Stone Cold Steve Tuna

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About Stone Cold Steve Tuna

  • Rank
    Bird
  • Birthday 07/05/1992

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    90377 Sedna
  • Personal Motto
    What doesn't kill me had better start running.
  • Interests
    Astronomy and I write sometimes. Write drunk, edit sober.

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  1. You know what I learned today?

    People are so incredibly brave when there’s a bulletproof pane of glass separating them from you.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      I had the audacity to ask a guy which of his 268 accounts to put his money into.

    3. Duality

      Duality

      You know what I learned today?

      They're only incredibly brave if the bulletproof glass isn't also separating me from a blast furnace.

    4. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Fun fact: there are two bullets wedged into my branch’s drive up window from gang violence across the street.

  2. Bonk.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. A.V.
    3. Widdershins

      Widdershins

       But why do thee bonk? Does, in your bonking, you implicate a certain response with which there is a proper retaliation to react to said bonk? When thy bringth thy bonk, to what they do I come back with to aforesaid bonk? 

       Where is bonk? Why is bonk? Tu esa de Bonk?

    4. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      It's a known fact that bonk is knob. Knob is bonk. Onk is short for oncology. Peed onk specifically. On is no is know is now is later.

  3. Story idea: A pregnant woman goes into labor, but instead of a baby, she births a large egg. The doctors cannot see within it at all but they know it is alive. She loves it as her child. She cares for it, she embraces it, she keeps it well insulated, and she defends it as her "baby" when confronted by her husband and friends and told to get rid of it. She remains loving to it even as her husband leaves her, her friends cut ties, her family disowns her. All she cares for is her egg.

    They shut the power to her house off. Then, the egg begins to crack...

  4. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

    Hearts and Hooves day

    Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red My garden is on fire. That’s love inducing poetry right there right
  5. Someone sent this to me for Valentines Day.

    ...fair point, actually.

    IMG_6656.JPG

  6. IMG_6239.JPG

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      That's it! You're on MY list now! My list of beings to put on a list to make a list of!

    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna
  7. A horse walks into a bar. The patrons, recognizing the potential danger in this scenario, leave cautiously.

    1. PoisonClaw

      PoisonClaw

      Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"

    2. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      Man walks into a bar.

       He says: "Ow!"

    3. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Roses are dead

      Violets are dead

      Everything is dead

      I am a bad gardener.

  8. My mom had an appointment to get a brain scan today to see if she has any signs of dementia or Alzheimer's. She didn't go because she was so terrified of what they would find.

     

  9. 1A7AC20F-6BCE-4D90-9175-FE769D6B6825.jpeg.369b849bc9c08040bb6fcc2428341312.jpegI drew this.

     

     

     

     

    I didn’t really draw this.

    1. Show previous comments  15 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Fish make love in it.

      Serial killers have admitted to drinking water in the past. Everyone who drinks water has a 100% fatality rate. That’s why I never drink it.

    3. Duality

      Duality

      Hey, now, it's not a 100% fatality rate. About 3% of people who have ever existed are still alive, so it's closer to 97%. Also, I think you could do with access to the DHMO health fact database to spice up that shock factor you've got there. :P

    4. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Luckily I only drink things that are good for you. Like vodka. And it looks like water too so it must be good for you.

  10. Hey bud, just letting you know I'm thinking of you. Let me know if you need a talk.

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      When I can get time to sit down here to... all I can see is work. I'm not in a... healthy mood lately.

       

    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      There's a balance you need to strike. Leave work at work. Just take a breath. I'm in your corner.

  11. "How I want a drink - alcoholic, of course - after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics."

    The maths book I'm reading proposed this mnemonic for memorisation of the first 15 digits of pi (the number of letters in each word in order giving 3.14159265358979). The perfect fusion of our interests. :-P

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      The problem I ever had with math was algebra. I am horrendous at it as I am at long division. I can do basic addition and subtraction and I managed to eventually figure out multiplication and some division, but long division? Algebra? Geometry? It’s like another language.

      if you had to teach me you may want to swear off math. I am a lost cause, trust me.

      Oh God. Common core. Why don’t we use common sense?

    3. Duality

      Duality

      It is another language, in fact. Several, if you advance far enough. My uncle used to say that he'd forgotten more mathematical languages than people ever learn. They have so many concepts that require symbolisation in maths that they use the English, Greek, and Hebrew alphabets as well as the Hindu-Arabic numeral system all put together to supply their symbols, in addition to screeds of symbols that they made up exclusively for mathematical use, and even then there are still significant duplicate definitions and symbols that mean completely different things in different mathematical contexts. Terrifying stuff.

      Nah, you're no lost cause. I help tutor calculus to high school students who still struggle extensively with textbook algebra and they manage some pretty high grades. Most of true maths teaching is rephrasing abstract ideas and methods in ways that your students can specifically and personally understand. You're pretty savvy, too, which makes it a lot easier. :mlp_yeehaa:

      I don't understand how the saying 'common' sense ever became a thing. Maybe it makes us feel better about the fate of the human race to consider those with sense in the majority.

    4. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      You'll make me blush with them kind words!

      Mark Twain once said, There is only one thing that is impossible for God and math: finding any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

      Well, something like that. The point stands though!

      How are you holding up lately?

  12. I just saw a news article reporting that a postal worker began urinating while holding the mail and walking.

    If that shocks you or disgusts you, TRUST me: that’s not even in the top 5 worst things that happen to mail. ;)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      To answer the not wearing uniform thing, the lady may have been an entry level carrier. You don’t get uniform until 90-180 days of work have passed. As for the driving on lawns thing, I guarantee she was fired immediately if she was entry level or written up if she was regular.

      did I ever show you the runaway mail truck video?

    3. Widdershins
    4. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sqjO6QG0oS8

      Yeah, so this is why they curb the wheels, use the emergency brake, and take the keys. They even tell you, "If the truck runs away from you, don't even bother chasing it. You're already fired."

  13. I think whoever made this must have dated my ex.

    663282D7-CF81-41C3-8BDB-9843DED167E6.jpeg

    1. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      Probably why dating somebeing "your speed" is an important thing to consider. 

    2. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      Stone Cold Steve Tuna

      That's how narcs get you. They put on a mask and you don't see the monster until it's too late.

    3. Widdershins

      Widdershins

      ...The....

        Narcoleptics are disguising themselves as monsters so they can breakup-text people?

       You've Lost Me.

  14. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

    What Do You Live For?

    I live for two reasons: 1- I was born. 2- I haven’t died yet.
  15. Stone Cold Steve Tuna

    Last thing said to you

    “You sicko “ was said to me by my dad. Which is a fair point if I am being honest.