Ponies are being jailed for a trend you started. What do you do?

[KillerKingBakudan 702]

Button Mash challenges you at his favorite video game. Let's just say that it consists of two unicorns trying to kill each other with magic blasts. The controls are pretty basic. You move by running, ducking and jumping, and you shoot. Button is talking so much shit, but doesn't seem to have the skill to back it up. And for that, you decide to move the joystick repeatedly in a downward motion, making your pony character duck in rapid succession. Yeah... you're teabagging.

Button has no idea what you're doing, and he asks if it's some new strategy you made up to try and psyche him out. You don't give him an answer. But just from seeing that smug look on your face every time, he can tell that whatever it means, it's working. Soon, he starts mimicking you when he's playing the game with his other friends. And he's baffling them so much with his antics that it's actually giving him an edge.

Big Mac has been observing you this whole time though. And when he asks you what that gesture's supposed to mean, you figure it wouldn't hurt to tell him considering he's a grown pony, so you hold nothing back. He's grossed out by it at first. But then, he's already a competitive stallion anyway. He decides to start doing it himself at some point, both when he's playing Ogres and Oubliettes, and when he's engaged in Buckball. Other stallions want to know what the hell he's doing, so he just gives it to them straight. They, in turn, start copying HIM, and soon, all the stallions in Equestria are doing it. Not just at sporting events, but academic debates, award ceremonies, parties, and virtually any other setting where ponies congregate.

And by the time this trend hits the Equestria Games, even the MARES have started doing it. Especially Applejack and Rainbow Dash. In fact, these two have been doing it so much that they even had the nerve to pull that shit on some new villains that they recently defeated with the rest of their friends. It's not enough to blast them to Tartarus with the magic of friendship; they gotta rub it in by teabagging them.

Now here's where things really get out of hand. Celestia loses a game of croquet in Canterlot. And her socialite opponent drops to the floor with a stupid grin on his face and starts teabagging. She still has no idea what this means, but she's observed this odd behavior so much in public that the more time she spends thinking about it, the more it's driving her crazy. And all the ponies at the castle are reluctant to tell her about it. So one night, she casts a spell to disguise herself as a commoner and starts asking around. When an unsuspecting pony finally gives her the truth on what teabagging is at a local pub, she flips out. She orders the royal guard to search for the socialite pony who just did it to her and arrest him the next day. And from that point forward, every other pony that's been caught doing it is systematically thrown in prison. Including AJ and RD.

When Celestia's questioned by the press as to why all these ponies are now behind bars on such short notice, she says that this new degenerate trend has turned her subjects into assholes, and she refuses to govern a country where such a tactless display can be so widely accepted. She wants teabagging to be abolished before creatures from the neighboring kingdoms see it and jump on the bandwagon. And that's not all. She announces that the prisoners will NOT be released until she learns the identity of the individual who started this trend. She's even ordered an ad to be put on the front page of every major newspaper, with a large sum of money offered to the pony who provides information leading to said individual's arrest. That's you.

Big Mac is one of the few guilty stallions left who has not been arrested. He's getting quite nervous. After all, he WAS the pony that made this trend popular. But under the circumstances, he could easily rat you out as being the one who influenced him to save his own ass. And why wouldn't he? Surely, he'd like to get his sister out of jail. His relationship with Sugar Belle could be ruined if he's found out by Celestia. And with everything he knows about you, he could literally become the richest stallion in Ponyville over night.

What do you do?

Edited July 10, 2018 by KillerKingBakudan

[The Kaeya Simp 13,988]

I would turn myself in...

I would say that I did it in a game and Big Mac brung it into the real world

[Dashy 4 Ever 4,835]

Fix the problem. Go back in time and just lose that one game or just beat my friend fair and square.

[Nightfall Thunder 1,937]

*shrug* Oh well, bad things happen I guess  

[Nature Tune 8,392]

Wait to see if Big Mac is a loyal friend. IF he blabs, I would turn myself in.

[Kevin Tang 2,426]

That's a crap ton of problems just from a simple harmless act at the beginning. 

[KillerKingBakudan 702]

4 hours ago, Kevin Tang said:

That's a crap ton of problems just from a simple harmless act at the beginning. 

They're lucky they can't get swatted.

[Shadow Nightwing 24]

I would go into hiding, spreading the trend, and then sit back and laugh at the chaos I caused.

[EpicEnergy 23,218]

I would demand punishment for those who teabagged at places where it would be considered inappropriate (ceremonies for example), like maybe a fine or something. Then I would demand for teabagging to be legalized when doing it for fun in video games. And lastly, I would demand for teabagging to not be considered a crime in Equestria. 

If anypony opposes my demands, to Tartarus with them!  (until they confess or until my demands are fulfilled) 

[DubWolf 17,263]

Tl;dr.

Laff my ess off  

 

 

 

jk. I'd claim they knew what they were doing.

Edited April 19, 2022 by WWolf

[Tao 7,756]

Blame it on the drugs.