I'll review your OCs!

[Ampharos 1,009]

I saw Silverwisp the Bard's thread and I was like "Hey! I should do this!" So uh yea, I probably won't get a lot of people but If I do, that's great! I'll also do what Silverwisp did, ask you guys to criticize my OCs as well! They don't have incredibly thought out backstories yet, but that might change eventually. I'll also be following what Silverwisp did and rate design and backstory. Please include a link to their character data if possible I won't hold back so don't get butt hurt if I don't like it.

[Sir.Flutter Hooves 2,953]

I saw Silverwisp the Bard's thread and I was like "Hey! I should do this!" So uh yea, I probably won't get a lot of people but If I do, that's great! I'll also do what Silverwisp did, ask you guys to criticize my OCs as well! They don't have incredibly thought out backstories yet, but that might change eventually. I'll also be following what Silverwisp did and rate design and backstory. Please include a link to their character data if possible I won't hold back so don't get butt hurt if I don't like it.

 I love my OCs, I don't really care what people think about them but this should be fun!

 

Here is my first one, Brown Horizon:

 

 

Here is his girlfriend, Vivid Kicks:

 

Thanks!

[Moonpie 55]

Really cute idea, so that you can also see others OC creations. I may pop up a few other than Moonpie when I get a chance to scan and get them colored up

[Midnight fell 62]

Ok how about midnight http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/midnight-r3283 that is his page and I am in multiple rps that point at him as the main antagonists

[Adente 1,000]

Sure, take a look at my flagship OC, Windy Runner (Link in sig) if you want to. I always love to hear some constructive criticism.

[D1SC0RD 987]

Okay! Critique mine! I don't RP with her though, so there's no real back story or vital information you should know. She's just a thing I have.

 

[Ampharos 1,009]

Holy buck you guys that was fast!

 

@Sir Flutter: I actually am pretty fond of both designs. Brown Horizon is a bit too... brown. It's still doesn't ruin the design but still... 8.5/10. As for Vivid, her colors look like they shouldn't go together but somehow it works! 9/10 no real problems.

 

(I'll post each review separately as I look at each pony.)

@Demon: Ummm I'm a bit confused. What is he exactly? And could I get a it more detailed backstory cuz I'm a bit lost. A description of his design would also be nice because it's hard to make out the pic with the lined paper and dim lighting and stuff.

[Sir.Flutter Hooves 2,953]

Holy buck you guys that was fast!

 

@Sir Flutter: I actually am pretty fond of both designs. Brown Horizon is a bit too... brown. It's still doesn't ruin the design but still... 8.5/10. As for Vivid, her colors look like they shouldn't go together but somehow it works! 9/10 no real problems.

 

(I'll post each review separately as I look at each pony.)

 

@Demon: Ummm I'm a bit confused. What is he exactly? And could I get a it more detailed backstory cuz I'm a bit lost. A description of his design would also be nice because it's hard to make out the pic with the lined paper and dim lighting and stuff.

 Why thank you for your reviews. Great review by the way, and hope you get more and more, and cannot wait to read more reviews. Good job.

[Midnight fell 62]

He is darkness formed into a monster and he is seen as a ghost in the ever free forest because he died

[Ampharos 1,009]

@Windy Runner: Yes! I can review a backstory now! Anyways I like the design. His eyes contrast with his coat quite nicely, despite how different they are from the rest of his color scheme. As for that, my only real problem with the color scheme is the bronze part of his mane. The color just doesn't seem appealing to me. I also think his cutiemark should be different, because it looks a bit weird and I don't think ponies wear cleats, at least not ones that would look like that. Im assuming you wanted to stay away from a generic soccer ball, after all you did make his cutie mark a cleat, but I think you should just take that route. All in all: 7/10

I don't want to make this too long so I'll make it blunt. His personality seems to be consistent throughout your description, so that's a plus. I like his backstory as well and it seems very canon. 8/10

 

If you guys have any questions, ask away!

[Dark Moon 965]

Ah, what the hell, why not. Okay here is Dark Moon. I kind of have a back story in progress for him I guess. He is a loner, wanders the roads of Equestria, that is the reason for the armor and his cutie mark, which is the Pink Floyd light prism. Dark past I guess. Not very talkative, but isn't mean or anything. Misunderstood I guess.

[Ampharos 1,009]

@D1C0RD: Not much to go off here, but the design seems fine. The colors contrast nicely, but maybe you should add a little variance, maybe in eye color? The yellow paw does give a bit of relief from all the pinkish stuff though Overall: 6.75/10

@Demon: Kay if you want me to rate the backstory, you need to give me at least a slightly detailed one. As for the design, it doesn't seem very mlp-like. He looks like he belongs somewhere else. If I were to rate him as an original character, probably a 7/10. As an mlp original character? Not very high.

[Dopey Hooves 90]

This is Louis. He's a very competitive filly that loves to play all types of sports but, mostly soccer. He's a big trouble maker but, by far he will be a loyal friend and always loves to have a little fun. 

[Ampharos 1,009]

@Dark Moon: I like the armor, it looks very nice and the color works well. Like with D1SC0RD, I think you should add a bit of color to him, the spectrum from the prism isn't enough. About his color scheme, I recommend lightening the coat, and darkening the mane, because it all looks pretty similar. 6.75/10

His backstory is decent, not really enough for me to rate though. If you develop it a bit more, send me a link or something and I'll review it.

EDIT: also, the style of the mane is a bit weird to me, it looks just a bit too short.

@Dopey Hooves: Louis' eyes I definitely would change. Maybe a blue or green? Just about anything goes with white. He looks like he's in a very old black and white movie, and his eyes make it look more so. The color would help liven him up a bit by alot. 7/10

Again, not enough of backstory to rate. In fact you only gave me his personality lol

 

Come on guys! I want my OCs rated too! >_<

Edited June 9, 2013 by Fancy Ram

[GaleFenrir 281]

Hey, how about you review Echo's fellow agent, my good ram?

 

Anyways, here is my OC's (newly updated) page, though the link is already in my sig.

[Axegrabber 67]

Behold my OC! What is his name? Really I just call him that of my most used internet aliases...which would be Axegrabber so yeah :s

(not drawn by btw,im not that good >.>)

(nothing like pasting a larger version of your avatar)

 

 

As for backstory PFFT~! I just make something up, having my OC forced onto one persona for all RPs gets boring after awhile. (also I dont want to keep track of a whole bunch X...X)

Edited June 9, 2013 by Axegrabber

[Ampharos 1,009]

@Gale: Hey Agent C It's pretty funny cuz I read Curious' data earlier today but I did see the newer stuff. I like how his personality changes a lot, but mostly for the better. Some of those traits I've seen in ESPA so that's a plus for sticking to it. His backstory I definitely liked when I first saw it. I wonder if you're going to implement the authority-disliking behavior in ESPA? I'll just wait and see. Hmmm... 8.5/10.

As for design, I've always seen a bit of Big Mac when I see your avatar, but just a bit. The mane color goes pretty well with his coat and the scarf is a good contrast. I like how his eye color matches his scarf. I also like that you stayed with warm colors that weren't tooo similar for his mane and coat. All in all, I liked your design from when I first saw it, so probably a 8.75/10.

I also wouldn't mind if you rated my OCs, or at least just Chaos, cuz he's new and stuff

[Winona the Dog 1,984]

Can you review my OC? She's my most popular OC out of all of my OC's so I'd be happy to get some constructive criticism on her.Especially since she has a tragic past but she keeps moving forward.

 

 http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/peachy-pie-r2209

[Adente 1,000]

@Windy Runner: Yes! I can review a backstory now! Anyways I like the design. His eyes contrast with his coat quite nicely, despite how different they are from the rest of his color scheme. As for that, my only real problem with the color scheme is the bronze part of his mane. The color just doesn't seem appealing to me. I also think his cutiemark should be different, because it looks a bit weird and I don't think ponies wear cleats, at least not ones that would look like that. Im assuming you wanted to stay away from a generic soccer ball, after all you did make his cutie mark a cleat, but I think you should just take that route. All in all: 7/10

I don't want to make this too long so I'll make it blunt. His personality seems to be consistent throughout your description, so that's a plus. I like his backstory as well and it seems very canon. 8/10

 

If you guys have any questions, ask away!

 

Thanks man! And yeah, I was trying to steer away from a generic soccer ball mark. I chose his mane color in part because, since he is my ponysona, I wanted him to physically resemble me at least a little bit. 

 

There's me

 

And there's Windy. The color scheme wasn't great, but I really wanted a physical similarity, and the best thing I could think of was making our hair/manes similar colors.

 

As for the personality, I'm glad you picked up on the fact that it seemed canon. I so wanted to avoid the generic 'tragic past/angsty persona', since, honestly, Equestria is a really damn happy place! Most ponies are pretty happy and have good lives, so it doesn't make sense to have a bunch of OCs running around that were abandoned or abused or something. 

 

Overall though, for a short evaluation, I think it was really good and accurate! Thanks again!

Edited June 9, 2013 by Windy Runner

[GaleFenrir 281]

 

 

Come on guys! I want my OCs rated too! >_<

 

Echo:

 

Ironically, you have criticized quite a few OCs for being monochromatic, when Echo here is as well. Granted, he has a bit of color in his eyes, but it really seems more like a glaze, so my suggestion be to perhaps make the straight gray of the coat to a subdued tone of blue/blue-green, doesn't have to be overt or vibrant, just a hint of color.

 

Also, I question the choice of the ear. If he had a rough child hood or something explained in his back story to indicate why his ear would be like that, that'd be one thing, but it just seems to be a choice in design made for the sake of being 'cool'.

 

I do like that you didn't go with the cliche of making a disabled/impaired pony who is either really self-conscious or over compensates while trying to prove he is capable.

 

However, having some sort of inner conflict would really add some depth, so long as you avoid cliche. 7/10 overall.

 

I'll type up a review for the other one in a bit.

[Ampharos 1,009]

Ok after this I'm done til at least tomorrow. (I'm a bit busy tomorrow) I got way more replies than I expected. (sorry Lady Rainicorn)

 

@Axegrabber: Hmm, I fairly like it. My biggest problems are that the whitish part of his mane doesn't contrast very well with his coat, and the colors of his cutiemark don't either. 6.5/10

 

@Gale, yea I was waiting for someone to point that out. He's supposed to be a bit monotone because that's how he sees everypony else. I'll take your advice and see what I can do though. Also Chaos is supposed to stand out, and his colors aren't supposed to contrast too well. (Although in my opinion, they do kind of go well together)

 

@Windy: No problem Now that I look at it, the bronze doesn't look to bad. Maybe a bit more brown than bronze would make it look a bit better.

[GaleFenrir 281]

@Gale: Hey Agent C It's pretty funny cuz I read Curious' data earlier today but I did see the newer stuff. I like how his personality changes a lot, but mostly for the better. Some of those traits I've seen in ESPA so that's a plus for sticking to it. His backstory I definitely liked when I first saw it. I wonder if you're going to implement the authority-disliking behavior in ESPA? I'll just wait and see. Hmmm... 8.5/10.

As for design, I've always seen a bit of Big Mac when I see your avatar, but just a bit. The mane color goes pretty well with his coat and the scarf is a good contrast. I like how his eye color matches his scarf. I also like that you stayed with warm colors that weren't tooo similar for his mane and coat. All in all, I liked your design from when I first saw it, so probably a 8.75/10.

I also wouldn't mind if you rated my OCs, or at least just Chaos, cuz he's new and stuff

Thanks! And I have been kind of subtly including his general lack of respect for authority in his interactions with Agent Thunder. It's not quite out right insubordination, but he isn't afraid to make a point against him. Honestly, kinda hoping it escalates for a bit more fun.

 

And, I didn't design Curious with Big Mac as a direct visual influence, but I had noticed it and that is why I gave him the scarf.

 

Honestly, Big Mac is probably at least a bit of an influence as to why so many Stallion OCs are red. He is, after all, the pony most first think of when they try to think of male ponies.

[Ampharos 1,009]

@Lady Rainicorn: Screw it I'll do your's too, just cuz your the only one I haven't done at the moment. Peachy is a bit too much yellow, and her mane could be a little darker. To be honest, her cutie mark looks like an apple. if you take away the stem, and make it more of a peach color, you'll be peachy keen (I shouldn't make puns.) 6.75/10

Backstory: Ehhhh, I don't like backstories that are that tragic. I'll admit my OCs have somewhat tragic backstories, which are blindness and abandonment, (For Echo Sight and Chaos respectively) but the death of a close sister after an argument and separation is a bit too much for my taste. That's just my opinion. If it has to do with a plot I'm all in, but if not I'm iffy about it. 6/10

[D1SC0RD 987]

@D1C0RD: Not much to go off here, but the design seems fine. The colors contrast nicely, but maybe you should add a little variance, maybe in eye color? The yellow paw does give a bit of relief from all the pinkish stuff though Overall: 6.75/10

 

Heh, I didn't color her. She was originally yellow with green hair and had a light blue stripe. However, I wanted to keep the red eyes and with those pastel colors, it looked weird. I had an artist figure out a scheme that would make the eyes fit... Without monochromatic scheme, the eyes would look random and off-putting. Thanks for your input though! I suppose it is pretty damn pink and bright

[Winona the Dog 1,984]

Peachy is a bit too much yellow, and her mane could be a little darker.

 

 

I was kind of meh about that. I didn't really mind it though.

 

 

 

To be honest, her cutie mark looks like an apple.

Lol!, Yeah it does look like an apple.....I think the shape needs a bit reformatted but I'm waiting on a few more request drawings of here.

 

 

 

Ehhhh, I don't like backstories that are that tragic.

 

To be honest I'm quite a fan of tragic back stories. I guess it varies from person to person but I just like it because it gives a sense of darkness and despair to a characters life and it makes them interesting in a way.

 

Thanks for the critique!

Edited June 9, 2013 by Lady Rainicorn