writing Within Blue Eyes

[The Stranger 812]

Hello Everyone! I don't know if anypony remembers but I had mentioned in another thread I had made that I was going to write a grimdark poem about Pinkie Pie. Well here it is! No need to worry, It may be grimdark but I made sure not to include any gore so it was presentable here on the MLP Forums. This poem is a little different from the others. 

 

Most poems I had ever written on the computer and on paper in my notebook always had heavy rhyming and such to them. A few hours ago though I discovered that poems don't have to rhyme to be a poem. So here it is, my first poem that has no rhyming in its content whatsoever. Enjoy and leave comments. I'm dying to know what you think [worst joke ever...].

 

[note: This poem will be on my Tumblr and DeviantART account as well.]

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Around and around the blade went, spinning like a twirling top

across the wooden table. Whenever it came to a stop she’d pick it back up and with a flick of her hoof it started up again.

 

---

 

She sat at this wooden table in the back room of the Sugarcube Corner and watch the blade spin for hours. No one ever came back here not even Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Here she could be alone, here is where she did her work and no one ever questioned her.

 

---

 

As her blade spun and spun in place the artificial light from the ceiling lantern aluminated the blade's stainless steel surface lighting up parts of the room as it spun. It mesmerized her like moth to a flame. It shiny sleek surface was cold to the touch and as sharp as a well tended to fire axe. The wooden handle never chipped or split no matter how she treated it. She loved this blade. It was like an extension of her very being. 

 

---

 

For the twentieth time the blade lost its momentum and came to an elegant halt as it gently twirled onto its side with a clank. This time she didn’t pick it up and twirl it. This time she took it with her hoof and held it up to the Lantern's light. She stared into the blade’s metal surface and watched her reflection. She flicked her hair to the side and studied her cold, sharp, blue eyes. They had a threatening appearance to them. These eyes had seen a lot. They were the only ones who witnessed her handy work. All those ponies she had her way with. All that cutting, stabbing, slashing, and twisting. Only they knew about what she had done. Only they knew of her sins.

 

---

 

For a brief second the smirk on her face disappeared. Suddenly the eyes she was observing in the blade's reflective surface didn’t seem like her own for a second. It was as if these two eyes that had softened now belonged to another pink pony. These judgmental eyes stared back down at her. It was as if they were reminding her of every pony she had ever wronged. She remembered all her victims at that moment and it terrified her.

 

---

 

Her eyes sharpened again and with a yell of anger she threw the blade at an adjacent wall with all her might. It hit the wall tip first and dug right into it with a thwack. It didn’t fall, it stayed planted in the wall as it gently swayed side to side releasing the force of her throw. She now stood over the table with both trembling hooves planted on the table's surface. She caught her breath as the adrenalin was leaving her body. She didn’t need anyone. Not Twilight, Applejack, not even Fluttershy. No one cared for her anyway. She had all the friends she needed right here in the back room of the Sugarcube Corner. Midnight had finally arrived and she needed her rest. She shut the ceiling lantern and trotted upstairs to her bedroom. Tomorrow was going to be a day to die for. 

Edited January 7, 2013 by Data Void

[Xalder 30]

I really don't know what to say about this... haha, it definitely seems more like a short fanfic than a poem. Particularly as you go farther and have larger blocks of text to read at a time. 

 

It seems like an interesting concept, a continuation of Cupcakes where she regrets her murderous deeds, perhaps? 

[The Stranger 812]

I really don't know what to say about this... haha, it definitely seems more like a short fanfic than a poem. Particularly as you go farther and have larger blocks of text to read at a time. 

 

It seems like an interesting concept, a continuation of Cupcakes where she regrets her murderous deeds, perhaps? 

I suppose your right. It was my first attempt at a poem with no rhyming after all. 

 

It still came out well written according to a fellow poet but I can see why it feels more like a short story. 

 

Thanks for your opinion.