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offering critique An Alicorn OC? Oh MY!


Tao

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So I made my first Alicorn OC and was wanting a little feedback on her looks and the small things I got written up as a bio before I keep working on her! 

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Name:  Queen Amaranthine or Lady Amaranthine
Title:  Former Queen of the Isle of Avalon
Nicknames:  Ama, Warrior-Princess,  Our Lady
Talent: Fighting, Leading, Strategy 
Age: 25
Mother:  Queen Madainn (Alicorn)
Father: King Steelheart (Unicorn)
Half Brother: King (Prince) Ferrum
Note:  She is ninth cousins with Princess Tia and Luna and Candace.
Likes:  Training, Fencing, Tracking,  Spell-Work, Flying,  Fighting Practice,  Classic Plays, Sweet Drinks, Pastries, Cooking, Fish
Dislikes:  Dresses, Balls, Fancy Things,  Courting Stallions,  Dances,  Wool,  Pushy Beings.


 

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Maybe you could flesh out her backstory on how she became a princess in the first place? The problem with most alicorn/princess OCs I see is that there's never any explanation on how they got their title, so I believe you should work on that. Based on the information that we got of her I think that she would seem like the kind of character who would've dropped her queen title in favour of protecting her people instead. Maybe she could be the captain of the Isle of Avalon's Royal Guards?

  • Brohoof 1
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  • 11 months later...

I like her! I'd also like to see her with a different mane colour and style... the yellow-on-yellow doesn't look quite right, as it blends in with her coat. Have you tried a peach or sunset pink? Maybe a hairstyle that looks cut short by a blade?

 

What made you choose the names of those places and characters?

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