fan fiction Beyond Her Garden: a Fan-Fiction

[Discovery Dream 592]

Hello everypony! This is a bit ofd an experiment. Basically, I had this idea for a fanfic and wanted to try and bring it to life. It's based on a song by Youtube member WoodenToaster, called "Beyond Her Garden":

 

 

 

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z5eizH0u1I

 

 

Based on the story I heard in the song, I wrote a little blurb and the first chapter over a few weeks of planning.

 

Here's the blurb:

 

Carrot Top is a young mare living a simple life. Every day she gets up, eats breakfast, hangs out with friends, and of course, tends to her beloved garden. But one night changed the course of her life forever.

 

The orange mare returned from a night out with her close friends, Doseydotes, an elegant dancer, Chilly Puddle, a carefree scavenger, and Winter Withers, a professional ice skater, to find the home her family had left her burned to the ground. Not a single possession remaining, the only clue is a single hoof print near the ashes, positioned as though its owner was running away.

 

Without the money to get a new house and a heart full of determination, Carrot Top and her friends resolve to find the culprit and turn him in. That, however, won’t be as easy as the four had hoped, for the criminal has left them a trail of deceit and lies, turning them against ponies they once trusted, as well as themselves...

 

Here's chapter one:

Beyond Her Garden

Chapter One

The young mare flipped her orange mane back, tucking it into the best bun she could with her hooves. She exited the small, white bathroom and entered the kitchen, which contained nothing more than a stovetop oven, a refrigerator, and a sink. The mare trotted across the checkerboard floor to the sitting room, then out of the door. She stepped on to the stone path, looking up at Princess Luna’s night sky. The stars twinkled and glowed silver and white before the mare was distracted by an approaching pony.

 

“Hello, Carrot Top!” the figure greeted, stopping a few feet away from the mare. The voice, friendly and sweeter then a sugarcube, could only belong to Winter Withers. The white earth pony smiled at her friend; a warm, friendly smile that only she could pull off. Her cutie mark was two silver snowflakes, as delicate and welcoming as the mare herself.

Carrot Top blinked her green eyes.

“Oh, hello, Winter. Where are the others?” she asked, in her usual soft, slightly scratchy tone. The question need not be answered; two other ponies were quickly approaching the two already standing. The first, a cornflower blue mare with a pale mane, ran right up to Carrot Top and Winter, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

“Wow, hiya Carrot Top! I’m super excited, thanks so much for inviting us to the party!” she exclaimed in a high, lisped voice. Chilly Puddle was a natural adventurer who was always eager to trot to new places. It was no surprise that her cutie mark was a ladybug, representing her passion and quick, scurrying way of life.

 

The second mare approached with grace. Her purple coat and blonde mane blended in surprisingly well with the night air. She gave Carrot Top a slight nod, not saying a word. Doseydotes preferred body language to words; she was a skilled dancer and loved to tell stories through ballet. Her flower cutie mark was in the distinctive shape and position of a tutu.

 

Carrot Top tapped her hoof on the path. She was flattered that her friends had been so eager to attend the annual Ponyville Dance with her. The commemoration of when the Apple family had founded the town was always important, and she had finally decided to go.

“Shall we get going, then?” Carrot Top asked, blushing. The quartet began to trot down the lane, silently imagining the party to come.

 

 

 

~

The mares had arrived at the dance at 6 o’clock PM. The group stayed tightly bound as they entered the white tent in the park. As soon as they had entered, Chilly Puddle galloped off to see what there was to see. Carrot Top, a little distraught by her friend’s departure, was reassured by the nods of Winter and Doseydotes.

“What shall we do?” Carrot Top asked shyly.

“Dance, of course! Come, Carrot Top, I’ll show you some of my favorites,” replied Winter Withers, beaming. Doseydotes gave a grin as well. Winter Withers trotted further into the tent, and therefore into the crows. Carrot Top and Doseydotes followed her. Winter seemed keen on meeting new faces, so it took a little while, but at last the three reached the wooden dance floor that had been placed down. Doesydotes happily galloped on to its surface, and began to dance to the rhythm of the song currently playing. Ponies stopped to admire her skill as Carrot Top slinked past behind Winter.

“I don’t think I can dance,” she said, her tone worried.

“Relax, Carrot Top. It isn’t about knowing how; we’re all here to have fun!” her friend replied with a wink. A little more confident, the yellow mare stepped on to the wooden floor. She stepped this way and that, doing her best to follow the music. Doseydotes still had most of the attention, so Carrot Top relaxed a little and danced a bit faster.

 

A crowd had formed around the new mare on the dance floor. Carrot Top hadn’t noticed until three songs in, by which point she leaped off of the dance floor. She trotted away, worried about criticism. The gray stallion and hot pink mares who had been watching simply reacted confusedly before turning their attention to Doesydotes.

“I think that’s enough for one night,” the mare whispered to herself. She found Chilly Puddle talking excitedly to a stallion reading a copy of Daring Do and the Griffon’s Goblet, and rounded her up. Winter Withers located them easily, and the three had waited for Doseydotes to finish one last dance before leaving the tent.

 

Carrot Top, though a bit put off, had enjoyed the dance overall. She and her group now walked back down that stone path, exhausted. Chilly Puddle, who never seemed to run out of energy, seemed to bound ahead. She trotted slowly, to the amusement of her comrades, down the lane before stopping in the middle of the road.

 

“Chilly Puddle? What’s wrong? Are you all right?” asked Winter, already getting riled up and frightened. She disliked seeing anypony looking so startled.

“Carrot Top…” Chilly Puddle gasped, out of character for somepony so carefree. Carrot Top rushed forwards. If Chilly Puddle was scared, she ought to be, times twenty. What had happened? Was somepony hurt? The mare ran as fast as her hooves would carry her, suddenly filled to the brim with energy and fear.

 

The first thing she saw was the hostile flicker of the flames.

 

I just wanted to know if anyone would be interested in the story. I wanted to share it and see if anypony liked it before I continued, so please enjoy it and tell me what you think!

Edited March 23, 2012 by Miles101

[wintergoat 4]

I like it so far. It's a neat plot.