and let the loneliness consume me

and man, both choices suck.

feels like everything i do is pointless, really. i'll never get anywhere in life because i don't know how to not fuck up everything, and i can never have any meaningful relationship, friend or more, because i don't know how to. i'm only ever boring or annoying. and i can't get a job because i fucked up everything, and nobody wants to hire me.

do i even want a job? most i'd ever get is retail. i don't want to work in retail. or any other job really. i hate existing enough already.

am i better off dead? i don't think i can give a selfish reason for myself to stay alive. only to keep people from getting upset. which is basically just family and my one friend, my now ex. i'll never actually achieve happiness. not when i consistently ruin everything. not when i can't get a job that wouldn't make me want to die. not when i can't actually enjoy doing anything.

yet i keep existing, i guess.

and if you're wondering, this isn't related to the previous status update. if you've ever known me, i've been like this a very long time.

see you all next time when i either make another depressing status update or say something stupid in an attempt to be funny. depression and shitty humor are all i've got lol

Update: Finally got a message.

Fuck.

gotta love when you see a discord notification and hope it's the person you've been waiting all day to talk to only to find out it's an @everyone.

keep your windows open in the winter

pros:

• drinks stay cold
• wear comfy warm clothes
• water is cold without being in fridge
• nice outside air

cons:

• my spaghetti and garlic bread got cold really fast