I'll review your OCs!

[GaleFenrir 281]

@,

 

Alright, here's my review of your second OC, Chaos

 

My first point of contention would be in the name itself. Typically, pony names are 2-3 syllables, and while there is exceptions, it is kind of jarring. However, considering his relation to Discord, that is justifiable. And yet, there is still an alternative name I can think of that could have a bit more meaning: Anarchy.

 

For, you see, Chaos conjures visions of eldricth horror, such as one comparable with Discord himself. It represents something very primal. This character, however, is a pony. One who is under the influence of Discord, but he is still innately a pony, and all that entails.

 

Anarchy is chaos applied to society. Thus, a pony named such would distinguish himself as an outcast, yet still a part of ponykind.

 

That is just my personal musings on how to infuse his name with more symbolic meaning, though.

 

Anyways, unto visual design. As you said, there is clear contrast, yet works well. This would be because blue and orange(as well as red/green and purple/yellow) are complimentary; that is, they are distinct from each other but they benefit from being paired. SO that was a good choice on your part, intentional application of color theory or no.

 

In regards to personality, I am really quite surprised at the lack of inner conflict. It's not something I expect from every character, but it's something I really would when they are raised by disorder incarnate. Honestly, it seems like a lot of people assign pretty general characteristics(loyal, honest, kind, generous, funny, magical... wait wut) when it comes to writing a summary of their character's personality. I admit my own style is a bit obtuse, so I imagine an ideal middle ground between brevity and depth would be the goal.

 

Backstory time now! Discordian influence is always a topic I like to see in fan work, whether it be Screw Ball or the cult present in the Lunaverse, so I admit I am a little biased. I realize the backstory is purposely vague to adapt to different RPs, but it would be nice to detail what his personal relationship to Discord and even how he views the society he's an outcast of.

 

Given Discord's chaotic nature, perhaps he was inconsiderate of the little colt, and your character was always trying to win his approval and attention?

 

Again, personal musings there, but it would be nice to see if you gave some more thought into how his unusual childhood would have played out.

 

Overall, I dunno what grade to give. I have always been awful with numerical scoring when its a fairly subjective matter.

Edited June 9, 2013 by GaleFenrir

[Ampharos 1,009]

@Gale: I just realized I didn't really respond enough to your first critique. Honestly I only read the color part. I read the rest and I want to say a few things. I don't think I meant to make him have a torn ear, I might have been working on a different pony and forgot to fix it. Also, I don't really want him to have inner conflict because like you said he doesn't think himself being disabled, at least not anymore.

 

As for Chaos, or should I say Anarchy, (I thought of it before, but dismissed the idea. Now that you gave me a good reason, it seems much more fitting) thanks for reminding me about the color wheel thing. I thought that the blue and orange went together for some reason, and that's it. Anyways I didn't really want to write a descriptive backstory yet cuz I made him very recently and am still thinking of stuff for it. I thought of Discord being towards Anarchy like how he was towards Fluttershy. Kind of ignorant but would warm up towards Anarchy when he became frustrated. As for his place in society, I guess he has a hatred towards Twilight because she is Celestia's apprentice, so he avoids Ponyville and especially Canterlot. (sidenote: he's the same age as Twilight) In this AU, Discord escaped much earlier than in canon mlp, about 4 years before Anarchy and Twilight were born. That's all I really have right now, but I hope that gives you a slightly better idea of his backstory.

[Princess Periwinkle 3,774]

Ok, I'll have a go at it. I know he's not the most interesting character in the world, but I'd like to have him rated anyways. Here's the link.

[Ampharos 1,009]

Well I'm going to sleep now, it's like 12:30 where I live for those of you not in my time zone. I'll do yours the next chance I get Sky Chaser.

[Inkie 87]

here goes nothing

inkheart [inkie for short] is an oc i've had for less than a year now. i want her to resemble me as much as possible, so since i'm only a teenager and i haven't found exactly what i want to be yet, i made her have more of a younger build and no cutie mark, atleast not yet. 

if you'll ignore the texture, she's a pegasus with a light brown coat with coral-hot pink eyes and blue mane. as i want her to represent me as much as possible, she doesn't really have much of a crazy backstory. she just travels around alot and loves to draw, sometimes hang out with her few close friends or just be alone and relax.

[Ampharos 1,009]

BTW I'VE UPDATED ECHO'S COLOR SCHEME. Just thought I'd do that because I realized I was being a bit hypocritical and GaleFenrir gave me a good idea for colors.

[GaleFenrir 281]

@,

 

On the topic of Echo's personality, I don't mean for you to give him a tragic or scarred outlook on life to give him character conflict.

 

really, just add a few facets to what is already there. His primary personality trait you have for him is that he is shy but can steel his resolve in times of need.

 

Sound familiar?->

 

But with Fluttershy(and all the Mane6, with their respective personalities), that basic skeleton is given additional depth, and that's what separates her from a shallow stereotype.

 

For instance, she isn't just shy, she seems to actively prefer(at least, prior to character development) the company of woodland critters to that of other ponies. She isn't just a BAMF in times of need; she is maternally nurturing under standard circumstances, and thus the instances when she has to stare down a monster, that is her maternal nature put under extremes.

 

Again, I realize there needs to be margins of flexibility to adapt to different RPs, but my suggestion would be to expand on the basis you have already set, and then develop from there in the roleplay proper.

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

I have two OCs. One is a concept character, and the other is more of a 'sona.

 

Let's get the 'sona out of the way first. This is Lightning Flicker. His name and appearance were generated based on my name. He doesn't really have any personality or backstory, he's just a 'sona.

 

 

This little filly, on the other hand, is Spearhead. I designed her for a fanfic that I never ended up writing. She's a military mare with the Canterlot Royal Guard, fiercely loyal to Equestria, and willing to do whatever it takes to ensure its safety.

 

I had her planned as a pro/antagonist. She saw her unorthodox methods as the only way to keep Equestria safe, so she would often come into conflict with the more by-the-book ponies on her team over how things should be done.

 

One of my favorite writing techniques is ambiguous characterization. Give a character a viewpoint, define them through their actions, and then let the audience decide whether they're good or bad. Spearhead was my way of dabbling in that.

 

 

Lemme know what you think.

[Nuclear Neurotic 56]

 

 

 

Sometimes makes serious errors in judgement which causes miscalculations in her explosions.

She is spontaneous, as in she will randomly decide do anything that catches her interest. But it is evened out by her lack of keeping up with the interests, many of them eventually being dropped.

Knowledgeable in different bombs and explosive materials.
Little care for strangers who get the way of her experiments. But will sometimes (attempt to) warn them long before.

Quite the risk-taker, as shown by her intense love of nukes and explosions.
If you are able to get past the "crazy", she is a good friend and won't hesitate to please. (Although majority of the time it involves trying to blow something up).

[Ampharos 1,009]

@@Nuclear Neurotic, hehe I like this idea. Design-wise, the amount of yellow that there is makes up for they amount of grey and black there is, although those colors suit her. The shagginess of the main and coat, as well as the spots, add some distinctive features. 9/10 I really like it.

Again, no backstory, but her personality suits her look and what seems to be her talent. Very nice

[Agent505 660]

Well, buck it all. I don't normally care much for things like this, considering I like to take pride in the things I do but to hell with that! 

I want an honest opinion on how much I suck  

 

Note, with the exception of Creeping Dusk, I made these purely for RP'ing with, and as such i've wanted to put a little twist on each on just to give them something interesting to play with when I use them. If you don't feel like reviewing them all, just do Dusk and i'll be happy. 

 

Creeping Dusk

Frostbite

Harmonic

Ardent Discharge - (I really need to change this guy's name...)

[TheSupremeLeaderOfChaos 1,189]

Welp, better throw mine in here too!

 

 

That's Nightshadow, the first OC I made! This isn't my drawing; it's made by the very talented SweetJeans. She's awesome. I don't RP, so there's nothing in particular you need to know. Just judge on appearance, I guess!

 

 

 

Same with Kaos Wind here. This one I did draw, and I am very proud. Oh and her eyes should be ice blue, I'm just really bad at coloring eyes and making them look good.

 

 

So whaddaya think?

 

 

 

 

 

 

[GaleFenrir 281]

Hey, wondering if you could do a review of my second OC, Gardenia.

 

And  I know you'll probably mention it if I don't, but the pupils are rather large in her picture. Not so much an intentional choice, I just have problems drawing eyes sometimes.

 

I am working on that though.

[Nuclear Neurotic 56]

@@Nuclear Neurotic,

Again, no backstory, but her personality suits her look and what seems to be her talent. Very nice

 

Yeah, currently working on her backstory. But I got a loose idea of what it'll be once I type it up.

[Ampharos 1,009]

@@GaleFenrir, Yea I bucking hate drawing eyes XD Anyway I like the design. They don't look like colors you'd think a gardener would have, which is a good thing. The colors all mash together nicely, although I'm not a fan of manes that seem like real hair, color and shape-wise. 8.5/10 very nice.

As for backstory, Meh. It's good and all, but sounds like a fairy tale princess just a bit. She is humble. Doesn't like using her title. Not necessarily direct royalty. Wants to see the world. You get the point. Ummm, 5-6/10? Don't really know. The backstory and personality kind of fit her design.

[Piña colada 3]

Finally! Someone who reviews OCs. I don't role play with mine, i just never really enjoyed it.

 

Her name is piña colada and her hobbies include getting caught in the rain.

 

[GaleFenrir 281]

@,

 

yeah, I do admit her back-story is rather Disney, as I created her more concept-driven than I did Curious(that concept being: an Earth Pony princess).

 

At the very least, I am doing my best to not write her to act as such, no one day sudden romances for her, nope.

[Ampharos 1,009]

@Pina Colado: For one, I think there's already a pony named Pina Colado. Anyway the colors clash nicely, and that's really all I can say considering she's an Apple Bloom recolor (i think) 6/10.

[Sugar Pea 2,681]

This is my pony self...and i'm afraid that I may not look like a pony that would come from MLP FiM. I'm really curious to find out if I need a bit of tweaking to my ponysona, if so it will be no problem at all. If not, that's great! ^^

 

[Ryzze Faul 5]

http://mlpforums.com/topic/63324-my-pony-backstory/

 If you would be so kind, I've got a pic, a backstory, and a cutie mark explanation. I'm kind of new at this hole thing and need some critique. Thanks in advance.

[Distant Dubstep 1]

i dont got anything better to do so i ghess here we go!

the one on left is my friends OC CraZ Crank hes a adventurer and mine is on the right.mine is name is Distant Dubstep and well hes a dubstep dj!

[shy0wl 484]

Mine is still somewhat work in progress and it still doesn't have a name (the ones I chose are already taken  )  But so far this mine: 

 

 

 

I really hope I didn't make the same design as somebody else's OC

[Piña colada 3]

@Pina Colado: For one, I think there's already a pony named Pina Colado. Anyway the colors clash nicely, and that's really all I can say considering she's an Apple Bloom recolor (i think) 6/10.

There is a pony called piña colada, but she looks nothing like one. I am currently searching for someone who can make a completely original design for my pony. Once I do that ill post again with a new and improved version.

[Remi 1,309]

I suppose I could use as much feedback as possible on my projects. I'll give this a try! Well, my OC Pony's name is, suprisingly, 'Swing Box'. This isn't actually the full body shot of him, I just only made a profile picture sized document. Well, here it is!

Give me your full opinion!

<brohoof> 

[Princess Periwinkle 3,774]

Don't forget about me. :3

 

Sorry to bother you, but I don't think you ever reviewed mine from way back on the second page. Just bumping it.