Count to a million

[lomk 20,666]

245,367

 

I'm like Raritas when it comes to reading fan fics lol Nothing personal. I just don't really read them. I don't really read in general. 

 

Doritos had a great commercial this year. Like always

[Overdrive 5,366]

245368

 

I'm not asking you to read the whole thing. Could you read a chapter of it and tell me how it is?

[lomk 20,666]

..--- ....- ..... ...-- -.... ----.

 

Hm. Sure. I reckon I could lol

[Overdrive 5,366]

245370

 

 

 

Overdrive took a little time to do a little siteseeing. He visited many of the landmarks Manehattan was noticed for, took in a show, and spent some time in Central Park. Eventually, he worked his way to one of the fine dining establishments the town had to offer, and indulged himself on some of the finest cuisine that side of the Great Divide.

 

One thing still weighed on his mind. That alley, in Greenwich Village, where he saw that tail, he was still curious about it. As delicious as his meal was, it still couldn’t take his mind off the scene that unfolded.

 

After he finished his meal, paid the bill, and left a tip, he departed the restaurant, and headed back to that alleyway. The sun set upon the river, giving off a soft glow to cap off the day as he briskly rushed back to Greenwich Village. Once there, he sprinted between blocks before coming across the alleyway he was at earlier. He slowly walked down the alley, carefully approaching the box with the tail peering out of it. As he got closer, he noticed a pony’s flank, and as he kept inching forward, more of the pony became noticeable.

 

It eventually became clear to him that a young mare laid in the box. She couldn’t be any older than 13. She was peacefully sleeping, curled up to stay warm.

 

But there was one thing that struck Overdrive odd: she was wearing a diaper, and at another glance, it clearly had been used. Overdrive felt bad for her, and decided to take her home with him, regardless of the risk. He scooped her up, as well as the few items she had with her.

 

Overdrive’s hotel wasn’t far from where he found her, so he walked over to it, with the mare on his back. As he approached the front desk to check in, the concierge asked, “Good evening sir. Checking in?”

 

Overdrive replied, “Yes ma’am. I have a reservation for this evening. Name’s Overdrive.”

 

The concierge took a look at the registry, and then responded, “Ah yes, here you are sir,” as she handed Overdrive the key to his room. “We hope you have a nice stay.”

 

Overdrive nodded, then headed upstairs with the young lilac pony on his back. He shuddered for a moment as he felt something warm on his back. “She must be a bedwetter,” he thought. “Good thing she’s wearing a diaper.”

 

He eventually reached his room, and unlocked the door. After he entered, he set the sleeping mare down on the bed, and then set down all of his and her things. Overdrive then went back over to her, and noticed how innocently she was sleeping. “Cute foal,” he whispered, “I don’t understand why anyone would force her out on the streets like this.”

 

He took another look at her, this time at her diaper. The faint discoloration he noticed earlier had now turned into a deep, colored look, and it looked as if her diaper was ready to burst at any second. At that moment, he quickly went over to her things, and grabbed supplies to change her with.

 

Overdrive had somewhat of an idea on how to change a diaper, seeing that when he wasn’t busy, he’d watch Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s foals, and had to change them from time to time. Overdrive nudged her over onto her back quietly and carefully, as not to disturb her sleeping. He then slowly untaped her diaper. As he began to take it off, he noticed she began to have another accident, so he waited until she was finished before resuming.

 

He slowly lifter her flanks in the air, and pulled the soggy diaper out from under her. He wrapped it up, and threw it in the garbage can. Then, after powdering and wiping her clean, he grabbed a fresh new diaper, slid it under her flanks again, and then taped it up snugly, making sure it wouldn’t leak, at least not under normal circumstances. He then made sure she was comfortable before putting her supplies back, and then climbed into bed himself, after a long, exhausting day. 

I should mention it's the story of how Violet Skye came into Overdrive's life, just as a head's up.

[Discordly Cutiepie 2,065]

i love it OD

 

245371

[lomk 20,666]

245,372

 

Man it's hard to read and watch the Super Bowl at the same time

 

I'll say that Seattle offense at the end of the half was pretty clutch lol

[Overdrive 5,366]

245373

 

Well, it's half time now.

[lomk 20,666]

245,374

 

Okay. It's not bad. The grammar could use a little touching up and it could be overall more appealing to the senses (by that, I mean it does a decent job of creating the environment - I might suggest using more vivid wording to touch on all the senses - how the food tasted, what kind of smell was coming from the box, was Violet's coat kind of greasy when he lifted her, was Violet difficult to lift anyway, what sounds could be heard coming from the river, I assume this was a populated area so was there a lot of chatter, that sort of thing). As the reader, I want to become Overdrive. So coax me into doing so.

 

I assume this is a first draft. But yeah, it's not bad overall. 

 

That's really the only suggestion I have thus far.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Duke Space Woona

[BastementSparkle 20,334]

245375

 

Hey.

[Overdrive 5,366]

245376

 

I appreciate it.

[lomk 20,666]

245,377

 

No problem! 

 

I think Katy Perry's music is garbage, but I'll say the visuals are pretty legit. And I'll give her credit that putting on a show like that has to have the difficulty cranked up to 11. 

[Zyla Fae 5,411]

245.,378+

 

It's definitely not been the worst half-time show I've seen

[BastementSparkle 20,334]

245379

[lomk 20,666]

245,380

 

Base

 

*agrees with Rorri*

 

It's still pretty garbage though lol i wish I could have been around at 27 when Michael Jackson performed :3

 

I was definitely alive but c'mon...I wasn't watching football when I was 7 months old.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Duke Space Woona

[CC_Maud_Pie 6,431]

245380

Sorry corporate media, not watching the Super Bowl. Got better things to do.

Edited February 2, 2015 by CC_Maud_Pie

[BastementSparkle 20,334]

245382

 

Woona.

 

 I'm not watching either Maud.

[lomk 20,666]

245,383

 

Oh. Always reaired their "Like a Girl" commercial. It's great but I expect to see new content at the Super Bowl

 

I know that Push It commercial has been around a little bit but it still makes me laugh

 

It does seem like the commercials are getting less entertaining though. I still watch it because the games are good. 

Edited February 2, 2015 by Duke Space Woona

[Zyla Fae 5,411]

245.,384+

 

I still watch for the commercials, I'm not an american football person

[CC_Maud_Pie 6,431]

245385

[lomk 20,666]

245,386

 

 

Only wish I could have moves like Michael

Edited February 2, 2015 by Duke Space Woona

[BastementSparkle 20,334]

245387

[Overdrive 5,366]

245388

 

I still remember the Janet Jackson-Justin Timberlake wardrobe malfunction.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Overdrive

[lomk 20,666]

245,289

 

I remember that too!!

 

Anyway I liked this. This was pretty awesome

 

[Overdrive 5,366]

245390

 

It makes me want to buy a Lexus now.

[BastementSparkle 20,334]

245391

 

*Continues to have nothing to contribute to this conversation*

 

 Ponies.