ooc A personal letter for the one I have wronged 1x1 RP

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

Wow, I was not expecting that. Sounds like you have a good idea of the plot twists this story will encounter. 

[Yoshikupo 302]

 

 

you have a good idea of the plot twists this story will encounter.

I had an Idea about your characters backstory but I cant do it...strangely it looks like your going in that direction anyway. the suspense builds...

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

What did you have planned? I am trying to figure out her backstory myself.

My thought was either a dark route where she was injured as a result of you trying to take the box, and thus lost memories,

Or the darker route where she hurt herself to remove the memories of your betrayal when you took the box. Those plans don't work as it has no way for the missing shard of her mind to be in the box.

 

I have no idea what is in the box, I was hoping you had an idea. 

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

I have a slight variation in mind (the shard will be in the box)

also nice music, I like Muppets

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

But How? how is it in the box if the memory loss happened after the box was stolen.

Unless Jade wanted Selena to forget about him and gave her severe head trauma and kept the shard in the box.

 

That is about mid level dark. And it explains Amethyst's comment about how it wasn't the first time Selena had been hurt by jade.

 

Or I still have no idea what I am saying.

 

Thanks, I just re-listened to that song yesterday and it just seemed appropriate for the scene. 

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

I was thinking that she took out herself after Jade did something awful and put it in the box by force from her head making her go unconscious or something, Jade later took it gaining his cutie mark (that awful thing was him wanting to use Selena's family's money to use for himself, Selena saw him stealing things before, the box was like the nail in the coffin)

Guilt was a major reason why he wanted to return it, he wants to help Selena after what he did (the article was about how her special species could forget about something by simply tearing it out, using her as example)

I wanted to get it all out to be understood ok? Topaz is still secret.

(feels like a final fantasy story)

P.S. I was trying to make it interesting not confusing

Edited September 7, 2015 by Yoshikupo

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

Well....

Selena's family consists of Luna, and three other of her kind, they don't keep in contact though.

Selena was raised (In this universe) by a pony named Jigsaw Puzzle, an agent of Princess Luna, Selena's mother, soon after Selena decided to take a physical form instead of living as a Gem, like her 'siblings' (They might not be mentioned here.)

Thus, for all intents and purposes Selena is absolutely unique, which is why only a select few individuals, like Amethyst, the mayor, the hospital staff, and the guards, know that she is not a real crystal pony. (She has an immense fear of Twilight finding out.)

 

I could see the article as being a news report of her having been attacked in her home by an unknown robber. The press doesn't know she isn't a crystal pony so reported her as such, thus Jade may have initially dismissed the article as not Selena.

 

I do agree that it would make sense as a self injury, Selena couldn't understand why her friend and then crush would betray her in such a way, she wanted to go back to the way she was. And thus induced severe head trauma in an attempt to 'bleed out' of her body. however she fell into the moonlight, healing her injury but not after a crucial piece of her memories were locked in the jewelry box Jade stole later that night.

 

How's that sound? I think it ties the story together pretty well.

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

...wow, I focused on the villain more than this to be honest but I love this (If I wanted to it would be a great fanfiction)

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

It still could be, I wouldn't mind.

 

It has a bunch of great romance elements in it,

A thief looking to mend his ways,

One utterly unique looking to belong

A dark past that could drive the two apart if uncovered

 

Plus an enemy that wants them both dead.

 

Even the title is good, A personal letter for the one I have wronged.

 

I would read it, And would be happy to help reformat it into a story once the RP ends.

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

your right, your very much right

@@BadluckJoker,

this is a one on one RP what are you going in it!?

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

I do believe you can remove posts by others as OP, you should also change the RP tag from Open to Closed or Private. 

I reported their post for lack of permissions and sexism.

Edited September 7, 2015 by Illiad Easle

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

ok thanks I will do that

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

Umm...

 

Okay...

 

So I thought of a backstory change, Jade accidentally killed Jigsaw when jade was robbing Selena.

Selena freaked out and fled, then tried to off herself and the rest happens like the prior backstory.

 

That's the only way Jade suddenly killing ponies makes any sense.

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

he said in self defense...he has killed a few ponies before, mostly ones he had to to get away from but had no choice, not saying yours cant work though, this is a darker Jade then any other RP I've done with him. (he counts doing it for his family self defense for them)

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

I suppose you're right, it does make sense.

Jigsaw was fiercely protective of Selena, which would give him motivation to attack Jade if he saw him breaking in.

 

Plus it makes the secret in the box that much more tragic, something that would really tear the two apart if discovered.

 

I'll hint at it, but make it plain enough that the memory could be completed differently. 

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

I have to be honest, I kind of made the party a mess, I don't like what I did with the villein, and I think I made somethings worst by going with it...I liked everything before it though (just putting my word out there)

Edited September 9, 2015 by Yoshikupo

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

The party was a bit of a mess, but it indicates that Topaz isn't all that smart. Or just crazy.

I think it's fine so long as she doesn't use another ex machina.

 

I have dark plans for Selena's revenge.

 

However, I wouldn't mind a second villain, we do after all still need to find the key to the box.

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

ok if we make the story she will probably not use the ex machina and she dies early. It could also show how messed up this world of equestria is

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

The ex machina she used in the story makes sufficient sense to be believable.

I was indicating that if a secret passage within a secret passage was used to escape, then I wouldn't like it.

 

The official story would do the party a bit different, I have a few ideas in mind.

 

I am expecting to catch up to Topaz soon, I have been itching to get her revenge.

 

Oh, if you think this Equestria is messed up, you ain't read enough FimFiction yet.

Edited September 9, 2015 by Illiad Easle

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

no...not a changling, I should have left that Ling was a changling though, Bright knows and is friends with her and 'Bright' knows from reading her mind, she stalled because she was trying to think of an excusse. Plus I had an idea where she was only suspisious untill she went to Manehatten (the more I think about it, I could make the pony playing as Bright be Ling because it still could fit...lets see what my mind decides for this) ((please change the post)) (((P.S. I should have used my MLP mind more when creating the enemy)))

Edited September 14, 2015 by Yoshikupo

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

Selena has reasonable suspicion to believe that there is a changeling even if she is wrong, as a change I will remove the guards that went to Bright's house and shop.

 

Is that sufficient?

Edited September 14, 2015 by Illiad Easle

[Yoshikupo 302]

@@Illiad Easle,

yes that is, just have on the brink of discorving, also I'm sure that that 'mother' would say Ling was a registered changling though

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

A registered changeling would be one that has a unique identity, that is, they didn't replace some pony.

If you are saying that Bright has been a changeling this whole time, as in there never was a pony named Bright by that description living in Ponyville, then she would be a registered changeling.

 

If that is the case I would have to rework that whole post, let me know and I'll restructure it. 

[Yoshikupo 302]

no Ling is a changling, Bright knows Ling and is her friend, 'Bright' used Ling as an excuse and now to not make it conffusing 'Bright' is not Ling but a whole new pony how has very good magic, alright? Ling is registered as a good Changling. (I should have thought of a different name for 'Bright' to say)

@@Yoshikupo,

yeah lets just say 'Bright' said Page instead, there is a reason, Ling is not in the story anymore

Edited September 14, 2015 by Yoshikupo

[Illiad Easle 3,172]

@@Yoshikupo,

 

Fine, I'll change my post to match.