(Official Document) An Open C&D to Hasbro

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

CEASE AND DESIST DEMAND

Pursuant to Title 17 of the United States Code

February 10th, 2013

 

Hasbro Inc.

7878 Dumbass Lane

Pawtucket, Rhode Island 02860

Dear Hasbro:

 This law firm represents Harmonic Revelations. If you are represented by legal counsel that isn't of low intelligence, please direct this letter to your attorney immediately and have your attorney notify us of such representation.

We are writing to notify you that your unlawful copying of Harmonic Revelations's infringes upon our client’s exclusive copyrights.  Accordingly, you are hereby directed to

CEASE AND DESIST ALL COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT.

 

 Harmonic Revelations is the owner a copyright in various aspects of real life. United States copyright law, Harmonic Revelations's copyrights have been in effect since the date that real life was created.  All copyrightable aspects of real life are copyrighted under United States copyright law.

 

 It has come to our attention that you have been copying real life.We have copies of your unlawful copies to preserve as evidence. Your actions/nonactions constitute copyright infringement in violation of United States copyright laws.  Under 17 U.S.C. 504, the consequences of copyright infringement include statutory damages of between $750 and $30,000 per work, or one million years dungeon,  at the discretion of the court, and damages of up to $150,000 per work for willful infringement.  If you continue to engage in copyright infringement after receiving this letter, your actions will be evidence of “willful infringement.”

 

 We demand that you immediately (A) cease and desist your unlawful copying of real life and ( B ) provide us with prompt written assurance within one hundreth (0.01) of a day that you will cease and desist from further infringement of Harmonic Revelations's copyrighted works.

 

 If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, Harmonic Revelations is entitled to use your failure to comply as evidence of “willful infringement” and seek monetary damages and equitable relief for your copyright infringement. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be advised that Harmonic Revelations has asked us to communicate to you that it will contemplate pursuing all available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees.  Your liability and exposure under such legal action could be considerable.

 

 Before taking these steps, however, my client wished to give you one opportunity to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days.  Accordingly, please sign and return the attached Agreement within ten (10) days to

 

Kiss My Ass

123ABC You and Me,

Baby, Detroit, USA 

Fax: None

 

If you or your attorney have any questions, please contact me directly.

Sincerely,

 

George The Slinky

Edited February 10, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations

[Leafeon 2,702]

Representing Hasbro;

 

Dear George,

 

Hello. We are happy to have received your cease and desist warning. Sadly, we are not able to comply. This is because we are aware you have been fired from breathing. Please, kindly pack your desk and leave life.

 

Sincerely yours,

Some random guy

Edited February 10, 2013 by Firebolt

[Doctor XFizzle 8,669]

CEASE AND DESIST DEMAND

Pursuant to Title 17 of the United States Code

February 10th, 2013

 

Tom the Diamond

1001 Delusion Alley

Somewhere, NC 12345

Dear Tom:

 

Cease and desist liking Trixie so much. She is overrated and inferior to best pony Rarity. If you do not meet this demand, Doctor XFizzle shall come over to your house and *pelvic thrust* every inanimate object you hold dear. 

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

Representing Hasbro;

 

Dear George,

 

Hello. We are happy to have received your cease and desist warning. Sadly, we are not able to comply. This is because we are aware you have been fired from breathing. Please, kindly pack your desk and leave life.

 

Sincerely yours,

Some random guy

Dear Some Random guy,

[Shift 4,272]

Dear Hasbro,

[Starswirl the Trixie 975]

To those who it may concern

 

Pursuant to Title LIII of United States Federal Code, Hasbro Incorporated and its subsidiaries are hereby ordered to decease and cyst.  For excessive usage of Title XVII, Hasbro must now die and subsequently develop bloody cysts on its corpse.  We understand that it is difficult for a company to die and grow skin lesions, but such is the law.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,307]

To the OP, I'm just going to say it.

 

I don't get it. Is this supposed to be funny or something?