Ganaram Inukshuk

Umm, explain how I went from Kirin Pie to Fluttercop to Gallus just being grumpy or whatever...

Is it wrong to wanna hug Gallus?

As long as there's a chance of what I have say to be rejected by the community, I will never share my thoughts on anything: not the show, not anything else in the world, not even what I had for breakfast three weeks ago.

Can I talk about why I never participate in episode discussions or is that not worth sharing?

Came to the realisation that I don't look up to other artists and I had to remind myself why: to prevent myself from being compared to others.

There's no good way to share what I have on my mind because I feel like that rule starved me of interaction and improvement.

Personality flaw #1: Constantly wavering confidence regarding art.

Personality flaw #🅱: Will constantly obsess about the functionality of even the simplest scripts for hours on end.

If I ain't worrying about how my art looks, I'm worrying about how my code works.

It'd be nice to have someone to talk to, but ehh, they all disappear eventually.

Which is worse, being a person without a voice or a voice without a person?

This is how I feel about anything I make close to my heart; anything I have to share gets ignored or lost, so maybe it's better to do so without anyone ever knowing who made it.

Went from Kirin Pie to Fluttercop for an avaderp. Now what?

CharacterPrototype police_pony_prototype = DefineCharacterPrototype(ParseMedia(ConsumeMedia(GetMostSignificantSearchResultFromQuery("derpibooru", "police pony"))), "police_pony");
CharacterEntity flutter_temp = ganaram_inukshuk.CharacterDatabase.GetCharacter("fluttershy");
flutter_temp.Fitymi(police_pony_prototype);

VectorPony mlp_characters = {
  ganaram_inukshuk.CharacterDatabase.GetCharacter("glimmy"),
  ganaram_inukshuk.CharacterDatabase.GetCharacter("trixie"),
  flutter_temp
};

VectorString art_parameters = {
  "no parking",
  "legally allowed to leave meme",
  "pegasus",
  "police pony",
  "crazy",
  "drunk"
};

ganaram_inukshuk.ImagineScene("blinkerscape_version_1", mlp_characters, 300, themes.NoTheme(), art_parameters);

At some point I learned to never help anyone before I learn to help myself; the help myself part never happened and now I'm in a position where I not only rarely share my thoughts but I fear what others have to say, even when I ask for it and even if it's on a topic that isn't relevant to me.

Can't I just be a Turing machine and live that way forever?

Seasonal depression is like a cold to me: it comes and goes and there's not much I can do about it.

Please don't share what you think; I can't have people thinking me the wrong way based on what I say and sometimes I can't stand what others say.

And as usual, there aren't any discussions where I'd feel right at home or feel like I won't be ostracised for thinking differently.

Things don't seem to get better, and no, I'm not explaining what's happening; the two things I've been told a long time ago (no details) are "people have it worse than you" and "no one will fully ever understand you", and even when I do explain, there's always misinterpretation, so there's never been a point to explaining ANYTHING.

I'll handle it myself; that's how it's always been and that's how it'll always be.

Tell me, is being opinonless about the show (or anything at all) (or rather, having an opinion you refuse to share) a good thing?

I think so; I can't be invalidated if I never share what I think; happened a few times before and I'm not letting it happen again.

Now I'm just far too tired to want to do anything.

Good. It's probably better that way.

I just want today to be over with and forgotten.

It's ok if you don't care about what I have to say; I'll do my best to keep myself silent.

And today has gotten slightly worse.

Today is just not my day.

Whatever, I guess...

Either that or it's seasonal depression; then again, not like anyone notices... 

Actually, why is it comforting being an absolute mystery to just about everyone?

Because those who figure out who I am, I fear I'll never see again. Being a mystery spares me from all the emotions baggage of losing those who know me and those who dare bring me down for being far too different; you can't tear me down if you don't know how.

Maybe my keyboard preference should've stayed secret from day zero.

Now I'm reminded why I kept all social interaction to as close to zero as I can.

I shouldn't try to disappear at the least opportune time; also, what happened...?

So, uhh, was I bit over-the-top with my latest art thread?

Is it Candy Distribution Night yet?