critique wanted My First Attempt at a Fanfic (UPDATED with Writing Samples & New Polls)

[Valeska 184]

 

This is a story idea that I came up with after having watched the finale of season 6. My plot isn't nearly finished but I thought I would get my ideas on paper or on screen. I'd love feedback of any kind. Tell me what you like or what you don't like. A good writing with take constructive criticism.

 

Fanfic Summary:

 

Emry is a Queen Changeling. Mind you she isn’t ‘THE’ Queen Changeling. She is Queen Chrysalis’ right wing and the brains behind all the world dominating plots that were played out across Equestria. This is a story behind the story of the expansion and demise of the Changeling Swarm.

 

Beginning of Prologue --> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1olNKVZ-kaT0r7IfxxFUNvZOgl67FjexcpTUjHVLDur8/edit?usp=sharing

 

Writing Sample (old) --> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q2K5TmOq2RyjGH3jbZ9OsHMdFsw6of0Irq0lRKTljgY/edit?usp=sharing

Edited November 13, 2016 by .Alicorn

[KiraTakahashi 748]

I saw go for it, I'm interested and it kinda takes a lot for me to be interested.

[LordSwinton 759]

It would be easier to critique if you wrote some in proper prose than bullet points, the writing style and abilities are really important to any story. How you portray your situation and describe circumstances really make or break stories as a whole.

 

Otherwise, your plot seems okay at best 

[Valeska 184]

Okay, thank you both for your feedback. I'll update you on when I have added more to the plot and when I start writing.

[Valeska 184]

I updated my first post, yay!

Edited November 5, 2016 by .Alicorn

[Hastur 505]

I was prepared to critique something in summary rather than almost-scene. But that is okay ^^

Well, I suggest that you put it into summary first. The plot seems alright, but I should see your writing style first before I pass any mature judgement

Good luck

[Valeska 184]

I was prepared to critique something in summary rather than almost-scene. But that is okay ^^

Well, I suggest that you put it into summary first. The plot seems alright, but I should see your writing style first before I pass any mature judgement

Good luck

 

 

It would be easier to critique if you wrote some in proper prose than bullet points, the writing style and abilities are really important to any story. How you portray your situation and describe circumstances really make or break stories as a whole.

 

Otherwise, your plot seems okay at best 

 

I saw go for it, I'm interested and it kinda takes a lot for me to be interested.

 

 

Okay, I made a quick summary and added a sample of my writing on my first post.

[Valeska 184]

I added the beginning of my prologue on the first post. Also I added new polls. Check them out. What do you guys think?

Edited November 13, 2016 by .Alicorn