dark the ballad of solar flare (Part 1 re-polished out now)

[A Jewel of Rarity 207]

LUNA pre-transformation

 

It had started as a normal day in Equestria; Luna had finished lowering the moon and Celestia had finished raising the sun, as they did every day.

 

"Sister...you seem awfully frustrated...is something the matter?" said Luna; there was no reply.

 

Again, Luna asked if anything was wrong, a thunderous force in her voice, beckoning for her sister's attention;

 

...Still, there was no reply.

 

Celestia walked off to her bedroom, darkness, anger, and sorrow seemingly visible in the musty aura surrounding the Princess who ruled over all of Equestria.

 

The rest of the day dragged by, as every other day seemed to do; she usually rested herself, to prepare to guard the night. She was trying to do this, yet she couldn't; some unintelligible babbling was coming from the dungeon.

 

This was strange to Luna; the moaning let her know someone was down in the depths of the concrete prison, yet, Celestia would always tell her when someone was down there.

 

It was strange, as she hadn't been alerted to the prescence of a new prisoner.

 

She started down the dungeon way, the dreary, humid chill in the air becoming even thicker as she descended into the bottom of the castle. The darkness grew around her, and she felt the sking beneath her coat begin to tense up. Had it been a different pony, or even a different alicorn, this would've been an unsettling feeling; for Luna, however, this was all in a day's work.

 

The sobbing grew louder and louder until she reached the last step. She sensed around her to find a sign of life, and when she did, the royal tone found its way into her voice.

 

"STATE YOUR NAME AND WHY YOU ARE HERE!" She shouted; the royal tone was intimidating, naturally, and it showed when she sensed the prisoner tense up.

 

"M.m...m-my name is L-Lightning Flash!" He said, cowering behind his hooves after finishing his introduction, covering his face as he visibly shivered. Her response was a simple glare.

 

"I-I-I-I-I was t-thrown in here by P-Princess C-Celestia...she says it is now against the law of Equestria to f-fly without a permit...anyone that f-flys without one will have their r-right wing broken..." said the prisoner.

 

Luna turned around in shock, concealing her look of chagrin and surprise from the prisoner and quickly made her way back up out of the dungeon to speak with a Royal Guard.

 

"Lightning Flash had been thrown into the dungeon for flying without a permit." said the guard, his tone and expression as straightforward and professional as required; Luna had always secretly found this sort of boring, and wondered why it was required for them to be so emotionless. Yet, this was no problem at the moment; the real problem was why her older sister had done such a thing.

 

It was unlike the Celestia she had known for so long.

 

Something had to be done about this.

 

Luna arrived at Canterlot Castle and searched for Celestia in order to speak to her about this new "law." She eventually came to Celestia's royal bedroom and knocked on the door.

 

Nothing.

 

She knocked again.

 

Still nothing.

 

Manners and proper-behavior for a princess were no longer called for, and she burst into the door of Princess Celestia's royal bedroom that was gilded in gold and the shine flame.

 

Only, this time, the shine wasn't from the same flame from the Ruler of Equestria.

 

An alicorn with a mane made out of flame and a stare cold enough to freeze sub-zero sat where her older sister belonged.

 

"Sister...?" She said, a tone of fear and surprise seeping out of her muzzle, before she picked herself back up to face this new alicorn...

 

"Princess Celestia, is that you?"

 

The strange alicorn stood up and glared at Luna. "Celestia?! Who is this Celestia of whom you speak?!"

 

Luna raised her voice, matching the volume of this strange new alicorn. "What have you done with Princess Celestia?"

 

A smarmy, sickeningly arrogant smile spread across the muzzle of the fiery alicorn.

 

"Oh... so I see."

 

The room went ablaze following these words, and a look of arrogance went to a look of power as quickly as the room they were both in was burning away.

 

Her voice began taking two tones as she spoke. "YOUR SISTER IS NOW ONE WITH ME. SHE IS UNDER MY COMMAND. YOU ARE NOTHING TO HER ANYMORE. YOU ARE NOT NEEDED. BEGONE AT ONCE!"

 

Luna turned her face away as the flames in the room were getting to hot to look directly at; she could feel the heat singing her mane, and it was a far different feeling than the dark chill of the night.

 

Still, Luna persisted; "Let her go!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. "Do you know of whom you speak!? You fool! The Ruler of Equestria is under no pony's command!"

 

The room simmered down after that. It was exactly the same as it was before; the walls that had been burning only seconds ago looked brand new, and the disturbingly cocky smirk had once again found it's way across this damned alicorn's muzzle.

 

"Oh...? And who are you to say that? This is what Celestia wants. Who are you to demand what is the..." She scoffed out Celestia's title. " 'Ruler of Equestria' wants? She is under no pony's command, right?

 

Luna dismissed the statement, and persisted. "I won't ask you again, stranger. Let my sister free, or you will feel a wrath brought upon you like none you have ever felt before..." Her voice became even more serious to match the night-filled glare in her eyes.

 

"...and it will be at my hooves."

 

The ablaze alicorn scoffed again. "...You're adorable when you get serious like this, aren't you aware? Still, you're not asking me, you're asking Celestia herself...I believe she's denying your request, too. Bah. You're just a useless little alicorn, you know that? Your night...it sickens me more and more everytime I see it. These ponies will look up at the stars and find it to be the most beautiful thing in all of Equestria...but they look at my sun and are blinded. It disgusts me everytime I feel it happen."

 

Luna felt tears of anger burning in her eyes, ready to break out any second.

 

"Sh-Shut up! Let my-"

 

Her breathing was cut off by a magical grip; one that seemed to be as strong as a vise.

 

...she was fighting for air, forcing choked attempts for breaths up out of her lungs, all of them in vain.

 

...she wasfighting for life...she could feel some blood rising up from her throat...

 

...her eyesight was fading...

 

...she felt as if she could be dying...

 

..."Solar Flare."

 

With that, she found herself being hurled out of the castle, out of all of Canterlot...

 

...she had failed...she couldn't fight back...

 

Two words that had been whispered in her ear before being thrown from the castle were still ringing in her mind, though, as if they were still being spoken to her after she had hit the ground.

 

..."Solar Flare"...

 

More parts coming soon

 

 

 

 

     ~plot written by a jewel of rarity, scootlaove and MLP_moth~

~and a special thanks to Ghostfacekiller39 for polishing the writting~

Edited November 10, 2013 by a jewel of rarity

[MLP Moth 224]

You can have Luna become Nightmare Moon in order to stop her from burning Equestria. You can call Luna's intentional Nightmare Moon form Eclipse.

 

@a jewel of rarity if you want a co-writer I'll be glad to help.

Edited November 10, 2013 by MLP_Moth

[A Jewel of Rarity 207]

You can have Luna become Nightmare Moon in order to stop her from burning Equestria. You can call Luna's intentional Nightmare Moon form Eclipse.

 

@a jewel of rarity if you want a co-writer I'll be glad to help.

my co writer is scootalove but if you want i could use a third writer i will invite you to our chat just give me i min just writing of the first parts

done writing the first part here is a teaser

 

it started as a normal day luna had finished lowering the moon and celestia had raised the sun "sister you seem frustrated is something wrong" luna said worryingly, 

celestia glared at luna and replied in a snarly voice "Leave me alone sister", luna was confused as to why her sister replied this way but she shrugged it off.

Part 1 out now we would love feedback we are planning an a few more parts the next part will focus on what solar flare will do next.

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

Alright, lemme see...

 

The plot is great! Good ideas, creative...I like it

 

A lot of spelling and punctuation mistakes, though. You should find a proofreader, because when you get that fixed, the story will become more popular, I promise

 

Alright. Good work, dude!

[A Jewel of Rarity 207]

hey everypony im looking for suggestions for more of the story just post your suggestions or feedback on part 1 i have alot of room for improvement 

we just got a proofreader/polisher we got the first part of the story polished an you can expect the same quality for all parts

[Hive King 2,001]

I like this and the justification for Evillestia is just as silly as Luna's. I would like to mention that Celestia will have an advantage largrer than Nightmare Moon against Celestia

 

Nightmare Moon>Celestia

Celestia>=Luna

Solar Flare>=Nightmare Moon>Celestia>=Luna. 

[A Jewel of Rarity 207]

I like this and the justification for Evillestia is just as silly as Luna's. I would like to mention that Celestia will have an advantage largrer than Nightmare Moon against Celestia

 

Nightmare Moon>Celestia

Celestia>=Luna

Solar Flare>=Nightmare Moon>Celestia>=Luna. 

keep an eye out for part two i guarantee it will have a large plot build up we are currently writing the first draft of part two and then it will take maybe a week for polishing so it may be a part a week glad you liked it

 

 

 

(sidenote why are you not using the sig i made you )

[Hive King 2,001]

keep an eye out for part two i guarantee it will have a large plot build up we are currently writing the first draft of part two and then it will take maybe a week for polishing so it may be a part a week glad you liked it

 

 

 

(sidenote why are you not using the sig i made you )

I tried putting it in but it said "format not compatible" or something to the lines of that   On the bright side, it works on the DBZ forums and I use it there under the name of "lazerbem". Back on track, yay, more chapters

[A Jewel of Rarity 207]

Part two's final draft was finished today tomorrow we will begin a clean up on the rough edges of story then send it of for polishing

Give it anywhere between 3 days to 1 week

we are starting to plan part 3 soon, but we need alot more writers so if you wanna join just PM me and maybe give me some proof on your writing