5 Reasons You Don't Want To Be A Pony

[Starshine 16,333]

Cracked article style? I find your lack of sarcasm disturbing

 

Some of them are valid points, but no. 3,2,1 are just loads of bullfrogs

 

3. You're not the dominant species.

You seems to forgot that the entire ponykind was protected by two literal demigoddesses. Ponies are indeed prey creatures, but their herd nature means that they will come in huge numbers. Add that with the two goddesses, it's safe to say that the ponies are the dominant civilization.

 

2. Weird pony biology.

With the body comes all the natural reflexes and such. No need to re-learn how to take a dump and to walk.

 

About the interactions, the show itself was based on our world, so it won't be too far fetched off. And don't forget basic horse-to-horse interactions aren't that complicated to begin with.

 

1. It's just another world.

Another world with magical capabilities and eldritch abominations, with countless dangers lurks under the shadows. Heck, I find this part to be very intriguing

[sirseansy 87]

Reasons you DO want to be a pony:

 

5. There is a 2/3 chance you could either fly or do magic

 

4. Equestria appears to be peaceful and has the same social order as earth.

 

3. You would be a pony with a human conciousness and therefore able to mix your ideals with the pony's

 

2. You are physically superior to humans in pretty much every way (magic, gripping things without thumbs, unreal endurance, etc.)

 

1. It would be a totally new, different, and amazing experience. A totally new culture like you've never seen before.

 

All this is assuming you somehow TURN into a pony.

[Gestalt 17]

Hmm...

 

Vibrantly colored coat and mane.

 

CutieMark sybomlizing who i am to the very core.

 

Dinner practically grows itself.

 

Break into song whenever.

 

Meet the M6.

 

....Hell i'd do it anyway

[butter scotch 79]

You know earth ponies can balance things on their heads and walk around like the cakes do...

You know before you post something you should really do some research to make sure everything you say is right!

[InfinityWhale 771]

You know earth ponies can balance things on their heads and walk around like the cakes do...

You know before you post something you should really do some research to make sure everything you say is right!

 

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE MAIN POINT OF THE

*grumble grumble*

Look, it was a joke. I know that Earth ponies have abilities, but the show often puts them as picking things up with their mouths.

Yes, I did exaggerate, but have you ever read a Cracked article? It's ALL they do.

 

And to many, many others, I would like to point out I am not referring to visiting Equestria, I mean living there. Eventual, the magic and wonder would have to wear off, and you'd just be in another world.

[Starshine 16,333]

 

Look, it was a joke. I know that Earth ponies have abilities, but the show often puts them as picking things up with their mouths.

Yes, I did exaggerate, but have you ever read a Cracked article? It's ALL they do.

 

 

Hey, at least cracked.com article got a heckload of sarcasm and nice pictures

 

But you could really put some better points anyway, some of them right now isn't that bad anyway. Things like "no internet and all personal entertainment technologies human got" and "having a bad cutie mark will ruin your life, forever" will do better

[FalconnHoof 30]

Like everyone else said, I would like it temporarily.

 

My List:

 

5. There is too much singing in the streets. I would just ruin the whole thing.

 

4. No animated shows, so no anime.

 

3. No internet.

 

2. Dating?!?!? Awkward.

 

1. I would probably be a background pony, and I don't want to imagine what the fandom would do to me.

[InfinityWhale 771]

Hey, at least cracked.com article got a heckload of sarcasm and nice pictures

 

But you could really put some better points anyway, some of them right now isn't that bad anyway. Things like "no internet and all personal entertainment technologies human got" and "having a bad cutie mark will ruin your life, forever" will do better

 

I considered it, but I thought these were funnier. There's plenty of sarcasm in there, or so I thought. The images would have been heck to figure out, so I dropped them in the end. If this were a purely logical analysis, I coulda ripped them a new one, but I figured having fun with it was more important.

 

Like everyone else said, I would like it temporarily.

 

My List:

 

5. There is too much singing in the streets. I would just ruin the whole thing.

 

4. No animated shows, so no anime.

 

3. No internet.

 

2. Dating?!?!? Awkward.

 

1. I would probably be a background pony, and I don't want to imagine what the fandom would do to me.

 

Number 1 is quite simply the greatest argument I have ever heard. You sir, deserve an internet. A nice one.

[FalconnHoof 30]

I considered it, but I thought these were funnier. There's plenty of sarcasm in there, or so I thought. The images would have been heck to figure out, so I dropped them in the end. If this were a purely logical analysis, I coulda ripped them a new one, but I figured having fun with it was more important.

 

Number 1 is quite simply the greatest argument I have ever heard. You sir, deserve an internet. A nice one.

 

Thanks, took me a while to think of it. An internet?!?! OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh I'll put it on the fridge.

 

Although mine wasn't as long as yours. It seems you spent way more time than me. I actually read it all the way through, and you convinced me a permanent stay wouldn't work out. I think your best one would have the be the thing about the picking stuff up with your mouth. Eww, imagine training a dog to not go inside the house. You would have to pick up his mess with your mouth. I now think of Applejack in a whole new way. *shudder*

[InfinityWhale 771]

Thanks, took me a while to think of it. An internet?!?! OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh I'll put it on the fridge.

 

Although mine wasn't as long as yours. It seems you spent way more time than me. I actually read it all the way through, and you convinced me a permanent stay wouldn't work out. I think your best one would have the be the thing about the picking stuff up with your mouth. Eww, imagine training a dog to not go inside the house. You would have to pick up his mess with your mouth. I now think of Applejack in a whole new way. *shudder*

 

Thanks. I'm glad to know that at least someone appreciates my hard work and effort. Keep the internet. You deserve it.

[Rainycakes 30]

I'd still want to be a pony. Even an Earth Pony. XD Because I don't think Applejack has ever looked up at Rainbow Dash and wished to fly. She's happy just as she is, a tough farmin' pony with legs that could applebuck for days. Now, Pinkie Pie might've wished to fly, just to keep up with Rainbow Dash, but Pinkie Pie is crazy; Equestria couldn't handle Pinkie Pie being anything but an Earth Pony.

 

I'd be happy as an Earth pony, farming with Applejack.

 

I think the world would be a better one in MLP, even with all the monsters and the craziness the ponies go through, because there good will always triumph.

 

Edit: I was browsing through my pony folder and found something to add to my post.

 

 

 

<3 Applejack.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Rainycakes

[Somebody 570]

I did read all of the original post, and I found it all quite fascinating. But the truth is, were I given the chance to be a pony in Equestria, I'd jump on it without a second thought--even if it were permanent, I would not look back. You see, they may be in an undeveloped, Medieval society, but everyone in Ponyville is happy. Everyone there has real life friends they can count on, because they live in a tiny colony that requires everyone to participate in order to survive! They believe in quality, a culture that prides itself on homemade, folk tools and machines, food that is grown right in the backyard.

 

Here on Earth... only a few decades have pretty much destroyed the near-everlasting build quality of what we used to make, in favor of disposable everything. Corporate farming provides (lower quality?) food for everyone, but puts all small farms out of business. We may be the dominant species, but with nuclear weapons, wars and unspeakable crime, are we really any less at risk from destroying ourselves in an instant, versus ponies being destroyed by dragons and things?

 

Even if you count the problems of Earth ponies (do we have magic currently?), no hands (I'm sure Pinkie Pie has a steampunk hand-like device--she has a helicopter!), mouth-carrying (I could get used to it), anatomy differences (I care not), dictatorship (benevolent and functional, which is more than any Earth system can say), lack of technology (we wouldn't have Internet friends, we'd have real life friends), and even the reality of not being at the top of the food chain......... It's still better than what we've got right now.

 

Asking me if I want to go to Equestria is like asking me if I want to go back in time; the answer is still a resounding "yes." We might achieve Utopia at some point in our civilization, but I don't think any of us will live to see it. Put simply, I think we are currently in one of humanity's worst phases at the moment--beginning to be dominated by technology we don't yet understand. I try to be sunny and hopeful in humanity as much as I possibly can... because I know it's all we've got. Lose hope for the future and we lose everything. Yet if some unicorn gave me a chance to bail out, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

 

 

...Also, I was a vegetarian once! Only it's pretty well impossible to maintain that when you're living with others who aren't vegetarians.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Questio

[thegoodhen 698]

I'm pretty sure that they have sticky hooves. I mean, it can't be THAT unpractical to use hooves, when Rarity can make such good dress without magic. And who says I'd be Earth pony anyway.

Edit: Rarity is a unicorn, I feel stupid now. I dunno how I could make that mistake.

Edited July 26, 2012 by thegoodhen

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

OP, you're saying what I've been saying for ages! Brilliant, sir, brilliant. I agree with most of it. Though not the part about earth ponies. They don't get enough love.

 

I think it's completely true of what you've said. It's a situation of "Grass on the other side is greener." It always looks better in a place where you can't be, or reach. It probably would be the same as on earth, or worse. A lot of the times, as well, people who wish to go to Equestria are young and haven't experienced much of life but the constant angst of teenage negativity addling their minds, and don't really think these things through. I know when I was younger, I wanted to escape this world to go to magical lands. And I still do at times, but not because I think it'll be happier there. It's mainly just because I think magical powers are cool and would like the ability to transform. (Though I don't really want to live in Equestria permanently. There is another species I'd much rather be than pony.)

 

Though I'm not saying again that that's the reason why EVERYONE wants to go to Equestria, it's just another thing to consider.

 

Anyway, good job. You have earned my brohoof.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Arylett Dawnsborough

[KPM 288]

I entered this thread, honestly expecting some so-and-so reasons that might be relatable to some people.

Then I was taken. That's solid in a manner. It definetily does state that being a human is about as good as being a pony.

However, if you take a look at a few things;

5. Situational. Although Earth Ponies are the most common pony species, there's still probably more than 50% chance that you aren't one.

4. There's a high chance that some places not mentioned are nice places too. I don't think that there's only Ponyville, Manehattan, Canterlot and a few odds more in Equestria. There's bound to be some other splendid places.

3. Well, ponies HAVE taken control of a huge portion of area. If you count aside areas that don't really "belong" to any other species, you could consider ponies quite dominant.

2. Luckily, ponies, while different in quite a few ways from humans, still share a ton of their psychological acts.

Heck, how much pony behaviour IS there that is in no way similar to human behaviour?

1. Yes, the core things remain. No internet in Equestria for example (heh).

Some people might have problems with that. Not only that, but ponies seem to use an even bigger amount of time working than humans, if I am not mistaken. I am not sure what else to say.

 

Again, these are just a few pointers against that. That's pretty much all I can get. I still say this is one badass wall of text, but just wanted to break it's invincibility first, if you catch my drift

[Mudkip 100]

I think that the most imortant reason i would not want to be a pony other than thumbs would be meat. How could I live on a diet of pure vegatation? I crave my beef jurkey and Bacon Cheeseburgers, I don't think I could adjust to the life of a herbivore. And how vegatarians get by is a mystery to me.

[LightningBlaze 0]

 

You ignored the Applelooza war. Yes they used pies but that was because it was the only weapon they could use to keep the ratings where it was. It was still a war.

Besides, the fact that guards are present implies that Equestria is not THAT peaceful even today (or their present day).

 

As for the "pegasuseseses", that was a joke based on Chouncelor Puddinghead (Making her played by Pinkie doesn't make it less official... Right? )

 

The guards are to protect Celestia and the rest of Canterlot from any attackers (even if they are useless)

 

The Apploosa 'war' was a fight over land, every animal, human, equine, rodent, they all fight for land.

[SapphireDragon 10]

you've got a very good point, but i still want to be a pony, lol. i just think it would be cool, and a bit more fun than our world. especialy with pinkie pie around XD

[InfinityWhale 771]

The guards are to protect Celestia and the rest of Canterlot from any attackers (even if they are useless)

 

The Apploosa 'war' was a fight over land, every animal, human, equine, rodent, they all fight for land.

 

Was that a Superman Returns reference? A bit obscure, and not the best of movies, but if so, bravo, good sir.

[irobern2857 95]

I would love to be a pony but for a short time like a vacation maybe do it a couple times but never permanent

Edited July 26, 2012 by irobern2857

[LightningBlaze 0]

Was that a Superman Returns reference? A bit obscure, and not the best of movies, but if so, bravo, good sir.

 

I've never seen any Superman films. I don't like Superman. He cheats by being invincible. But that's a little off topic. xD

[Mr. Jaguar 1,403]

If you were a unicorn you could virtually do everything that you can as a human, using your magic as "hands". Just saiyan.

[The Razor Wing 879]

1. No thumbs

2. I love meat

3. No fingers

4. I would have a hard time picking what i would want be(pony, flying pony, magic pony) lol (i know what they r called im just being lazzy)

5. No hands

I need my appendages

[Twiliscael 3,960]

Nice article, brohoof for you.

My 5 reasons for not wanting to be a pony:

1. Hands

2. I like being a human

3. I like being a human

4. I like being a human

5. I like being a human.

[Teh Boi 113]

"Weird pony biology"

Lol, unwanted erections, unwanted erections everywhere.

 

Anyway, I'd overcome those mental obstacles. I wouldn't miss living on earth, except for my family and friends. But this place is kinda rotten.