Kyoshi Frost Wolf

Worth enough for me to tell you you're awesome.

No pain; no tears; no tearing yourself up inside this time, my friend... take a breath, read the above again, and remember you have more value than you'll ever know.

I just don't know anymore. Depression seems never ending, self hatred seems never ending.

Depression & self-hatred are stuff you're going to have to deal with, off and on, for the rest of your life.

Everyone feels them - when they lose a loved one, when they fail at something important, or even if they simply feel 'bad' - those feelings are part of the human experience, and to NOT have them would make one less than human.

And another thing?  It's NATURAL to feel this way sometimes - human emotions are messy, unpredictable things, and can change at the drop of a hat or become adamant and stubborn.  The idea is to NOT allow yourself to be RULED by these emotions.

It's not easy, but you've got to learn to recognize your emotions - not deny or bury them - and know yourself.  Self-understanding won't prevent those bad feelings... but with practice, you'll learn to let the emotions flow without taking yourself too seriously or harshly.

There's feeling sadness... and accepting that you're sad.  And it's okay to be sad sometimes...

Just don't allow your heart to rule your head.  KNOW when you're sad, ACKNOWLEDGE that sadness, and then just let it happen naturally; realize life is full of ups & downs, and reassure yourself that, just because you're hurting now, it's NOT going to be this way for all time.

You WILL feel a large number of emotions in your life; YOU get to choose which ones define you, and which ones you simply experience.