Count to a million

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

352194

 

I could "Improve" my life if I was willing to put in the Effort.

 

 But what happens when none of the improvements seem like improvements, when they don't seem worth the effort, when you're stuck and just don't really want any of it?

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352.195

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8Qp38qT-xI

[Moony the Cat 3,703]

352196

 

I know that feelings, that you just want to..not be there at all.

I have this thoughts to. But im not handle them really good, so i cant give any advice or something to maybe help you. 

Edited October 15, 2015 by Velvietta

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352.197

[Deae Rising Shine~ 56,084]

352.198

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

352199

 

I'm probably doing nothing but being annoying right now.

[lomk 20,663]

352xxx

 

I'm sorry, but I just don't know what to say. I can't wrap my mind around not wanting to be bigger or go farther. Even at my worst when all I wanted was to kill myself, I clung to dreams of doing something bigger and it's partially why I'm still here. So I'm sorry. I can't grasp that line of thought.

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352.200

 

You're not annoying, at least not to me...

 

... also, what an asshole would I be, talking about the same or similar shit, wanting people to listen, but then being annoyed when somebody else does...

 

... I just don't have anything, any advice or so, to say...

[Moony the Cat 3,703]

352202

 

No, youre not annoying.Not at all. We all need to talk about things sometimes. Thats okay.

Edited October 15, 2015 by Velvietta

[lomk 20,663]

352xxx

 

And if you wanna vent, that's fine. But I have just determined that we too differently that I just can't be of help when it comes to the things that bother you.

[Deae Rising Shine~ 56,084]

352.204

 

*Doesn't know what to say*

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352.205

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

352206

  On 2015-10-15 at 6:47 PM, Buttertoast said:

352xxx

I'm sorry, but I just don't know what to say. I can't wrap my mind around not wanting to be bigger or go farther. Even at my worst when all I wanted was to kill myself, I clung to dreams of doing something bigger and it's partially why I'm still here. So I'm sorry. I can't grasp that line of thought.

 

That's fine, I'm glad you have something to cling to. It's a weird feeling not having that.

 

 I just don't want things. I've never wanted a job, or career, or a relationship, or kids, or a big house, or to go to college or to travel or...any of it. I just didn't. I can't say why, they just aren't interesting. I just want my friends, my games, my TV shows, and my peace. The very things that make other people push past their weakness are the things that seem to cause mine, and there's no way for me to ever really avoid a lot of them.

 

 I don't want to die, but I can't say I've ever found life very pleasant. 90% of it has been stressful, or painful, or confusing, or just a bit boring. I can't comprehend how people find it so worthwhile.

Edited October 15, 2015 by BasementShy

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352207

[Deae Rising Shine~ 56,084]

352.207

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352209

[BastementSparkle 20,328]

352210

 

I hate how I can't be honest with you guys without upsetting you, I know you want to help and that you're not mad at me but it's upsetting since I know you're probably worried or something.

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352211

 

:/

[Deae Rising Shine~ 56,084]

352.212

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352213

[Deae Rising Shine~ 56,084]

352.214

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352215

[Deae Rising Shine~ 56,084]

352.216

[Moony the Cat 3,703]

352217

[DasCapschen 7,766]

352217