critique wanted Rivet's Story

[Lunar Echo 10,334]

Introduction

It was a cold November night on the front line and operation Strangle the Slumbering Goose was in action. A hand signal was given and the gun fire lite the night sky. They had no chance of survival or mercy, it was a massacre and it was glorious. I watched as explosive went off from hit munitions and bits of shrapnel flew in all directions. I piece of shrapnel grazed my right cheek but I refused to move, we needed this, this is what will bring us back to the living.

 

Chapter One

The year, was 1943 and war was all the talk in Soviet Russia. Thousands on thousands of young boys being transported to their slaughter. Many laughing, drinking and trying to make the best of bad times, with more to come. I was Rivet, that's all you need to know, I'm nothing special encase you get any ideas. I came from a bad and poor background, no surprise there as most Soviet families were living it hard. The so called almighty and invincible Mother Russia was a huge cess pool of poverty, crime and political corruption. To survive in this hell of a country is a damn miracle.

 

I am transported to where the action is had, I listen to many stories coming back from the front line of many a massacre, on our side. I pray everyday and wish to see my children another day. Most the men I've been transported with, bargained their way out of this death. They either had connections or did some special favors for the ones that can change a few papers here and there. Myself, I simply sneaked away while no one was looking. They had that many men to look after they couldn't possible keep everyone in check. So the escape was more than easy. I now found myself alone in the wilderness of a Cold and unforgiving Russia. I had no choice but to return, I had no idea where I was and it was so dark I couldn't see 2 feet in front of me. I also think that I heard wolves, I was not going to take the risk and find out.

 

The next morning had come and it was still cold as ever. Every man was low on morale, hungry and losing their mind a little. Some men even said some guys froze to death and some got taken away by wolves. Many lined up for the little food they had to offer. There was not enough food for every man, so they gave some one half a potato and the other a drink of vodka. I got vodka, I would've much preferred the food, but at least I got something rather than nothing. We started moving the convoy and we were coming to a small town, which was abandoned. We were going to set-up a command, some could stay to protect the small command outpost, the rest would continue to the front line. I crossed my fingers I got to be one of the guys that stayed.  

 

The next morning had arrived, and every man was lined up for selection. Twenty selections down the line I'd lost all hope in being picked, the last was going to be selected, it was not me. The last man was cheering and acting a complete fool, why him and not me I thought to myself. Then suddenly one of the men who wasn't chosen lunged out at the last man and bite his ear off and started stabbing him multiple times in the stomach. The guards were quick but not quick enough, they shot the attacker and the victim bled out on the ground. They now needed one more man, and that man was me. Thankfully no one attacked me while I walked over to the selection group, I could tell a lot wanted it, and a lot were willing to do anything for it. The relief of getting in the selected group was huge, it meant I could one day meet my wife and children again.

 

Chapter Two

Edited November 5, 2015 by Lunar Echo