Catpone Cerberus

How can something inside your head hurt you so much? it's over 3 am and I should go to sleep, but I don't want to wake up, I don't want to start a new day, I want for the time to just stop. I don't even know why I'm writing this, and I don't know if I'll ever press submit. why to bother when nothing matters, when nothing feels anything? I feel like crying...no I wanna cry, but I can't, it just doesn't come out, something inside me doesn't let it to. I know I will forget this feeling when I fall asleep, but it comes back next evening, it always does. but why should anyone care? I don't care, so why to expect it from others? why am I writing, and who am I writing to, myself? you? if I really end up posting this? the pain stopped, now there is just emptiness, a void that sucks every emotion. I feel nothing, I'm numb, I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, my computer's muffled humming through my headphones, I can see my keyboard, my fingers moving from letter to letter, but I feel nothing, I'm just a machine writing down things that i don't have time to think, I don't know what next word will be, and I don't care. It's funny isn't it. time just passed 3.30, time keeps ticking. I can feel this...feeling inside me, like pressure. it doesn't feel nice, but it doesn't hurt either, it just is. i can hear my slight tinnitus taking over my hearing, there's nothing else now. I'll now force myself into the bed.