My story for NaPoWrMo

[SongBrony 419]

This is the first part of my story for the National Pony Writers Month. I don't normally write stories and am interested in knowing if ponies would read this or not based on the first chapter. Please tell me what you think by using the poll. Thank you! I chose to take a different path than usual stories about MLP. I wanted to continue after the end of Season 2. Like what would happen if Chrysalis returned with a massive army. This story is either going to be viewed really good, or really bad. I don't know though. First time I've ever written a long thought out story.

 

 

 

It was a dark, muggy night. The guards standing outside were covered in sweat, but neither moved a muscle to wipe their brows. They knew that if anything happened to the prisoner, their heads would be on a pick.

 

A lone figure stood, hunched over in the trees. He raised the shaft to his mouth, and blew, sending the deadly dart flying towards the guards. It hit its mark, and the guard fell over, dead before he had hit the ground. The other guard was suddenly alert, but only for a brief second as another passed through the hole in the helmet, straight into his eye.

 

The assassin jumped down from the tree, and quietly ran over their dead bodies. He slowly made his way through the corridors, not daring to even breathe, as he might alert the other guards. Where is he? Where is his cell? Linus thought. His mission was to rescue a top priority member of the Aureolian Army. He was the top ranking demolitions expert who had changed the tides in battle. His knowledge of explosives and hoof to hoof combat made him the biggest asset to their cause.

 

About 50 years ago, Queen Chrysalis returned to Canterlot after she was defeated by Shining Armor and Princess Cadence. When she returned, she brought the entire changeling army, the Leasath. They were ruthless, killing everypony who didn’t join them to overthrow Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

 

When the Leasath had reached the castle, Queen Chrysalis killed everypony, guard and civilian, without prejudice. Celestia and Luna fought bravely, but after Luna got badly wounded, Celestia used all of her magic to save Luna. She sent her to the moon for 40 years. Celestia knew that they could not defeat both Crysalis and her army. She hoped there would be those who would still fight against Chrysalis. But they would need a leader. Somepony who knew how to fight the Leasath and their queen.

 

After her magic was spent, Chrysalis killed Celestia, and hung her head on a pick outside of Canterlot Castle. She gained the throne, and ruled Equestria for 40 years, crushing all rebellions. But then, Luna returned. She went to the leader of the rebellion, and showed him that she wanted to help. Ever since, the Aureolian army has been gaining ground, and had finally made it to Canterlot itself. But ever since they got their highest-ranking member, they have been pushed back, away from Canterlot

 

Now, it was Linus’ top priority to get him back. He checked every cell, every floor, but was unable to find him. The Aureolian’s had a call, a bird call. They would use it to deliver short messages. He whistled a 6 note tune. He heard the reply, a quick 2 note whistle coming from the end of the corridor. He quietly moved down the hall.

 

When he arrived at the cell, he found him, battered, bloody, and unbathed. “Blaze! Thank Celestia you are all right!” Linus whispered. They had been friends since they were foals, and joined the Aureolian army after Crysalis killed their parents.

 

“Yea, I’m alright. But my leg, it’s broken. So is my wing. They snapped them while trying to get information. I’m unable to walk on it.” Blaze explained. They knew how hard it would be to get out quietly with Blaze’s leg broken. Linus looked for any openings in the cell. A window, a vent, but he found nothing. “God it’s like they want you to suffocate on your own waste.” Linus said disgusted.

 

“That may have worked, if I hadn’t made an opening with a mini explosive.” Blaze said with a smile. “It’s easy. Most of these rocks contain bits of alkali metals. They react vigorously with water. It took forever, but I finally collected enough water and alkali metals to make a small explosive. It was barley noticeable. I covered it with a few rocks to hide it.” Blaze said, wincing as he put his broken leg on the ground.

 

“Is there anyway you could make it bigger?” Linus asked, hopeful. “Yea. If you want to wake up the whole dungeon.” Blaze replied. “Looks like we may have to. You can’t walk well on that leg and escape quietly.” Linus groaned.

 

“I’m already on it.” Blaze said with a grin. “I’d put your head down if I were you.” Linus placed his head down on the ground. Blaze grabbed a pouch of water from behind a rock and poured it on top of it.

 

There was a deafening explosion. The walls shuddered and rocks fell from the ceiling. “God you surprise me sometimes Blaze!” Linus yelled as he picked Blaze up and ran for the blown up exit. Linus was well out of there before the guards arrived. “Hey Linus.” Blaze asked quietly. “I need to know…where do the Aureolians stand in this war.” He started to drift into unconsciousness. “Hey Blaze stay with me now! The army is fine. We’ve been pushed back out from Ponyville. We have a camp in the Everfree Forest. Blaze, Stay with me buddy!” Linus said, trying to get Blaze to stay awake. “Luna…I have to see Luna. I have…information……” Blaze stammered off. His head was bleeding. A rock must’ve fallen on him. “C’mon man. I’m gonna patch you up.” Linus said. He knew how to make a small bandage. But this wound needed a lot more than what he could give him.

 

“I’m gonna get you to Luna. She’ll know what to do.” Linus said after he patched up his friends head. Blaze was unresponsive. “Blaze stay with me now! We’re going to get you there in one piece.” Linus said frantically. He picked up his unconscious friend and ran staright towards the camp.

Edited August 5, 2012 by Songbrony

[Charming Knight 56]

OH man i like it lol another side of MLP i like the story i would continue reading on! keep GOING!! thats all i can say!

[SongBrony 419]

I was expecting a mix of good's and bad's and a few eh's. I guess it needs some work, but it's my first story so we'll see how this goes.

 

Ok so I am currently 22 chapters into the story. In a little bit of a writers block. Not sure how to move on from the last chapter. :\

[Charming Knight 56]

oh shooot tottally forgot to keep reading work has been busy! good thing i still have the link i will see where you are at!