critique wanted ✤【PMV】✳ 【We're Going For A Ride】✳ 【Luna Can't Decide】✤

[PlutonNT 5]

I would like to share with everyone this flash animation!

[Mr Unknown 132]

Since you wanted critique, I'm not going to hold any punches here. It's gonna sting a little, but it's important to learn from your mistakes. 

 

I thought this was sub-par.

 

It has some interesting scenes in it, and the presentation overall is decent, but it's the animation that I feel needs an overhaul, especially in the lip-syncing department. Through the whole video, there's only a few times where the audio seems to sync with the mouth. There's some other stuff that I feel could have been improved with a few different choices, too. Like the frozen heart might have been better if it appeared at the specific line, and not before it, or having Luna walking or something at 0:54 to make it more interesting.

 

(There's a couple minor things, too, such as everything else being that alternate style, while Discord and Tirek are the regular style, as well as a couple of animation errors, like the tail twitching at the beginning ) 

 

The final thing I want to comment on is the video itself, while the song "We're Going For a Ride" really fits for villains like the Joker or Bill Cipher, I just personally don't see it fitting for Luna. Maybe if she looked like Nightmare Moon or something, but it just feels off that suddenly she wants to kill Celestia...

 

It's clear that you put some time into this, though, and it shows in the variety of backgrounds and characters in those backgrounds. 

 

Please don't take all of this the wrong way, I just want you to know where it could have been better so you can make better animations in the future 

Edited February 7, 2016 by Mr Unknown

[PlutonNT 5]

Since you wanted critique, I'm not going to hold any punches here. It's gonna sting a little, but it's important to learn from your mistakes. 

 

I thought this was sub-par.

 

It has some interesting scenes in it, and the presentation overall is decent, but it's the animation that I feel needs an overhaul, especially in the lip-syncing department. Through the whole video, there's only a few times where the audio seems to sync with the mouth. There's some other stuff that I feel could have been improved with a few different choices, too. Like the frozen heart might have been better if it appeared at the specific line, and not before it, or having Luna walking or something at 0:54 to make it more interesting.

 

(There's a couple minor things, too, such as everything else being that alternate style, while Discord and Tirek are the regular style, as well as a couple of animation errors, like the tail twitching at the beginning ) 

 

The final thing I want to comment on is the video itself, while the song "We're Going For a Ride" really fits for villains like the Joker or Bill Cipher, I just personally don't see it fitting for Luna. Maybe if she looked like Nightmare Moon or something, but it just feels off that suddenly she wants to kill Celestia...

 

It's clear that you put some time into this, though, and it shows in the variety of backgrounds and characters in those backgrounds. 

 

Please don't take all of this the wrong way, I just want you to know where it could have been better so you can make better animations in the future 

Thank you !, I am grateful !, as the cause of the spasms were intentional, something like WHAT the pinkie pie has before something falls, my biggest problem are the mouths really !, but will work to improve these aspects as the heart and others in the next videos,

 

As the issue of villains, I try to use the luna resentiments about his banishment to the moon, no matter how small, but in the end we all know she loves celestia! ^^

Edited February 7, 2016 by PlutonNT