ooc Disharmonious (OOC)

[MasterCombine 316]

Cool, I look forward to it!

[Dragonshy 2,305]

Was the post I made acceptable? On the real thread.

[Mephala 2,633]

Same, was mine okay?

[MasterCombine 316]

Sorry I'm taking so long. I've just been really busy lately. I'll have my first post up tonight

[Nico 790]

Was the post I made acceptable? On the real thread.

 

Your post was pretty good, yeah. You're okay to stay in the RP, if you were wondering about that, so don't worry. I'll give you some tips, though.

 

You could use just a bit of work on repetition of words, such as your use of the word 'pie' several times in short succession. Find some pronouns to replace it with, just to keep your posts a bit more involving to the reader. Also, be sure to mind events occurring in locations due to other players, too, such as a pie stand. If Dragonshy went to a different pie stand than the one Peach and Artsy are at, be sure to make it clear that's so. I'm sure he did, given that there was no mention of them, but a bit more detail on the pie exchange would have made the post more interesting to other players who are reading and could provide a bit more detail on your character's interactions with other ponies, given that all we've seen in detail so far has been conflict.

 

The above stuff is just some writing tips. Your'e free to disregard it completely if you want to, and you won't be ejected for not listening or anything. I'm just trying to help you make more involving posts for the other players to read. With all of that being said, I look forward to seeing exactly what's going on in your character's situation.

 

 

Same, was mine okay?

 

Yours was quite nice. I didn't spot any major issues, but your paragraph structure seemed a bit weird. Did you perhaps indent your paragraphs while writing it? If so, I can understand how it should look, but sadly the editor removes indentations before posting them, so it made your paragraphs look a bit funny.

 

 

Sorry I'm taking so long. I've just been really busy lately. I'll have my first post up tonight

 

Awesome. Looking forward to it.

[Dragonshy 2,305]

Your post was pretty good, yeah. You're okay to stay in the RP, if you were wondering about that, so don't worry. I'll give you some tips, though.

 

You could use just a bit of work on repetition of words, such as your use of the word 'pie' several times in short succession. Find some pronouns to replace it with, just to keep your posts a bit more involving to the reader. Also, be sure to mind events occurring in locations due to other players, too, such as a pie stand. If Dragonshy went to a different pie stand than the one Peach and Artsy are at, be sure to make it clear that's so. I'm sure he did, given that there was no mention of them, but a bit more detail on the pie exchange would have made the post more interesting to other players who are reading and could provide a bit more detail on your character's interactions with other ponies, given that all we've seen in detail so far has been conflict.

 

The above stuff is just some writing tips. Your'e free to disregard it completely if you want to, and you won't be ejected for not listening or anything. I'm just trying to help you make more involving posts for the other players to read. With all of that being said, I look forward to seeing exactly what's going on in your character's situation.

 

No I appreciate it! I really like criticism when given nicely, as you have done. Thanks!

 

Also, can we have interaction with other characters? For example, "I see a tall colt with light brown fur and a long, dark brown mane and medium length, bushy tail of same length. Hooves have a dark beige patch around the base. His eyes are a deep blue with thick, sharp eyebrows above them."

[Nico 790]

 

No I appreciate it! I really like criticism when given nicely, as you have done. Thanks!

 

Also, can we have interaction with other characters? For example, "I see a tall colt with light brown fur and a long, dark brown mane and medium length, bushy tail of same length. Hooves have a dark beige patch around the base. His eyes are a deep blue with thick, sharp eyebrows above them."

 

Interacting with other characters is recommended, actually. It's a bit different than interacting with NPC's, though. When interacting with another player's character you can't control what they do or say, so you have to wait for the player to reply to you. Just look at some other posts here with player interaction and you'll get an idea.

[Dragonshy 2,305]

Interacting with other characters is recommended, actually. It's a bit different than interacting with NPC's, though. When interacting with another player's character you can't control what they do or say, so you have to wait for the player to reply to you. Just look at some other posts here with player interaction and you'll get an idea.

 

Ok thank you!

[MasterCombine 316]

I'll post again tomorrow afternoon (It's 11:46 PM here right now)

[Dragonshy 2,305]

 

I'm sorry to do this, but I have to leave. I'm on a few different art request threads, and I'm doing another project. Sorry about this, thanks for letting me in at all.

 

Sorry.

 

Your friend,

Dragonshy

[Nico 790]

I'm sorry to do this, but I have to leave. I'm on a few different art request threads, and I'm doing another project. Sorry about this, thanks for letting me in at all.

 

Sorry.

 

Your friend,

Dragonshy

 

It's okay. At least you left before it got too far in. Good luck with your requests and your project.

 

 

Hey, I was wondering if I'd be alright for this RP as well...

 

Electrobolt

 

Before I officially open the thread to being joined by other ponies I thought I'd give you a chance to take Dragonshy's shot first, Electrobolt. I'll mark it as reserved for you for now. Would you like his slot?

[Dragonshy 2,305]

It's okay. At least you left before it got too far in. Good luck with your requests and your project.

 

 

 

 

Before I officially open the thread to being joined by other ponies I thought I'd give you a chance to take Dragonshy's shot first, Electrobolt. I'll mark it as reserved for you for now. Would you like his slot?

 

Thanks for everything!

[Electrobolt 2,069]

Hmm... Well, I'd have to find a way to introduce my character first of all... Actually, I might have an idea... I'll give it a shot

 

Nico, I do hope you don't mind if I went ahead and posted already... You don't mind, do you?

Edited April 7, 2012 by Electrobolt

[Nico 790]

Hmm... Well, I'd have to find a way to introduce my character first of all... Actually, I might have an idea... I'll give it a shot

 

Nico, I do hope you don't mind if I went ahead and posted already... You don't mind, do you?

 

I mind so much. You're a terrible person. How dare you. [/sarcasm]

 

No, really, I like your post and am glad to have you on board the RP. I hope you have fun with it. I'll be replying to it again, myself... after I get done with a whole lotta housework. I'm kinda holding MasterCombine up the longer I wait.

[Electrobolt 2,069]

I mind so much. You're a terrible person. How dare you. [/sarcasm]

 

No, really, I like your post and am glad to have you on board the RP. I hope you have fun with it. I'll be replying to it again, myself... after I get done with a whole lotta housework. I'm kinda holding MasterCombine up the longer I wait.

 

... That line made me laugh xD Combined with the fact that I got to watch a pony episode (albeit with interruptions, but still) and I'm listening to some music that's pretty catchy to me, that put in a relatively great mood I'm sure I'll have a great time here, as well as in the Shifted RP!

[MasterCombine 316]

Everybody having a busy Easter, or something? Haha

[Electrobolt 2,069]

Hahah, I guess... Anyways, I think I should try and think of what I should post next then

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

Yeah, I've been busy with my mod duties and easter and stuff. I'll be posting soon though.

[Mephala 2,633]

I can't type giant paragraphs at a time, sorry. If anyone else is interested they can take my place. I apologize.

[MasterCombine 316]

Well your posts don't have to be massive, you know. I'm pretty sure Nico just said that they have to be at least three sentences long.

Edited April 9, 2012 by MasterCombine

[Nico 790]

I can't type giant paragraphs at a time, sorry. If anyone else is interested they can take my place. I apologize.

 

THIS:

Well your posts don't have to be massive, you know. I'm pretty sure Nico just said that they have to be at least three sentences long.

 

You don't HAVE to make huge posts, it's just a preference.

[Electrobolt 2,069]

I hope my post was acceptable, especially the last few sentences in the last paragraph... If I overstepped any boundaries, I do apologize for that as I did not intend to...

[MasterCombine 316]

I'll go ahead and post again. It probably won't be too long, though, as I'm still waiting for you to reply, Nico

[Electrobolt 2,069]

Well, at least you didn't just forget the RP, MC

[MasterCombine 316]

I never forget. Never.

 

Haha, but really, I've just been waiting for both Nico and Arylett to post, since Spirit, Nicolas, and Artsy are all together. And since Arylett posted I've just been waiting on Nico to respond to the situation. But, like I said, I think I'll just go ahead and post a little bit more