Going Meatetarian

[Ron Jeremy 2,032]

In praise of shredded meat. It is possible that shredded chicken, beef and pork were all poor critters slowly fed through one of Saddam's wood chippers. On the off chance that such a fate befell these creatures, I went to a barbeque restaurant tonight.

It was great, and you could taste the suffering.

 

On that subject, I've been thinking that I need to start raising my own livestock. There are no certifications on packaging that guarantee that meat has been processed in a Meatetarian-safe manner, so I don't know if I'm breaking the Meatetarian Ethical Code when I eat meat purchased from the grocery store. How do I know they actually replaced the cow's blood with acid while it was alive, instead of just using meat tenderizer to make it tender? How do I know the chicken I'm eating has been forced to watch its chicks be flayed so it's traumatized to Meatetarian standards?

[Silverhoof 2,844]

Bragging rights. I've eaten a number of animals in my time. Oh the standards are there, pork, beef, chicken, fish, lobsters boiled alive and screaming....But I've also had lamb and rabbit.

 

The exotics i have consumed are rattlesnake, alligator, elk, deer, frogs legs, and buffalo.

 

what little lives have my fellow Meatarians snuffed out for their dining pleasure?