critique wanted struggling to find a name for this fella

[Dracu98 139]

so yeah, I've been thinking about this OC of mine for quite a while now.

 

as you can see, he has no cutiemark, but we'll get to that later

 

yes, it's a cape. a little bit clishe, I know.

 

 

so, here he is. as you've already seen, I can't come up with a fitting name, therefore I'll tell you something about him and hope that you have something on your mind.

 

Born as a unicorn in Canterlot, his parents quickly noticed his natural talent for using magic. This given, he was send to the school for gifted unicorns and was even a classmate of Twilight Sparkle, even though they never even spoke with each other. Just as Twilight, he focused on his studies and was not interested in making any friends or doing other things than studieing. It's not because he was very interested in the magic he was taught - he had no problem using it and was one of the most talented unicorns in his class - he was simply bored. Every single day in the magical school was the same. The same faces, the same places, the same classes and situations over and over again. There was nothing interesting going on, and he thought his whole life would always look the same. He just continued his routine, week for week, month for month year for year. That was his life until Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, returned. Although ponyville was Discords main target, Canterlot was not spared from his actions either, and our bored friend was a witness of the chaos Discord caused. But unlike most ponies in Equestria, he was not scared, he was not in panic. He was simply amazed. This was different from everything he ever knew, anything he had ever seen. This was no boring, neverending circle, this had no routine. This was chaos in its purest form, unpredictable, incalculable. Beautiful. This was his key to a new life, his opportunity to leave behind canterlot and the school, his opportunity to leave behind his old, boring life and to start a new, unpredictable life full of surprises and joy. However, his euphoria didn't last long. Discord was stopped from rampaging and reformed by his new friends in ponyville, even though our pony-friend still doesn't want to believe it and hopes for Discords return. But he wasn't patient enough to wait, he didn't want to return into the never ending circle of boredom and routine. Therefore, he left his home and his family behind and secretly moved to ponyville, the city where his one and only idol lives from now on. Using the basement of his house as his laboratory, he secretly tries to master chaos-based magic, focusing on transforming himself as well as the world around him. Even though the magic he had to deal with before was no challenge to him, he struggles with performing chaos-magic. He tried to create a new body for himself similiar to Discords, but the only thing he managed to change was the shape of his horn and the colour of his mane and tail which were black before. Even though he often gets angry when things don't work out the way he wants, he has developed a grim kind of patience and stubbornness. He might not understand the logic of chaos soon, but he will continue to expand both his magical powers and his skills when it comes to chaos-based magic. He dreams of taking Discords place as the Master of Chaos or ruling next to him if he decides to return to his old ways again. He is annoyed and disgusted by things that are in a straight order for no proper reason, as his messy household and laboratory shows.

 

And, failing to find a good ending here, I'll just end this post like this. What do you think? Does he look good? Is the background-story ok? And, most important, what do you think would be a good name? I've been thinking about making a cotton candy-cloud which makes it rain chocolate milk his cutie mark which appeared when he first saw Discords chaos, but I'm still not sure about that. What are your opinions?

[FlyingChicken 154]

Well, first thing is, I don't have OC so I don't know if my comment will be useful or not.

The background story was solid, but if he's a very talent unicorn, surely somepony must have noticed. So you might want to add that he simply didn't care when he was offered with scholarships and junks. He simply bored and have no goal despite his talent. I might add that you can make this OC more interesting if he's very talent and full of himself. He just simply think that's everypony else in his class cannot match him and that's why he's bored and want to look for something that suit his style. The backstory that involve Discord is already interesting. I don't think you have to change it. Other than that it's a solid back story. I think you could always make his Cutie Mark appear when he actually changed his look due to chaos magic.

Anyway, that's my silly opinion. I don't know if it helps you or not but I hope that it does in some way.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,478]

This is a bit of a random one but it could be an idea:

 

Sekasorto

 

Now one might be wondering what that means. That is the Finnish word for chaos, or one of the translations at least. Not a traditional name by any means for FiM but it could be something. To be honest I am not the best at coming up with names, but using certain translations can be quite fitting. 

[Dracu98 139]

@@PeriodicMG, that actually really helps me. when I thought about him and situations he might get into, he was always kinda arrogant thanks a lot, I'm gonna edit that :3

 

 

This is a bit of a random one but it could be an idea:

 

Sekasorto

 

I usually pick names the same way (translations and stuff), but in that case, I was going for a pony-like name. you know, like Lyra Heartstrings or Twilight Sparkle.

[FlyingChicken 154]

How about something along the line of "Count obsidian"?

[Dracu98 139]

How about something along the line of "Count obsidian"?

 

I like that one! "Count" is a very good idea, he'd sound a bit like a bond-villain

[BlueBrony 388]

Good character development here. I like your cutie mark idea as it demonstrates his consuming goal of developing chaos magic. The colors could use some tweaking, especially the body color.

 

Name ideas:

Abner Norman (When he changes appearance, he begins to call himself "Abnormal")

 

Quasar Shine- a distant highly energetic (Chaotic) celestial object, analogous to Twillight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, etc

[Dracu98 139]

good ideas here. "Count" as last name, and something that sounds like "abnormal" as first name. I'll think of that. thanks a lot, pals, I'm really thankful for your help! :3

[Hazy Skies 1,010]

From the coloration and the look of her (Or at least it looks like a her.. But one of those tough  explorer types.. and possibly a tomboy?)

The first thing that came to mind was the name "Ivy"...

From the coloration, being fairly plant related. (Green for the leaves, pink for the flowers and brown for the branches and roots..)

and the sharp parts like the snout and ear, (Many Ivies have sharp leaves too)

for some reason the attitude i see in her face fits the name too somehow

 

But yeah.. After reading through the text properly, i realize it is in fact male and I apologize for.. uhh.. confusing the genders..

I can't think of another name off the top of my head just yet.. and Ivy seems more of a girl's name..

 

EDIT: OOOOOoooooo! wait.. What about Iven A male name derived from the word "Ivy" And with the cape it has like.. a thorn on his head.. *gasp* IDEA!

What about his name being.. "Iven Thorn" Sounds cool, has a good ring to it, "Ivy" matches his coloration, and "thorn" could represent his sorta bad and/or grumpy nature.. or perhaps he could turn bad at some point.. OOOoooo... climatic story opportunity..

 

EDIT: As for the story, it seems pretty good for the most part, but a tad cliche in the parts about being in the same class as twilight and studying magic at the school gifted unicorns and being "top of the class".. That means there isn't much room for character progression.. If your character is "the best" that means he himself becomes bland and boring.. if he is average and strives hard to reach his goals.. that makes the character much more realistic, relate-able and interesting and as long as he witnesses the chaos from discord, no matter where he looks from, be that Canterlot, Ponyville or anywhere else.. as long as he sees it and become inspired (as you say in your story) it doesn't matter where he starts.. and rather than moving to ponyville after seeing it.. perhaps he already was living there and decided to clean out his basement to begin the studying of chaotic magic?

 

as for the cutie mark.. that could depend on the name.. But imitating something that discord created as a cutie mark wouldn't suit..

Something that is chaotic.. or at least a mark that looks chaotic or unbalanced could work nicely..

 

EDIT: Lol, Now with the cutie mark i randomly pictured like.. a green raincloud that's raining Ivy leaves Makes no sense.. Thus, chaos

EDIT: As for the character design, i love it! It looks awesome.. really portrays him with his back story.. Nice idea with the double eye highlights.. definately looks unusual and somewhat chaotic   

Edited December 5, 2015 by AURAequine

[Dracu98 139]

@AURAequine you're right, this "the best evar"-stuff is really unoriginal. I've been told that once, but it seems like I didn't really listen maybe I'll change it so that he was intelligent enough to actually perform those spells, but too bored by them to actually put much effort into it. after all, that's something everypony can learn, but chaos-based magic? that's not very common. there is a lot to edit once I...well, once I take the time for this you guys are really awesome, those are a lot of great ideas!

Edited December 5, 2015 by Dracu98